Starting a New Job and Social Anxiety
Hi everyone. Im Renzen, and I started a new job today! And at my favorite restaurant to boot! Exciting right? Haha haha haha WRONG. Im working as a hostess; something I have wanted to do since the middle of college (I graduated with a degree in Music so I figured, hostessing/serving/bartending would be the way to go for money). HOWEVER, for some reason, I did not think of the effect having such a sociable job would have on my social anxiety. As a hostess, I am the first and last thing the customers see before they leave. I was so overwhelmed with having to greet guests both hello and goodbye that I constantly a) stumbled over words b) forgot things that were said to me five or six times and c) fidgeted throughout my shift. Not the greatest first impression! I have yet to hold a stable job and Im so scared that Im going to lose this one! Outside of my boyfriend and new (emphasis NEW) therapist, I havent the slightest support system to help listen, discuss, and cope with the every day goings on of my various disorders , least of all social anxiety. So Im hoping to find some support and reassurance here while I get over the initial hump of this new job. Because I really need to keep this job. I really do.
@renzen congrats
do you have a self appreciation system where you reward yourself for every mini milestone, its a great way to combat the fear
@HalaymaKhatunDiplomaCounselor I do not. My last therapist was amazing, but in our time together, we didnt really focus on cultivating any tools. It was great having someone to talk to and release all of my thoughts on but thats as far as we went.
So, Im sort of blindly trying to live and cope with my mental health and its hard.
@renzen thats a great start
@renzen
@renzen
Congratulations on the new job! I
@lisslistens thanks. It does help somewhat. And my coworkers were a lot more helpful today besides, so I didn
@renzen I'm sure it will get better given time. Try talking to your therapist about some strategies to use regarding your social anxiety and employment situations?
Hi Renzsen, you express yourself incredibly well with words and your music education makes you special. I am sure that anyone you greet will pickup on your positives rather than your nervousness. Keep going. 3 days so far shows a brave person. I hope your anxiety subsides.
I have run away from such situations when I was starting my career. If only then I had understood how I could gain more control with breathing techniques. Anyway, I am aware how hard it all is to find positivity when you feel out of control. Its something I can relate to. Sending you positive energy.
@dynamicBranch7284 thank you for your positive energy and overal vibe. i appreciate you sharing a bit of your own experience. its always helpful to know other people go through similar situations. ive started doing breathing exercises whenever i feel a little overwhelmed or when I get all into my head about whether my coworkers like me or not. three deep breaths is all it takes sometimes, isnt it?
also, there is this mantra i stumbled upon my LinkedIn yesterday that helps as well. whenever you feel nervous, rather than allowing the nerves to take center stage, reverse your vocabulary and simply say, This is so exciting. I practiced it yesterday both in the moments leading up to work and in the unforeseen circumstances I later found myself in. The mantra works wonders! Suddenly, you literally feel your brain producing all of these positive neurotransmitters and youre flooded with positivity rather than anxiety.
Stay golden, ⭐️
I'm still looking for a job, and my anxiety makes me soo nervous about everything involved in that. I just wanted to tell you that you and I are both gonna do great, even if we aren't 100% sure of ourselves X) good luck out there, in school and in work!
@indigoJet762 you know what? we are! good luck on the job hunt. what type of job are you looking for, may i ask?
@renzen Anything that'll pay! I don't have a car, so I applied pretty much everywhere within biking distance of my house
@renzen
Social Anxiety always gets to me when I'm meeting new people. I usually take about a week to warm up. Usually at new jobs, telling others you're new will only welcome encouragement and support from them. It is only your first week, none of us would be able to be perfect in a position on the first day of work. Give yourself some credit that you made it this far (getting hired at your favorite restaurant, getting more support from co-workers).
Taking deep breaths sure help calm the nerves. With you degree in Music, I'd like to suggest, maybe if you get a chance for a short break in between greeting customers; take the time to think of a soothing piece of music you've done during school, and maybe hum it, or even just thinking about it might calm yourself too.
For myself, I usually start thinking of my favorite songs when I get nervous, and then, I just start smiling (looking like some crazy person). But it makes me feel more confident and comfortable in my own shoes.
I hope I made sense!~
