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Have social anxiety or maybe not....

sewest82 April 23rd, 2016

I feel like I have a form of social anxiety. I don't like to places that I might see people I know or even acquaintances. Sometimes I avoid this but other times I go to where I need to even if it means running into a familiar face.

I'm also kind of a loner. I like my alone time. I'm starting to get the itch to break out of my shell. I want to be more social. I feel its time to make changes.

10
April 23rd, 2016

@sewest82

Being able to be comfortable with yourself alone is a strength, not a weakness.

If you desire to be more sociable you may want to set some realistic, doable goals. Examine where you are and where you want to be in, let's say, 6 months. Look at a calendar and maybe work backward until you get to next week.

Maybe your goal for a few weeks is to call one person to make plans. If you meet that goal, treat yourself to a latte, or some nice tea, or a fancy soap. Then move on.

If, for some reason you are unable to meet that goal, just try again. You make the decisions of where you want to be and when.

Be patient with yourself! Be kind to yourself. Show yourself compassion!

Clouder April 26th, 2016

@sewest82

I think @JeffWM has put it really well. Choosing to spend a lot of time alone is absolutely fine. If everyone felt compelled to be the life of the party, the world would be a pretty hectic place! That being said, if you feel like making some changes and being more social, @JeffWM has outlined some really good ways of doing that :)

5 replies
sewest82 OP April 26th, 2016

@Clouder It's easier said then done. I'm very selective about people.

4 replies
April 28th, 2016

@sewest82

It's much easier said than done! You control how much, and how far you go at each step and what you consider successful.

2 replies
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Daydreamer47 May 4th, 2016

@sewest82 yeah me too. i also found that structured groups around a common interest help a lot like book club (especially if specific to political, religious, philosophical values you have) where the people there are likely aligned with you and you just talk about the book.

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Daydreamer47 May 4th, 2016

@sewest82 Yayyy welcome shy person!!! <3 <3 I have this too, especially if my crush is in the building haha arghh

2 replies
sewest82 OP May 6th, 2016

@Daydreamer47 I consider myself borderline shy. I have my moments where I feel small but I also have my moments where you wouldn't know I was a shy person at all.

1 reply
Daydreamer47 May 6th, 2016

@sewest82 well it's up to you how you want to "identify" I guess. I think that's quite normal to be a little bit of both.

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