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Avoiding but wanting to socialize

Lilyhux April 11th, 2021

Does anyone feel this way, like I am most peaceful alone, but it feels so lonely. I can't also explain why I tend to build this wall. I don't want anyone to know me, but I want connections and friends. I know I can't form relationships without sharing about me, but I fear being known and noticed. How do I live more freely :((

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Eudaimonia99 May 12th, 2021

@Lilyhux

It is hard to cope with this social anxiety spiral. The truth is avoidance is the beginning of the spiral. The first time you avoid it, it seems to make you feel better, but it also creates more fear for the next time when you need to face it.

1 reply
Lilyhux OP May 12th, 2021

That's right, and I can't get out of the spiral. I avoid by overworking, so that I'm occupied even when lonely 😓 Do you have any tips how to stop avoiding it? :(

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alwaysindigo May 13th, 2021

@Lilyhux I can relate and I'm so sorry we both have to go through this, but at least you're not alone ❤️

thoughtfulComputer9328 May 13th, 2021

update for me, i had the opportunity to introduce and meet peeps online and im too scared to contact em/ introduce myself. Idk why but im so paranoid, im so anxious.

2 replies
thoughtfulComputer9328 May 13th, 2021

@thoughtfulComputer9328

But i did go ahead and take a leap, im just scared yknow. I don't know whats the right way or not, or if i should or shouldn't.

1 reply
Lilyhux OP May 16th, 2021

That's nice! I hope I and the people here also get to take a leap, like you did. I think what's right is the one that will take you a step closer to improving, even if it seems awkward or hard.

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giggleReeds3105 May 13th, 2021

@Lilyhux: Actually I do have S.A but m also kinda happy alone...

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Lilyhux OP May 16th, 2021

Good! Often I feel sad and lonely, but recently I've been feeling like what you said, maybe because being alone can also recharge me. Quality time with self :>

1 reply
giggleReeds3105 May 16th, 2021

@Lilyhux: It's good to know that u're free of drama!

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bamgongi May 14th, 2021

I want to be alone because I suck at conversations. But I am so lonley too. I just go shopping alone. I wish things other than socializing fullfills me. I just spend time alone.

1 reply
giggleReeds3105 May 16th, 2021

@bamgongi: Pls use 7 Cups fr that...esp the community chat rooms are great fr finding like-minded ppl...

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Daydreamer47 May 16th, 2021

@Lilyhux Hi, I relate to your experience a lot, especially in terms of bigger groups and parties. I agree with others to take baby steps and maybe start with something that is not the deep end. I know for myself more personal relationships and big groups are the worst for me, so I can start with small things like playing words with friends or a one-on-one walk with someone. I finally found a good counselor who is helping with these types of goals.

mirror4 May 16th, 2021

I have never related to anything more. All the friendships I have now formed by just seeing each other everyday for years and they also only know one side of me. If I meet somebody new I can barely say anything without them talking to me first because I don’t want them to not like me and I don’t want to seem annoying.

WittyCar0607 May 16th, 2021

i can relate. i want to have friends but im so scared of going out or meet new people. when i have to "talk" to someone for any reason i get nervous and exhausted