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WittyCar0607
1,871 M Hopeful Heart 1
PathStep 78 Compassion hearts358 Forum posts34 Forum upvotes53 Current upvotes53 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2022 Member sinceMay 15, 2021
Recent forum posts
loneliness
Depression Support / by WittyCar0607
Last post
 May 13th, 2022
...See more i always say that i like being alone but it's a lie. i'd love to have somebody in my life but i can't imagine someone being genuinely happy to see me, someone who think about me when they see a pic or a funny video, someone who genuinely cares or genuinely likes my company. i "like" being alone because when I'm with others i feel left out. I am left out. i'm not anybody's first choice, always the third wheel, always the burden, always the black sheep. the only safe place i have is my mind (which is also my worst enemy) that comes up with fake scenarios in which i feel normal and wanted. fake scenarios are my coping mechanism and i do automatically. when i realize what I'm doing i feel extremely bad and sick in the head. I've always been like this but lately is worse than ever because it is affecting everything. i can't do my work done because I can't focus anymore. i start doing what i have to do and then realize I've been daydreaming for 1 hour straight without realizing it. it's so hard to keep going and I don't know how to ask for help. i have no friends and I'd be way too ashamed to open up to my family, but they wouldn't understand anyway so
anxiety attacks
Anxiety Support / by WittyCar0607
Last post
 May 14th, 2022
...See more i had 4 panic/anxiety attacks in two weeks. it never happened before. they were scary. i was scared. i have nobody and im afraid ill get sick because of them. when I'm not anxious I'm depressed and i dont know what to do. i don't know how to get out of this loop
just a burden
Depression Support / by WittyCar0607
Last post
 April 27th
...See more my mom (talking about my brother's ex) says that people with depression anxiety etc shouldn't stay with other people because they tend to drain their energies and ruin partners and friends. she didn't realize how much she hurted me because I'm the one with depression I'm the one with anxiety and I'm the one who struggles with this kind of problems and now im so fucking scared that without even knowing it people around me have been feeling drained because of me all this time and maybe it's the reason because i have no friends. also she says that people like that are just bad because someone with real mental issues is aware of it and so proceed to see a therapist or something to feel better, while bad people just like to make others feeling as bad as them. i know it's not true because it's been so long that i wanted to see a therapist but I'm so scared of it and i cant make this fucking step but what if she's right I'm just a burden to everyone i don't deserve to love and to be loved
tired
Depression Support / by WittyCar0607
Last post
 June 7th, 2021
...See more i'm so fucking tired of everything. this morning i was feeling kinda good and i started cleaning my room while listening to some music and then in just one second my mind said "stop" and now i feel so bad, stressed, sad, overwhelmed and lonely and i hate it so bad because i have no reason to feel this way. my family and i have good health which is the most important thing and i feel like shit when i feel this ungrateful to life because there are people dying out there. who am i to complain about life? im so scared that ill die with regrets and thinking "i wasted my life" but i cant do anything to improve my situation. I'm so tired tired tired i just want to stop this fucking time and wake up with lots of energies and start a happy life but i fucking can't. why am i like this why am i so ungrateful even tho I'm aware I'm so privileged? i fucking hate myself im disgusted i deserve NOTHING
I'm unable to be happy
Depression Support / by WittyCar0607
Last post
 May 31st, 2021
...See more why am i not happy? i have a supportive family, good health, a house and food and everything. but still, I'm not happy. i mean... I'm happy of everything i mentioned before because i know that not everyone is as lucky as me, but at the same time i feel like something's missing and it sucks so bad because i want to appreciate life and everything but I just can't do that. i feel so bad when i think about it, because i know I'm lucky and should be grateful but it's so difficult and when i try to have a positive attitude I just feel like I'm lying to myself and i don't know what to do
Are you happy?
Mindfulness Center / by WittyCar0607
Last post
 August 8th, 2021
...See more why? why not? if you had one message to tell the world, what would it be?
i failed again
Depression Support / by WittyCar0607
Last post
 May 22nd, 2021
...See more i felt so ready to meet a therapist for the first time after years but then i started panicking and now im right back to square one. im such a disappointment to myself i cant believe i ruined everything again. i really thought that i was finally ready and genuinely happy about it but look at me now. foolish me for overstimating myself. ill never get out of this loop
how did your first meeting with the psychologist go?
7 Cups Online Therapy / by WittyCar0607
Last post
 May 20th, 2021
...See more hi everyone, i may have social anxiety and i really really need to see a psychologist because i don't wanna live like this anymore. i booked a session yesterday afternoon because i felt so strong and ready but now (he sent me an email to decide day and time) I'm panicking and i feel like I'm a disappointment to myself. how was your first time with a therapist? were you scared? how did you overcome this fear?
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