tough work day
i had a tough day. i think im becoming a horrible and angry person. and my students dont listen to me! i wish i could quit. i dont know what to do with a kid that keeps on getting out of his seat or writes F you on his paper!!! i sent him to the principal. of course he never went!
im just done! i cant scream anymore! i cant be such a tough person! they probably think im this angry nut head. i keep on comparing myself to every body else and see how much better they are than me. i feel like i dont have any skills. and sometimes, the worst feeling is : feeling like somethings wrong with me. Like im not normal. Like im missing something that everybody has.
@jotee
Thank you for sharing your situation with us. Teachers are one of the most underpaid and underappreciated professions ever. There is nothing wrong with you...it is just wearing you down. I'm glad you came here to vent and let these feelings out. Sending you positive vibes for strength and peace...just know that we appreciate you for educating our children!
I feel exactly the same. Like something is wrong with me. I tell people all the time that I don't think like them, sorry. Are you diagnosed with anything? I have Borderline Personality Disorder. It sounds really scary, but if you have it then that missing piece has been found! The only down fall is there isn't medication only therapy to cure it. And I mean ..... a lot. Lol
hi @LayneGirl. thanks for your post. no i am not diagnosed with anything. i am in therapy so if my therapist would think i have a mental issue, shed order an evaluation. i dont think this feeling of missing something that every body has is exclusive to bpd. i think its a self esteem issue. cuz deep down we both know that there is nothing wrong with us, and every body has their own struggles and challenges in life. we think we are the only one, but every body has some kind of issue. so, yes this feeling is still there and it hurts. but it isn't necessarily true. thanks for sharing. it feels good to know youre not the only one.
about your bpd, i hope you are in therapy. its a lot of work, but you can do it! you can get better! many people have gotten well and it might not take that long. im sure you can see a big difference after a year of therapy!
your fellow sufferer š Jo
I've been going to Therapy since 2008 and haven't really seen much progress. I think now that I know more about my diagnosis it will help me more forward!
i want to update.
i was in one of my worst moods when i posted this. usually im good. i love my job and love my kids so much, it hurts. sometimes i have a tough day and every thing looks bleak.
i wanted to share that today i was talking tough to a kid because its the only way he listens. and this 7 year old boy started crying!!! i cant handle this!!! im crying now for being such a mean person. i feel like im being like my father. that im killing him. but honestly i just yelled at him. i need to find a better way of dealing with him. i will speak to the other teacher and his social worker about this.
this is the problem of people with messed up childhoods. they don't know how to be tough and discipline, and when they do, they are so sensitive. they're terrified of acting even slightly close to the person who hurt them as a child. my boy probably forgot about this by now, and im thinking that he was hurt more than he actually feels hurt. lol.
@jotee
I do understand and feel for you. You have a tough job as you are creating the youth of tomorrow today. Many people could not do what you do, so please pat yourself on the back.
When I have an episode that puts me in that kind of a bind, I try to step back for a moment, take a deep breath and say: this will pass." Of course, that works for me, but you are in a different situation. Perhaps you can talk to a confidential colleague and ask them how they dealt with it.
Another might be to engage in a hobby you've always thought about but never got into. I find that gives me something to look forward to after the workday is over. Your thoughts? Once again, thank you for engaging in a tough job - one most people could not do!
Hi all I wanted to add to this post and share some of my emotional difficulties that affect me as a teacher.
Today I had a tough moment at work. The classroom was getting a bit noisy, and everybody wanted fidget toys and breaks. I was so mad! So angry! I wanted to scream! I went to my desk for a moment just to breathe. Right then and there I told myself "calm down. You donāt want to be like some angry people you know. People who explode their anger onto others like your father. Wait a moment you can handle this calmly. No reason to get frustrated." And it helped. Being calm helped me get through that moment much better than if I had allowed the anger to control me.
@jotee
Hi Jotee
Thank you a lot for sharing your situation and feeling with us here. There is nothing wrong with you, and you are really appreciated for the huge effort you do to teach kids. I know Teaching kids and dealing with each of them who has different personalities is not easy. Talking about it shows how good a teacher you are that you care about being a good one. Sending you support and appreciation.
@jotee Hi. I'm glad you are able to share your frustration on here. There is nothing wrong with venting and getting things off your chest. It's very healthy. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I hope you can talk to someone about how you are feeling and maybe you can take action. Sending love. You can always talk to a listener if you need someone to talk to. Take care!