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jotee
494 M Embraced 4
PathStep 21 Compassion hearts26 Forum posts52 Forum upvotes57 Current upvotes57 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2023 Member sinceOctober 25, 2021
Recent forum posts
gaslighting definition
Trauma Support / by jotee
Last post
 December 8th, 2021
...See more Hi all. I've been looking at my past diary entries, and realized how much i was hurt. i forgot. I wrote how a family member pretended i said i wanted to have a certain occupation. she made fun of me for it. she had a whole scorning motion to say it with. No matter how many times i yelled "i never said that", didnt help. she yelled over me and my words were getting stuck in my throat. It wasnt the first time she ridiculed me for it. she was trying to convince me and every one in my family that i said i wanted that occupation. this was just one episode of how she bullied me/ verbally abused me. in fact, before and after this she did many other horrible things. ive been wondering if this event can be considered gas lighting. Because she was trying to convince me something that wasnt true. i think that getting words and terms for things that happened to you is empowering. like abuse, bullying... im wondering if i can add this term too. ❤️Jo
does this happen to you? parent gossiping about children?
Trauma Support / by jotee
Last post
 April 28th, 2023
...See more hey guys! my family is so toxic!!! It's mainly my father and everything my siblings do is learned from him. would you ever see a man talk to his son about another son? and then talk about that son to a different family member??? it'll go in circles! he tells me that 2 of my siblings are crazy. then he tells another sibling that I am crazy! he loves doing this. like he wants his children to hate each other??? or he'd "hire" one of his kids to talk to another sibling about how crazy they are for doing... and nobody likes them and they're weird, and nobody will marry them... hell prep the child on things to say and then listen under to hear the conversation. He'd also do it straight. tell his kid straight to their face that they are fat/weird/crazy/stupid... I can't handle this abuse!!! this is messed up!!!! he's such a 2 facer!!! btw, this is only one of the things he does! I'm only living at home for financial reasons. I'm starting to wonder if it's even worth it. maybe I should spend my entire paycheck by moving out and having to pay rent? does anybody have a name for this sort of behavior? does anybody have a similar family situation? 😥Jo
turning a negative thought into positive
Anxiety Support / by jotee
Last post
 November 19th, 2021
...See more Hi guys! i recently posted that i was having issues with my identity. i wrote that "i feel like im missing something (emotionally) that everybody has." i went through this thought with my therapist and came to the conclusion that its not everybody, its most people. Today, i realized that its not a negative thing! i realized that this allows me to understand and help others in a similar situation. I'm not the only one that has emotional difficulties! i can help people with low self esteem like me! i can help people with anxiety like me! My difficulties will not hinder me in life. Yes i have to work on those issues. But, I can reach to greater places than other people because of it. ❤️ Jo
attachment issues
Trauma Support / by jotee
Last post
 November 11th, 2021
...See more hey all! one of my friends pointed out that whenever we hug, i always come fully open arms, but then when i get to her, i move away, only providing a half hug. its not only with her. i noticed in pictures with friends that i never come close enough to them. most people do, but i cant. i almost never initiate a hug. my parents were not physically affectionate, not verbally either. i never got hugs after preschool age. i dont know how to be physically close to people because of that. its not that i dont want to. its just i dont know how. im fine with little kids, but adults? forget it!!!! do you feel the same? any ideas? 😍 Jo
afraid of being like my abusive parent
Trauma Support / by jotee
Last post
 October 3rd, 2022
...See more guys any of you had abusive parents? what type of parent are you? whenever i have to be tough on a kid, i feel like im killing them. im HYPER sensitive. i dont like being in a leadership position, but i dont like having anybody on top of me. i have a hard time telling kids no. if i discipline a child, i feel horrible. im afraid of being like one of my parents. i dont know what is the right balance of love vs. toughness. i think im gonna have this problem my whole life. do any of you have this? 😕 Jo
tough work day
Anxiety Support / by jotee
Last post
 December 23rd, 2021
...See more i had a tough day. i think im becoming a horrible and angry person. and my students dont listen to me! i wish i could quit. i dont know what to do with a kid that keeps on getting out of his seat or writes F you on his paper!!! i sent him to the principal. of course he never went! im just done! i cant scream anymore! i cant be such a tough person! they probably think im this angry nut head. i keep on comparing myself to every body else and see how much better they are than me. i feel like i dont have any skills. and sometimes, the worst feeling is : feeling like somethings wrong with me. Like im not normal. Like im missing something that everybody has.
healing through filling the needs you have been denied by granting it to others
Trauma Support / by jotee
Last post
 November 12th, 2021
...See more hi everybody! I have had a tough childhood. I was emotionally neglected, had an abusive parent, was bullied by a family member for years... and I was all alone. I had no friends, no mentors, or people to take care of me. I wished all that time that somebody would come and take care of me. But nobody came. I grew older and started facing some issues head-on. Learned how to make friends, found support from them and a therapist. Learned how to stick up for myself and stopped believing the lies my bully made me believe about myself. But I still needed somebody to love me. Sometimes I feel like nobody really really loves me. I need somebody to hug me, care for me. I just need love. Now I'm an adult, and in my career as a teacher, I can help children. When I help my kids with their emotions, solve their problems, stop them from being bullied, take care of them in pain, protect them, hug them, love them... It just heals me! From growing up and feeling unloved, being neglected emotionally, scared, hurt physically and emotionally, unsafe, bullied, afraid, anxious, angry... This need to be loved is being filled by loving others. It makes me whole. When I help my students wipe their tears, it fills this need. I feel loved. by doing the things that I needed most, I am healing from the pain. sorry my story is long. just wanted to share this because this might help you heal. ❤️ Jo
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