thinking of giving up on college (for now)
Hi everyone! Like many other people, 2020 has thrown me a lot of curveballs.
I'm 19 and have been going to community college and living with my parents, and I've taken enough credits to get my associates and to transfer to a 4 year university to get my bachelor's degree- I need to make the decision NOW of whether to apply to schools or not. But I really am not doing so well mentally. I have no motivation, and hardly remember things in my classes. Though I've been doing well in school (as far as grades), this semester I feel like I've been spiralling.
Paired with that, I have severe anxiety, and get anxious to go to the grocery store- let alone moving out. Everyone is expecting me to transfer and complete my degree as fast as I can based on my grades, but I just... can't even summon the energy to get out of bed sometimes. Especially since everything is online, I just feel so alone, especially with the whole transfer process- and though I had big dreams and DO NOT want to give up on my education, I feel like I'm going nowhere in life. I have literally nothing to put on my applications besides the fact that I got a good GPA and I've been working- I never did clubs, I never made any friends, and I'm constantly feeling like I've made a poor decision.
Anyway, I'm considering just turning into a part-time student at my community college for next year and take more classes there, picking up another job, and getting some therapy.
I just don't want to be that kid that stays at home with the parents forever, but I honestly don't know how I'm going to get through the next year. I feel like if I go to another expensive university, I'm just going to keep forcing myself to push through all of this anxiety without really dealing with it.
Anyway... thoughts? I honestly am happy with any sort of feedback. :)
-Emeri
@emerijourney
I think you have a solid grasp of who you are, what you're feeling, and what you need to do next. Things are tough now. And weird. Really weird. And nothing feels exactly right.
If you're not ready to transfer to a university, don't. Are you paying for school? If so, it's completely your decision. Are your parents paying for school? If that's the case, I'd be very open with them. "With everything that's going on, I'm not in a good place to go to a university, and I don't want to jeopardize your money if I know I can't apply myself 100%."
It's incredibly mature to know you're not quite ready to move out and head off on your own. You do know you want to, but right now it doesn't feel right. Will your parents understand you wanting to stay home for a little while longer?
@thoughtfulmomma Thanks so much for this reply! Yeah, I'm paying for college myself. My parents really are excited for me to get my degree, but I ended up explaining to them that I needed another year to work on being more financially stable and they understood. :) I appreciate the help!
@emerijourney
It's great to hear that your parents are supportive. You're doing the right thing and you're making smart decisions. GREAT JOB!
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