What do i show?

@Greenapple1

What kind of thoughts do you have? You are not a bad or evil person. If you are having violent thoughts, then it might be coming from wrongful things done to you or perhaps things you have observed on the computer or television. To some extent, you can't control your thoughts; just like normal, you can't control your dreams to 100%. It's your actions that count and less so your thoughts. If you do not act on bad thoughts, then you are not a bad person. If you act on the bad thoughts, then consider speaking to a therapist to get help.

You sound like a conscientious person that is growing up that has unwelcome thoughts that lead to depression. Guided meditation helps me. I recommend looking at youtube for some good guided meditations. You can 'train' your mind to think of other things, more peaceful things to some extent.

@Darkseed

These thoughts consist of bad actions, shameful even,( no pedo stuff lol.. Never that). Most importantly Blasphemy. I feel like what if i mean these things. I don't really know if i dont or not. But i cry every time i talk to people about it. I don't want to mean it. But i dont even know my OWN intentions. I can't trust myself.

Plus i always ruin everything. Every time i have peace in my life. Something messes it up. I Prabably lost myself in this depression.

@Greenapple1

Please take a moment to breathe. You are not a bad person. You can work to control your thoughts, and you can have a more peaceful future. No one can read your thoughts, and if you don't share them, no one else will know or be affected by them. A therapist could help with techniques that can work to give you more peaceful thinking.