Playing the waiting game

Update: I got a response but it was a no. Trying again hurts again but not as much as the 1st because it was expected. I guess some people just like to share their stories and not really want to be your friend or just want to enjoy the moment and don't care to see you again. Strange it is.

@Temesgen9

Hey there, its unfortunate you didn't get the response you expected. You mentioned wanting to mend a broken friendship, what happened?

@freshLight64 what happened was I met a stranger on vacation who overwhelmed me with hospitality. We became friends after that and stayed in contact through email. We just have totally opposite attachment styles and it became toxic. After learning about the different attachment styles I wanted to change from my end and make it work. But even then another try wasn't accepted.

@Temesgen9

what happened was I met a stranger on vacation who overwhelmed me with hospitality. (This kind of sounds like this person had a lot of anxiety and was giving you what they didn't get growing up. This also means he was desperate for a connection) We became friends after that and stayed in contact through email. We just have totally opposite attachment styles and it became toxic. (It must had been tough when the attachment trauma and connection play a role into what happened. Im guessing the other person became distant which made you try to close the gap?) After learning about the different attachment styles I wanted to change from my end and make it work.(I can see what lead you to want this, specially when this person seemed special to you. What will you do now?) But even then another try wasn't accepted.

@freshLight64

Very nice evaluation. Now I have to forget this person since they are not interested in connecting with me. And in the future I will be careful not to get attached too soon.

@Temesgen9

Forgetting this person will take time, but it's important to rush this process. I feel like this is something you needed to go through on order to know things about yourself, and how to handle future situations.

@freshLight64 I see you are listener. Thank you for all your support. Based on your understanding/knowledge what is your advice for me going forward?

@Temesgen9

I think its really important to get curious about the reason you get attached to people too soon. i believe its a projection of unmet needs, so it will get you attach to them soon on an effort to get those unmet needs met, and then they become an object not an actual person. I would recommend taking a closer look at your childhood, checking out Craig Kenneth videos and slowly becoming more secure about yourself.

@freshLight64 thank you, I have looked closer and found that I have a narcissist mother. I have done a very good job of avoiding people who may be narcissistic but an avoidant attachment style person was news to me. This one hit me quite hard. I am lucky it was for a short 2mo friendship. I thought this friend was like a mother to me in the end because my mother didn't care that much for me.