Making and Maintaining Friends
I recently made a new friend. Her name is Kennedy. She became my friend a little after school started, so we've been friends for about 3 months but I have such a hard time trusting people (as I'm sure many do) so it takes me a long time for me to be able to fully trust someone. I'm quite paranoid about people, actually. Kennedy asked me to be her girlfriend after the first month of being friends, so as a result the process of trusting her has slowed quite considerably. She continues to ask me to go places with her, as a friend though, but it just makes me uncomfortable because I am very anxious about actually going out and being a functioning member of society. She doesn't understand this. I am so incapable of communicating my feelings to other people that I very likely will lie to her in order to get out of going to this event with her. I just don't trust her, but she trusts me and it's giving me so much anxiety... And then there's the crippling depression that I feel every day when I have a moment to think. I just want to lay in bed all day and watch Netflix and stay at home, but She just keeps asking me to go places with her. Is this what having a real friend is like???
I don't know how I can possibly trust someone within three months when I've spent my entire life with my family and I barely trust them!
I'm sorry if my thoughts aren't cohesive or concise in any way, shape, or form, but again, I'm not very good at communicating my feelings...
Have you tried discussing this all with her? I mean communication is pretty important. As for the question of what friends are really like...idk, I've never had much luck with them, but I'm pretty sure they're not supposed to just drag you around. I mean there's nothing wrong with going places and there's also nothing wrong with just staying at home. It just sounds like you two want very different things. Although I will say it might be near impossible to find someone with common interests. Idk.
@Phthalo
I was thinking the same thoughts Halo. My anxiety gets my brain to think very weird when it comes to making friends. But I am firm on communication
I feel so lonely...In a room full of people I do not feel a connection with anyone. And I'm almost invisible. I've tested this I speak and no one hears me.
I never have. Anything to say or anything skill to contribute and if I do I'm petalysed by anxiety and a feeling of inferiority or uncertainty that holds me back inside I long to be a part of something to grow and become more I feel such strength inside of me there is a Mr crying out for friendship, companionship to be included and accepted with out feeling as elf conscious or quilt. To just know that I have the right to say ....
I feel depleted and I am holding back tears tears for the pain that is my envelops me and restrains me...
@Demiana364 I feel exactly the same way. I have always felt like the invisible one. I've done the same thing too. Talk to the room and nobody notices or listens. It's a terrible feeling.
You should tell her.
I have the exact same problem with my friend (the one that I consider an actual one and therefore my first one).
He has been very understanding, even to the point of enduring my shenanigans and sometimes putting me in place when I need. But that wouldn't have been possible if I didn't started to talk to him about my issues and what I really think of everything to the point of saying I don't trust him and that I don't feel emotions towards people anymore. He just understood and would make me laugh and be with me anyways because he knows is not all the time either.
I do things for him too. I try to take care of him and listen to his problems and help him in whatever I can. But it's almost a non said agreement between the two. He helps me and I help him and we both listen.
Risk it. You've got more to loose if you don't do it because you may never know what it could have been
Because of my social anxiety I have no friends. I cant keep friends or make friends. I am just too afraid to talk to anyone. Yesterday I was woken up by fear because I realised that it is always going to be this way. Even when I will go to college next year or job this year. It's terrifying. I was never able to make friends, since I was a kid..
@unkn0wnanon
I feel the exact same way. Its really hard sometimes.
@unkn0wnanon
Couldnt have said it better
@MewThirdWheel
Hi, I totally can relate. This is a good post. I have major trust issues. Thought I could trust my therapist but after Wed and Fri last week he needs to regain that trust and earn that back if he ever does since he breaks the trust way to many times with me.
Hi im courtney im looking for to meet new friends all my friends are out of town or too far away
There needs to be a thread on how to keep an MD and make them work and do there job!!!
I really wish I could make friends but social anxiety prevents that from happening. I haven
