I've literally worried myself sick.
I've had a serious anxiety disorder all my life, and up until about three years ago, my symptoms have been pretty normal (racing heart, occasional stomachache, etc.). But then something weird and distressing happened. Light started to hurt my eyes way more than it should, and now I have to wear heavy sunglasses every day (I think it's worth noting that I'm autistic in the first place, but my struggles with light used to be infrequent). Then, after that, I started throwing up under pressure. Sometimes, I would throw up under mild pressure. And then the chronic nausea issue got so bad that most foods make me sick now - including nearly every kind of meat. I've ruled out a ton of possible medical records for this, and I really feel as if my anxiety is the root cause of this mess. And I'm really upset by that. Because I feel that I should somehow be able to control the disorder out of sheer willpower.
I'm working with a counselor on this issue, and I'm really doing a lot of emotional work on myself. I'll continue to look for answers. What I feed like I need from this community here is validation. I'm not the only one who has accidentally damaged
their health with their anxiety in a big way, right? I'm feeling very alone.
I’m here for you! We have to stay strong together! I have a lot of anxiety and depressive episodes also. Message me anytime! ❤️ Sending healing and good energy to you.
Hare Krishna… a blessing from my faith to yours ❤️
Although I’m not autistic (might be adhd) when my anxiety was at its worst, sensory overwhelm definitely became more of a thing, I couldn’t spend a long time with computers or watch TV with sound on because I’d feel nausea.And I’d lose most of my appetite. When you’re in a fight/flight state the body doesn’t want to eat or digest anything. It’s worth noting that these are anxiety symptoms in themselves and not necessarily signs that you’ve developed a more serious problem. Of course, being anxious over the long term isn’t great for anyone’s health. Even if you can’t control the anxiety, your body needs rest to recover and metabolise the stress hormones, etc. Good health habits may not cure anxiety but can definitely mitigate them.
I understand that you feel upset about being able to keep a handle on anxiety. One thing I’ve learned is that controlling it with willpower doesn’t work in the long term. But that’s what most people do at first. I struggled to keep a lid on my anxiety and keep people from knowing about it for years and years. The anxiety got worse and hampered more and more of my life. You sound like a conscientious person and I’m really glad you’re seeking help and working on yourself, but don’t blame yourself or feel like you did it to yourself, too many people feel like that when they couldn’t have known. Anxiety works in many counter-intuitive ways.
I was recently reading ‘Liberated Mind’ by Steven Hayes (founder of ACT) and he describes how perfectionism and avoiding anxiety triggers just made his life smaller and anxiety worse. The book also offers exercises to help. I’m still making my way through it but have already found that observing one’s anxiety while it’s happening it (rather than controlling or fighting it) does seem to help.
You’re definitely not alone and don’t need to be so hard on yourself. Sending you a virtual hug (cos I know autistic people don’t always like real ones haha). Wishing you lots of luck in your efforts to work on yourself.
@pinkbunnywabbit hi, i'm sorry to hear you had health problems related to your anxiety and i can totally relate, in 2020 i started to have panic attacks and i had a lot of physical symptoms related to my anxiety. It first started with racing heart and high blood pressure, a pain in the chest and then they evolved with stomach problems. i went to hospitals, but everything was ok. It took me 6 months to figure it out that it was anxiety, i explored all stomach problems that i encountered online. But the good part is after therapy, the anxiety started to decrease and i could eat as before and feel better physically. So you are not alone, anxiety can cause physical problems, but be sure that they will disappear when we tackle the main cause. take care!
