I'm drowning. I'm defeated

Im so scared all the time and Im always worrying. I lie awake at night with a million thoughts running through my head. I want to just quit. Everything is so hard right now. My grades are going down and my mom wants me to get a job during the summer, but the training is so hard. Im always doubting myself too. I just get scared about literally everything even if it doesnt matter. And when things get too overwhelming, I shut down mentally. Well, with the training and school and everything, I feel like Im about to shut down. Its all just too much and I just want to relax, but Im getting up early and going to bed late and constantly worrying.

Im drowning.

I feel like I need to be constantly happy and get all my stuff done with no problems, but Im always one step behind everyone else if not more. Im so tired! I dont want to do this anymore but I get to scared to tell anyone how I feel!! Everything just seems so hard. All my problems seem so pathetic and I don't know why I'm constantly feeling this way. For some reason I get so angry about everything and then I'm just sad and I just go down, down, down.........

Im defeated.