Hey everyone
I'm not sure if I have anxiety or not... in college, my guidance counselor recommended I see a therapist to get diagnosed but I never did. I definitely struggle with depression... I feel like I'm always on high alert... I mean, I go through some shit with my fiance... he's very controlling and has anger issues so he doesnt help at all in this. But aside from that, I feel like I constantly annoy people... and I don't do well in large groups... in a group of 3 or more people, I rather would observe than say anything for fear of sounding stupid... I don't know how to explain it but sometimes I get really bad chest pain... like someone punched me in the chest and this is the aftermath of that pain... if that makes sense.
@whyohwhy95137
Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;
I'm not sure if I have anxiety or not... in college, my guidance counselor recommended I see a therapist to get diagnosed but I never did. (I feel it would be a better idea to see a therapist, they will be able to give you a much better diagnose about your mental health. I can only speak from experience, what i have seen in me and learned from videos) I definitely struggle with depression... I feel like I'm always on high alert...(I have gone through this, its this similar to always finding certain details that something bad may happen or that you could be abandoned?) I mean, I go through some shit with my fiance...(It's not some, you are in a very toxic relationship that will affect your mental health and trigger past issues.) he's very controlling and has anger issues so he doesnt help at all in this. (The way he is controlling communicates he feels out of control inside and there's some insecurities inside that leads him to control. I would not be surprise that he uses his anger to manipulate you and to shut you down. This is not the kind of relationship that will help you grow, instead your anxiety will get worst.) But aside from that, I feel like I constantly annoy people...(If they were times you looked for support or to share how they feels, and they shut you down or made you feel ignored then you would end up feeling like you annoy people. This is a trigger from your past that takes over your present) and I don't do well in large groups... in a group of 3 or more people, I rather would observe than say anything for fear of sounding stupid... (I can completly relate to how this feels, its this fear inside that doesn't let you speak or do what you want. If people in your childhood made you feel silly, like you could be punished for expressing something or even dismissed what you feel or think then you would develop a fear expressing whats inside or fear to come off in a certain way) I don't know how to explain it but sometimes I get really bad chest pain... (Thats definetly a sign you could be in danger or that you are about to get punished whether is physical, emotional or being abandoned. This is more like anxiety and trauma form your past) like someone punched me in the chest and this is the aftermath of that pain... if that makes sense. (Did you went through physical abuse?)
@freshLight64
Hey, thanks for commenting.... and this part (If they were times you looked for support or to share how they feels, and they shut you down or made you feel ignored then you would end up feeling like you annoy people. This is a trigger from your past that takes over your present) that you said makes sense... everything I did/ do at present, one of my parents constantly makes fun of me and as an adult, I don't care, but maybe some of that is from my childhood... and as for being physically abused... I'm not sure. I don't think so. I know that sounds like a stupid answer but it was just little things. My stepmother slapped me a few times, but she did her best. I wasn't her real kid and I was a pain in the ass as a kid... (I acted out a lot bc of my parents rough divorce, I got better as I got older though) Also, my fiance has slapped and pushed me but there were a couple instances that concerned me more (I'm not sure what constitutes as sexual abuse... but if we're together, who'd believe me?) it's not something I can put on a public forum anyways...
Sorry I kind of rambled on lol
@whyohwhy95137
everything I did/ do at present, one of my parents constantly makes fun of me (This will definetly affects your self esteem, and then you will end up feeling inferior to the other person. This will also make you disconnect from your needs and want, and then you will feel like people will make fun of you the same way your parent did) and as an adult, I don't care, but maybe some of that is from my childhood...(Most of it comes from your childhood, and your interactions with family, friends and other social situations) and as for being physically abused... I'm not sure. I don't think so. I know that sounds like a stupid answer but it was just little things. My stepmother slapped me a few times, but she did her best. (You are minimizing the situation here, slapping you counts as physical abuse. She didn't have any right to slap you, even if you didn't behave well.) I wasn't her real kid and I was a pain in the ass as a kid...(You are minimizing the situation here because she probably made you feel guilty and that everything is your fault when is not. Kids are usually impulsive and narcissistic growing up because they don't know how else to behave. The caregivers are supposed to guide the child to a correct path such as explaining in a loving way why they shouldn't behave certain way, and then show them the correct behaviors) (I acted out a lot bc of my parents rough divorce, (Perfectly normal you would act out because every child want their parents together, and a separation impacts them heavily specially when its a rough divorce. This is where children needs a lot of love, understanding, compassion and empathy from the people around them) I got better as I got older though)(Im sure you did, but the trauma plays out often in the back of your mind) Also, my fiance has slapped and pushed me but there were a couple instances that concerned me more (Your fiance is abusive, toxic, manipulative, controlling and physicall abuses you. This is a toxic relationship you are in where everything is about him while your needs are second. This relationship should definetly end for your own well being and mental health) (I'm not sure what constitutes as sexual abuse... but if we're together, who'd believe me?) (Sexual abuse can also occur in relationships. You could be married or in a relationship, but you still have the right to say no and turn down an intimacy act, and if the other partner doesn't stop then its sexual abuse) it's not something I can put on a public forum anyways... (But it can be informed to the police)