Feeling so down!
Hi everyone,
Just coming here to vent so don't feel the need to respond.... Here goes. These past few days have been incredibly hard for me. Everytime something good happens and I find myself being happy it quickly gets shut down. All the bad happens so quickly that I feel as though I lose control of my emotions. I lately have been more depressed than anxious. I don't feel like myself. I have been sleeping more than usual, I feel off and have very little emotion at this point. Yesterday was the worst of them all and I was hoping today would be better. I woke up and felt like meh. I just vomitted which is usually due to anxiety. I am mad at myself because I have been doing so well with not getting sick with that and then out of nowhere the pit of my stomach felt very uncomfortable then boom! Now as I sit here typing this I just feel out of it and still sick to my stomach. The thing is even with everything on my mind I wasn't thinking of anything.... Has anything like this happened to anybody where you get really anxious but can't pinpoint why? I am just getting so sick of this. Everybody says just be happy and think positive but on a whole I am a positive happy person except when I am home. I am so down on my luck and just feel like I could curl up in a bawl and cry forever. I have a month in and half before school starts and I want to get prepared for it but with no help I can't get anywhere. I say this because I am missing key components and nobody will offer to help. I CAN'T do anything right even when I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. I am getting sick of people just telling me well then its your life do what you want. I get that and I want to but that is EASIER said than DONE! With support maybe it would be easier but if I do what I want I know I will be kicked out, living on my own, no school. phone etc. I am independent person but not financially stable yet. Sorry for this long rant but I am going absolutely crazy!
@fighter23
hello!! first of all, please don't be sorry; you deserve every right to vent and rant and yell and reach out for help, because you're human and at the end we can't put down everything we want to if not for a little help. you're here and you're brave and you're reaching out for help and there's honestly something so incredible about that!! also, your username is absolutely gold; i hope you continue to do what it says!
basically, you struggle with staying happy and feel that everyone around you isn't quite supportive, is that right? i'm really sorry everyone seems to be so harsh; sometimes people just don't understand, but we have to be the best we can be with or without them, though it's so much harder without some support. you sound like you're quite lonely -- especially as you mentioned that this happens when you're at home -- and that you need people who will support and care for you, correct? if that's the case, would you consider trying that here on 7cups? you can try joining group chats, group discussions, participate in forums, talk to listeners, etc. i can't guarantee that it will always be a good day, but generally you will always find people that care here!! if you'd prefer you can even talk to me; while i'm not a listener i'd definitely be open to creating a forum thread for the two of us to talk :) also, here are four sub-communities here that may help you: anxiety support, depression support, relationship support, and loneliness support. i'm not saying you have any of those, but perhaps you will find people here that understand since they seem to be the closest to what you're dealing with!
if you'd prefer i can even look at some websites online for you? just let me know; i'd be happy to help. thank you and i hope you have a great rest of week!
@windflowers Hi Flowers! Thank you for the reply. I really appreciated you reading my message and offering to help me out! I needed that for sure. My username serves as a reminder for everything I have done to get here and to remind me to keep going. Glad you found it suiting for me.
That's exactly right. Don't get me wrong I love being challenged and being able to prove to the world I can do things on my own, but this can only work to an extent. My mom is hiding my insurance card which I desperately need to get back into school and not have to pay $3 grand. I need to get a shot and can't do so because I just got added to this insurance and don't have the info. The only help I am asking for is for her to hand over the goddamn card or if she lost it tell me the insurance I have so I can call the company and get them to issue me a new one! I just need basic support and to know people care about me. I feel like I could disappear and no one would miss me. Let's just say it's an awful feeling.
I actually do struggle with depression and anxiety. Being home I have been incredibly lonely. I was actually checking out the relatioonship support forum today. The depression and anxiety one I am in and I will check out the loneliness one. Thanks!
What kind of websites were you thinking? Any help is greatly appreicated. I am willing to try anything! If you would like we can talk too. It doesn't matter to me. Thanks again for reaching out to me! <3
@fighter23
yes, it definitely sounds so!! i'm sorry your mum doesn't quite seem to understand. hope it works out for you, though! also, rest assured that if you disappeared, there will always be someone who cares. i find how 7cups allows people from all over the world to care for one another really incredible tbh; if someone so far away can care for you despite only knowing you on the screen then surely there's someone near you who cares!!
sure thing :) i only suggested talking if you felt that would help since you mentioned you were lonely and i'd be glad to accompany you!! let me know if that's something you're interested in!! i was thinking along the lines of these: one, two, and three. hopefully they help!
@windflowers thank you so much for your empathy. I will keep fighting and holding on. That is one of the many things I like about 7 cups. It has helped me remember that good still exists in the world and people care. I needed that.
I start work today at my new job. If I am feeling down I will tag you in this forum and we can start chatting. Right now I am down but not as bad as before. I really appreicate the offer. If you want to talk for the hell of it we can keep messaging that is fine with me. Whatever floats your boat!
Thank for the articles. I will look them over tomorrow! :)
@fighter23
sure!! good luck with your job; please let me know how it went! whatever floats your boat will float mine :) hope you have a great day!
@windflowers The first day wasn't bad! Technology wasn't working in my favor so for the first hour I ended up bagging without being trained. The person I worked with was really nice! He goes "this is really only your first day working?" I said yes, I haven't even been trained. Response: "You will be adjusted in no time." I got compliments more than once about how I was doing a really good job. It felt great! The I did for the next three hours or so and then bagged for the last 45 minutes. I was told I could leave early but I needed the money and wasn't in a rush to go home so I stayed. I had some funny customers too!
The thing I am most worried about is cashiering. I feel like I am going to mess it up. It's more pressure as well because everybody is waiting for me to fail.
Hows life for you?
@fighter23
awe it really does sound like you had a great first day!! i'm so glad; you 11/10 deserve that. your coworker sounds amazing; hopefully you get to interact more with him! you were really hardworking; that's very admirable. i'm glad your customers treated you well!!
i see. just take it one step at the time, alright? i read this somewhere: you can mess up, but you're not a mess-up. your mistakes will not define you; just because you make a mistake doesn't mean you are a mistake. if everyone is waiting for you to fail and you don't, you're proving them wrong, but if you do fail, think of it as lowering their expectations! then when you achieve something they didn't think you can, you'll get a lot more recognition for it :)
it's alright, thank you for asking!
@windflowers Yes I did. Thank you for allowing me to share my excitement with you!! Yes, that would be great if I work with him more. If not, it's okay. It will allow me to meet others and hopefully hit it off with most. Customers I have decided are a hit or a miss but let's hope there isn't too many negative ones.
Alright I can do that. I like how you explained the mess up situation. I will definitely have to apply that one! I will prove them wrong. :)
You're welcome. :D
@fighter23
it was an honour!! i'm glad to see you were excited :) and yes, that's an incredibly optimistic view -- which is really great!! i'm sure there won't be too many negative ones if you keep up your great performance -- and just remember that if there are, bad customers or bad reviews don't define you! one can't please everyone after all :)
yes!!
@windflowers Me too! It feels good to be happy and looking forward to new things. I like how you put that! I will surely kep that in mind. Thank you so much!! :)
Have a great day!
@fighter23
anytime & same to you!! if you'd like feel free to keep me updated on how it's going :)
Thats completely alright. Honestly I didnt notice that there was no response. I have been so busy with babysitting all day, working nights and then working weekends that I dont have much me time. My anxiety does suck at that point but who knows maybe if I keep pushing through it eventually it will go away. Work is truly special. Sometimes its bad but for the most part its really good. :) Majority of the customers I have are really kind and I make them laugh which in return makes me happy.
@fighter23
oh no!! i'm sorry to hear that. can you take some time off once in a while -- maybe come home a bit earlier on friday/saturday/sunday night to enjoy whatever you like, really? i don't think that's the way anxiety works ngl, but different people have different methods of coping, so you might be right! what might also help is if you got some time to yourself and took some deep breaths, etc? this is an amazing thread by users on 7cups, which may help. i'm glad it's good and that you're being optimistic! taking delight in others' joy is admirable as well, so props for that :) hope it continues to be this way!
@windflowers honestly my shifts are all over the place. The good thing it is only usually like 4-5 hours. Just drained you know? My depression has been kicking my ass lately so it's making things more challenging and I am exhausted on so many levels. Yeah anxiety is hard to figure out. I do find that if you keep pushing through it it does normally get better. Or I pay less attention to it. 🤔 Thank you for the suggestions though!!
@fighter23
Welcome! Im Lizzy and Im currently a trained listener and intern. I hope you find what you are looking for here in 7 Cups. Please feel free to message me whenever. I will usually reply within the day and if Im online, you should expect a reply straight away! I specialise in anxiety, panic attacks and loneliness mostly but you are always free to message me for other reasons!
http://www.7cups.com/15248074
