Anxiety and Childhood Trauma
Hi. I suffer from anxiety that I developed when I was eighteen years old. I'm now 22 and recently moved out of my mothers house (for the 3rd time) for good. I blocked her, told her she can stay out of my life and I moved far away.
How this happened? Oh, where to start? There's a lot. I'd love someone to talk to about it but the main reason for my anxiety is from my mother and everything she put me through. I kept going back, thinking I needed her but everytime I did, she hurt me more and more. I finally found a great man (my fiance) and my mother would bash him and his name especially when he moved in with me at my mom's house. Things got worse when she came back from a weekend out. She's 40 years old and partying like she is sixteen with 5 other kids who live at home. My sister is 17 and she moved out too because of it.
I'm doing better now, but I have nightmares of her abuse. I'm not sure where to begin on my healing journey. All she did was threaten me, beat me, verbally abuse me and drank. I raised my siblings when she went out to party. Now, I'm gone but it feels like I still cannot escape from it. My grandmother and sister keep sending me messages to talk to her and that "she's still my mother". Honestly, she doesn't deserve that title. She was never a mother. She never cared about me unless I raised her kids I just need some guidance.