Ruin
When my anxiety peek, I have paranoia. The world must be out to get me. Not that I’m so important. But that something bad will happen and I’ll be sued. Financial ruin. Everything will be taken from me. I wouldn’t have a bed, a roof over my head. I’ll be on social welfare, trying to make ends meet. Be force to work jobs I don’t like. Everything I work for gone.
It is not true. I know it is not true. But I can’t help thinking I can’t screw up. I can’t afford to screw up.
Anixety says, it doesn’t need to happen now. It can in the future. A possibility.
I am *** at myself for freaking over a possibility. The peace I cannot have because of a possibility. If what I do now won’t alter the future, then what is the point of freaking out? Nothing. A waste of what time I have now. Ugh.