It sounds like you are traumatised by bad memories and daily reminders severely.
Let’s create positive memories to blur the traumatising reminders. Here’s a reminder that you are awesome. If you are willing, chant with me: “I am amazing. I am strong. I am loved. I just know I am.”
I suggest you don’t listen to the naysayers. At this point I recommend you to write their name down/draw them and use a slipper to hit the paper repeatedly. If they treated you so badly, would this be a good outlet for you? I feel it’s quite funny too but it’s a legitimate ritual to let bad people, in this case people who abuse you to just go away. It’s popular in some Asian countries and you can even pay people to do that for you. There are experts on that. It isn’t to put a curse on anyone. This practice is just to wish the enemy to go further away from you so they won’t harm you. Hope it helps. I guarantee it’s gratifying.