Living in a toxic family ft student life
I was born in a toxic family & dealing with then always haven’t been an easy job or even near to one.
but let’s cut to the chase, the newest issue is that :
my mother is overprotective of me & doesn’t allow me to go anywhere from my house, I can’t go out with my friends, I can’t go out alone anywhere. And my father doesn’t really care about our mental health or education or basically our lives. He’s always busy with his job so never really pays attention to our lives.
lately I’ve been failing my exams & having hard time finding motivation to do anything which is affecting my studies & grades a lot. And due to all the stress & fear or failure & demotivation, I keep forgetting whatever I study. And the rest of my batchmates, most of em are done with their college & starting new chapters & the rest are doing a lot with their lives such as they’re exam candidates like me too but they also tutor & do this & that & still always stays on top of studies & gets too tier grades. All these made me even more disappointed in myself.
Recently I’ve been getting really sick physically & mentally & I thought if I start going to the gym again maybe I’ll feel better & It’ll also help me focus on my studies better. My parents are both working parents so they don’t pay much attention to our well-being’s. They just work & buy us stuff. That’s it. We don’t have that great bond or anything. I’ve been telling them that I’m getting sick, something is wrong with my body but they don’t really seem to care so I stopped telling them. I even wanted to go out in the area for walking but they didn’t even allow that, they just wants me to stay home at all times & study literally 24/7 no kidding. I’ve told them that I’m getting really sick & I want to join the gym as it has helped me earlier with my well-being. They strictly immediately denied! They said that I can’t go to gym cuz I can’t waste 2 hrs of my life going to the gym & I can go out walking and workout at home but that’s it I can’t go out. I get the time wasting thing but my problem is :
1) they don’t pay any attention to what’s going on with us for example a few days ago my sibling had an allergic reaction & I begged my parents to come help us but they didn’t give any attention to us and screamed at me for taking my sibling to the hospital. I did anyways & got her an injection which practically save her as she was having trouble breathing. Yeah my parents are like this.
2) I’ve told them I keep getting sick & sick & they don’t care but they won’t even let me go to the gym or go out for even just a walk! Wtf am I supposed to do with my life then? Be their puppet & stay home like a jail & study 24/7???? How is this even possible?!! & their lives are very eventful they have tons of friends & colleagues with whom they go out every other day.
3) they’re the type of parents that fight with each other & when we try to stop them they start attacking us & then leave the whole family & then a few days later come home again & pretend that nothing bad has ever happened. And spends loads of money on buying us expensive stuff so we would shut up. Whenever we say “that’s not good parenting” they start to lecture on how much money they spend on us…my point is being the breadwinner doesn’t mean being a parent?!
4) now what am I supposed to do? They fight, they leave, they torture on us & I still have to stay home & tolerate everything & can’t even go out for a few hrs to myself ?
look I get the whole time wasting thing before exam & it bothers me too. I’m also scared what if I can’t spend wasting that much time b4 exams? But I’m getting sick day by day due to my weight, having trouble sleeping every night for more than a month now, I’m getting sick to my stomach every now & then & my doctor did tell me quite a long time ago that all these r happening cuz of my weight.
I just don’t know what to do now. I still feel very demotivated & depressed dealing with everything. I can’t eat anything cuz I feel guilty for failing my exams & gaining so much weight that every time after eating I want to throw up. I can’t look at the mirror because it makes me realise how fat I am & how bad & heavy I feel. Nobody ever gets me. I can’t even explain through words how I feel. I just…I hate myself! I thought maybe if I did went to gym again & workout etc I’d feel better, I’d be able to eat properly & I might feel less like a failure…. I guess that’s not happening anymore soo…..well….thanks y’all for r reading my rants anyways…
@sensitiveBalsam7250 I'm really sorry you're going through all of this right now. It sounds like you're carrying so much weight—physically, emotionally, and mentally—and that's incredibly hard. Please know that your feelings are valid, and it's okay to struggle with everything happening around you. You're doing the best you can, even though it doesn't feel like it. You're not alone in this, even if it feels that way sometimes. You deserve to feel heard, supported, and cared for. I really hope things start to shift for you, and you find some peace, whether it's through small changes or just taking things one step at a time.
Sending you lots of support, we are here for you 💛
Thank you so much for your kind wordsð©·ð©·ð©·
@sensibleBalsam7250 Te entiendo, yo también pasé por algo similar hace unos meses. De hecho, técnicamente sigo en la misma situación. Acabo de tener una recaída debido a la universidad y a problemas con mis padres. Todo esto es complicado, y peor aún, no saber a quién contarle tus sentimientos y que nadie logre entenderte del todo. En este proceso, he aprendido a sustentarme. Mi consejo es que te centres en ti, que hagas las cosas por ti y para ti. Sé que es difícil lidiar con todo esto, pero estoy seguro de que lo superaremos con el tiempo. Todo esto pasará, pero mientras tanto no te rindas. Intenta superar esas ideas negativas, lucha por ti mismo. Recuerda que eres tu mayor apoyo, tu mejor aliado. Esa idea es la que me ha mantenido adelante, porque sé que si dependiera de algo más, tal vez ya no estaría aquí. Aunque a veces mis padres no lo demuestran por su trabajo o sus preocupaciones, sé que me tienen en su corazón. Te mando un fuerte abrazo. Espero que encuentres la fuerza para afrontar todo lo que sientes. Eres fuerte y estoy seguro de que podrás manejar esto.
@sensitiveBalsam7250
I was born into a toxic family too and have overprotective family members so I know how difficult it is and am sorry you’re living with this too.
What worked for me as difficult as it was at first was to just “let the storm or storms go” bc they never last forever and once those situations are gone I’ll realized I’d able to deal with similar situations bc going through these situations made me stronger and made me a survivor.
Another thing that worked for me was distancing myself from the members of my family who caused any type of problems - big or small didn’t matter - and keeping my distance as long as possible and then refocusing myself mentally and emotionally and physically on other things that were gonna make me happy by bringing me peace.
I think you should try these things out. If you already have, keep at it and it will eventually work. When is something only God knows. But believe me it definitely will eventually work out.
Endless good luck, support and hugs to you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Hope it works out well for you sooner than later :) :) :)
Thank you so so much for your kindest words I really appreciate it🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷 & sorry for you too & hope you’re doing great now🩷🩷
@sensitiveBalsam7250 I feel you on a personal level today. My parents are like that as well, both of them working and my mum wanting to control me like a puppet and my dad not wanting to give a shi- about me. I also have grades that are degrading but they just tell me that it's cause of my phone. My mum has been really abusive towards me whenever I don't study ( tw/ she physically beats me and scratches me to the point of bleeding and scarring). My dad on the other hand is a pretentious narcissistic person. He acts all nice infront me ( sometimes he accidentally let's his true self slip out) and then bad mouths about me to my mum saying things like," I don't want to see her face again, I'm wasting my money on her, she doesn't deserve all this, I hate her" etc etc. and then my mum let's all that frustration out on me by beating me. My mum curses to me a lot and even wishes that I may get a husband who will ra*e me in future. GOD I HATE THEM
Damnn this sounds soo harsh I am soo soo soo very much sorry that you’re going through all these. I truly am. Some people are just never born to be parents yet their overconfidence makes them do it anyways & then they fail everyday in the parenting subject & they let all their frustrations on us. It’s sad but it’s also so true. I am again sorry that you’re going through this. I hope one day u can get out of that place and never have to deal with those trauma ever. take loads of love🩷🩷🩷
@sensitiveBalsam7250
Hey,
First of all, I just want to acknowledge how heavy everything you’re dealing with must feel. It’s a lot to carry on your own, and it’s clear you’re trying so hard to make sense of it all while fighting for your own well-being. That in itself shows so much strength, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now.
It’s incredibly hard to grow in an environment where you feel unsupported or misunderstood, especially when your physical and mental health are being affected. The fact that you’re self-aware enough to recognize what you need (like the gym, time to yourself, or even just basic care) says a lot about how much you value your health, even if your parents aren’t meeting those needs.
I know it’s easy to feel trapped and hopeless, but maybe you could start with small steps that don’t depend on them. For example, finding some time at home to do light workouts, yoga, or even meditation could help release some of the stress. It’s not the same as going to the gym, but it might give you a sense of control over your routine.
Also, if you can, try reaching out to someone you trust a teacher, a counselor, or even a friend who might be able to offer support or guidance. Sometimes, having someone listen and validate your feelings can make all the difference.
And please don’t beat yourself up over your exams or compare yourself to others. You’re navigating challenges that most people don’t see or understand. Your journey is your own, and it’s okay to move at a pace that works for you.
You’re not a failure, and your worth isn’t tied to your grades or how much you accomplish. You’re doing the best you can in a really tough situation, and that’s something to be proud of.
Sending you so much strength and support. You’re not alone in this.
Thank you so much for your taking the time out to write this message to me. I appreciate it a lotð©·ð©·ð©·
@sensitiveBalsam7250 You’re so welcome. I’m really glad it resonated with you. Please know you’re not alone, and it’s okay to take things one step at a time. Take care of yourself you deserve it!🤍😇