Timeblindness and ADHD
I have ADD/ADHD was diagnosed decades ago but it is only in the last few years that I learned that time blindness is pretty common for us.
It has caused me to lose so many jobs, so many people to yell at me my entire life, contributed to so much trauma.
I try so hard and I just do not *have* a sense of time. And of course all I hear - is "just set an alarm" - like that actually helps- I save it for super important stuff or it stops working and have plenty of them already. So many that they *create* anxiety.
I also hear I need to "care more", "try harder", be "more responsible". I try so hard, beat myself up more then others do for my failings, am so tired of trying so hard and never being good enough.
Society does not even recognize this as a real disability issue - It *is* real, I do try, I do care, I am responsible - and I'm just tired of failing all the time and being told I need to feel *worse* about something that is *not* a charactor flaw it is a disability.
There are other aspects of ADHD that impact my life but I got hit *so* hard by time blindness.
I wish there was a solution but nothing has ever really worked.
I can’t offer any solution but I soooooo understand exactly where you are coming from. I feel like you just wrote out the constant thoughts in my mind. It’s messed up but I sometimes feel jealous of people with obvious physical disabilities because at least the world is mostly understanding and kind to them and they celebrate when they achieve something. You watch those motivational speakers where they used to be a runner and they lost their leg but have learnt to run again. I bet the time stamp of a lap is completely different but the way people smile and cheer… ain’t no one doing that when I manage to arrive somewhere on time or close to time or even at all. Despite the stress and pain and absolute diligence ignoring so much that shouldn’t be ignored just to try and get somewhere on time because you know if you’re a decent human being you ‘should’ be able to manage that. Just the sideways glances, obvious disdain and ‘action plans’ or goals etc on how I can improve because obviously it’s just not good enough. Obviously there’s something I’m not doing right and must be lazy and uncaring.
🙄🙄 Sorry for the verbal vomit but the labels we’re given and the reality we face is just beyond frustrating.
So I’m sorry for how others have been treating you throughout your life. It’s obviously from your words that you are such a strong amazing ninja of a soul that obviously cares deeply and puts so much work and effort into life 💜💜 Go you!!! Keep being your amazing self and ignore the ignorant. It’s obvious they have no idea.
Sending love and hugs 🤗
I empathise completely, please take some comfort in that you are not alone in time blindness struggles. I don't really have any answers about how to best manage it and everyone is different. I use lists to try help organise bigger picture things as sometimes I find visual things can help my processing but I also find it hard managing negative feedback and comments and just keep trying...even though it can be draining. Reaching out to a forum, voicing your thoughts though can help though and you're brave for being honest about how you feel.
Ahhh, ADHD. I was writing an admittedly long response, and something happened and now it’s gone.
Basically, all of your posts hit me to my core.
we have to put so much more physical and emotional energy into paying attention to time, and physical and emotional energy into what happens if we are not perfect. It really is an ADHD tax we pay to live in a world dominated by a different neurotype. I wish there was an accommodation we could ask for - has anyone come up with anything? Not to make light of anyone else’s disabilities or struggles, but I wish there was a ramp or interpreter like accommodation that was not difficult and employers would find acceptable. Asking for accommodation to be late or miss meetings wouldn’t fly.
for anyone interested, I did read an article theorizing that people with ADHD may have less of a connection between their heart beat and their brain. Other neurotypes have a stronger connection and their heartbeat serves as a decently steady way to feel the passage of time.
I do have some new things I am looking to try, so if anyone is ever up for brainstorming and sharing, hearing about my ideas or even a good sharing of stories to normalize the difficulties with adhd and laugh, I am here!
I love the idea of a brainstorming session. Why don't we have a chat area of our own? We need ADHD events as well as more relaxed discussion.
I know its hard for us to do time and structures but we can manage topics at least.
Hey 👋 im sry ur struggling so much. Hopefully things r looking up for u. I wuz just wondering if u could explain to me what Time Blindness is or maybe give me an example?! I tried looking it up but im still dont understand
So time-blindness can also be known as dyschronometria.
My garbage day is Friday morning. I know I need to prepare trash thursday night and move things to my designated pick up spot. And even though I know all this it is really common for me to realize it is friday morning - when I hear the truck go by :( or at 2 AM on friday morning when I wake up and realize I forgot. Or think I need to prep on thursday and get the days scrambled, or realize in the morning then go out and only recognize that today was thursday night when I arrive home exhausted.
Appointments are awful as well - I have an appointment on the 24th and I had to seperately memorize both that it is Wednesday and that it is this week and keep being aware of it approaching and its still horribly stressful.
And while concentrating on that I have to not mess up paying my bills on time and other stuff.
Time blindness makes being on time a huge effort, it makes keeping track of dates times, how long a task lasts, people's birthdays, days of the week and more very hard.
My brain is task oriented it is just not meant to function via time and dates and it takes a lot of energy to manage anything based on time.
its a disability, plain and simple. Yes you can mitigate it - to some degree- through trying harder and using tools and strategies but it IS a huge effort and saying this isn't a disability is not fair.
I will make a comparison - there are people who can walk but for whom it is a lot of effort - they might have visible things such as cruches, walkers, braces, perhaps even a wheelchair. Maybe they can walk 50 feet but they are exhausted at 100. Not acknowledging that this is a real disability is like telling that person that they are not allowed to have any help walking just because they can walk a bit with nothing - if they try really really hard and exhaust themselves
On a given day I might be ontime for one appointment - but fail to get dishes clean for third day in a row, have something fall and break and have to just leave because they won't believe why I'm late since I'm always struggling with time - so my rug gets ruined rather then it being okay for me to clean it - but better then losing a job again, fail to eat anything because no time, have to skip brushing my teeth and a shower, forget to pay a bill, miss a doctor appointment - but I made it to work on time that day.
Getting to a job or appointment isn't as simple as setting an alarm, people always say that- its about listening to *multiple* alarms for at least an hour and a half prior to departure which actually causes anxiety - to make sure I do all things I need to before leaving - or otherwise time just vanishes on me - each alarm has me seeing how much time is left and evaluating what I still need to do.
Then there is another alarm to tell me I am entering the "triage zone" - or if I actually get done early to make sure turning off the constant alarm still means there is a back up alarm for time to go.
The triage alarm is whem I have to leave in just a few minutes. Generally I set it about 20 minutes before departure and then when it goes off again 10 minutes later I am hopefully real close to leaving. And the second time it goes off - hopefully I am *in* my car.
So lets say I got dishes going, put up a load of laundry, cleaned a litter box, put all the stuff I needed in the car - but somehow didn't get dressed, didn't feed my animals, or need to find my purse.
The list is then shortened to nothing except fed animals, clothing and shoes on my body, purse/phone and anything else I must have with me, and things like is my stove turned off - thats it. Obviously it would be nice to have combed hair and brushed teeth but I keep a brush and mints in the car for a reason.
Does that make sense @sketch84 ?
@IndigoWhisper ... wow, that sounds so anxiety ridden. I already struggle with anxiety for appointmnts but idk if its time blindness cuz it doesnt seem to fit. But someone mentioned it to me and said its common for ppl like *us* to have time blindness and i just didnt get it. But wow, the struggle is real and sry2hear its so much.