Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria
Hi! I'm Laurel. I was diagnosed with ADHD 2.5 years ago, and I have since learned that I have rejection sensitivity dysphoria, which means I feel intense emotional pain when I hear or think I hear criticism. I anticipate it, too whenever a loved one is angry. I tend to worry that I've done something wrong. Anyone else? If so, what do you do to help it?
@easyScarf7950 hiii ❤ I have similar feelings, but not adhd. I fear anger, I get scared of I think I do something wrong. And even if I only think I've upset someone, I get this surge of fear. The only way I know how to deal with this is to be straight forward and apologise immediately to the person I may of angered. And then cry alot. Not great coping methods😂😂 but I understand what your going through there. If there's anything I can do to help, I'm right here for you ❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤ and sends a hug to your little baby ❤
Thanks Tiny! I'm learning ask myself what is really going on with the angry person. It's usually my husband, and he's usually not angry at me. His anger and irritability are from being stressed. So I give him his space and try not to react. He seems to appreciate that. After he calms down, he talks about whatever is bothering him (sometimes it's a migraine or other physical pain), and he assures me he's not angry with me. And I'm learning to tell myself that I am doing fine, that I am a good wife regardless of the mistakes I sometimes make. My default used to be to beat myself up. We need to be kind to ourselves.
This is really relateable, I can't take criticism. If you critisise me I get angry. I think it's because I'm a perfectionist. And I also sometimes think I've done something wrong.
Greetings Laurel @easyScarf7950 !! I have a similar issue here aswell! I have severe emotional pain towards rejection, and it makes me feel like a total burden or failure here. It definitely sucks. Know that you aren't alone, and I'm not saying that to feel like multiple people have RSD and you don't deserve love, support, attention, and much more, you do amd you arent an exception! We can all fight through this together! Rejection can be scary, hurtful, stressful, could even cause severe distress and depression. But with the right care and treatment that you are fully worthy of, you can battle through that phobia and overcome it! Multiple people out there struggle with you but, together, we can find a way. :) If you are ever anxious to ask someone due to that pressure on your shoulders, it's okay! You can always prepare beforehand on how to overcome the response. Even if the person has to emphasise a firm no, it doesn't mean that it's the end of the world! Rejection is something we all have to experience at some point but, with the right type of help, daily affirmations and mantras, therapy, etc, rejection won't seem as scary and petrifying than you think! ❤️ Next time you feel paralysed with fear trying to request something, breathe in, breathe out, prepare yourself before approaching, and pray for the best. I hope this makes you feel a bit better about your RSD. 🤗
Awww I love your exuberance, Cranberry! :D Thanks for the pep talk! Reminding myself of the truth helps so much! Which reminds me- I need to put my affirmations as a Screensaver on my phone before my coaching appointment tomorrow.
@easyScarf7950 Glad I helped you out! ❤️ And a good thing I reminded you, haha
@easyScarf7950For me it's actually the opposite.I often don't care too much resulting in problems with family members calling me insensitive.
@easyScarf7950
Everyone wants to be loved and respected and we all deserve that. When that gets endangered by someone else’s actions and projections of us it can set off a whole range of emotions. The fear of rejection is a deep one that many of us struggle with. The fear creates the worry and it sort of snowballs from there and you start ruminating on potential negative outcomes and before you know it you are a stressed out mess.
What I have learned is that being gentle with yourself is paramount. Know that emotions are going to come up and have some strategies ready to lessen the load of how they affect you. Deep belly breathing has been really useful for me when I am anxious and feeling fearful. Or sometimes I will use something else to distract myself and concentrate on, like a funny clip or videos of cute animals. This seems to help quell the initial feelings of worry, so I hope that helps 😊
Petting my cat certainly helps, too!
@easyScarf7950
Yes! Thank goodness for furry companions. I have a kitty as well and they know when you need them. Petting them relaxes me too and there is science to back up how their purrs have a positive healing affect on us.