I think I have adhd but am terrified of being wrong
This thread is mostly me ranting and is my way to remember why I think I have ADHD and to help myself stop obsessing over the subject. If anyone has any advice or smth or can relate, I could very much use some words of encouragement.
- i am terrible at managing my time. Although I'm not sure if it was an issue when I was a kid, other than me being late to everything, but it worsened when I started middle school and there was less structure. It got so bad I almost failed a class last year (but my parents found out and whooped my ass into working). Luckily I've been learning techniques to manage my time from the school counselor so it's better now
- as terrible as I am at managing my time, I'm an even worse procrastinator. Even right now I'm procrastinating on my analysis of a book for french class (it's a pretty good book btw)
- i'm a fidgeter. The person clicking their pen in class, or tapping their foot? That's me
- my memory is weird. I've been told I have a photographic memory. I can remember oddly specific details from an event years ago, and am (mostly) capable of memorising stuff word-by-word, but if you ask me to remember instructions, what you were just saying, what I was going to say, where I put something, or literally anything my brain considers trivial, I can't. I have such a bad memory in that regards that my friends and I jokingly say I have short-term memory loss
- i space out. This summer I went to get tested because I thought I had hearing loss. Turns out my hearing is amazing. After that I realized it's not that I can't hear people, but that I space out a lot in conversations
- im that annoying kid that infodumps and interrupts everyone. Enough said
- i hyperfocus a lot and get distracted easily. It was definitely more noticeable when I was a kid now that I kind about it, but I hyperfocus A LOT. And if you disturb me while I'm in the zone I will be extremely pissed at you. But nowadays since I need to focus more often on homework and stuff, I get distracted more easily.
Someone is typing on the computer? The sound is annoying and I can't concentrate. Someone is speaking next to me? Their voice is really annoying and I can't concentrate. Basically when I try to focus any and every small noise seems to be amplified. Although usually as long as it's quiet I can focus just fine, there are times when even my thoughts are too bothersome (like today) and on the really bad days it feels like I'm repeatedly smashing my head against a table
- i have a bunch of projects and goals planned but I never actually do them. If it weren't for my lack of motivation and time management, I would have been a writer, an artist, polylinguist, and gotten practically perfect grades. Whoever nerfed me, screw you
- i get angry over the most ridiculous of things. I will have a meltdown and a temper tantrum like a five-year old if someone moves my stuff in my room. I literally got super pissed yesterday because my toast was burnt. I still am
- something about crocodiles??
- i feel like a lazy, useless disappointment. This one of the big reasons I had a major depression 2? 3? years ago and one of the big reasons I am obsessing over ADHD at the moment (ADHD is also a hyperfixation of mine rn)
- i've always been pretty sh**ty when it comes to sleep
- idk how to describe it, but it feels like my brains has several radio channels playing at once. Sometimes some of the radio channels get turned off, and that's usually when i lose track of what I was thinking/gonna say
- my mom has been told she very likely has adhd. I am practically certain she does. I don't think she notices how ADHD affects her (or us) but it definitely is a huge factor in our life. Our dog certainly is proof of that
There's definitely more stuff but I forgot. It'll come back to me. Though I'm kinda lazy so I doubt I'll write it. If you've read this far, then sorry, and you shall now know I dislike chicken noodle soup (pls don't kill me)
I feel like this was written about me! I hope you get an answer soon. I'm in the middle of looking for a psychologist and find it stressful.
@EternalWombat42 what a long process! I remember going through this before getting my diagnosis of adhd. Drop me a message if you'd like some support!
@smolmuffintart i have this exact same issue! i looked up stuff about adhd a while ago and i could relate to almost all of the symptoms, but i have absolutely no idea where to start with getting help. im also scared to tell my parents cause i have a feeling they won't take me seriously. i really don't know what do to with myself
@smolmuffintart literally over half the stuff you've experienced describes me!
what about your dog? sorry, i was really focused on and relating with everything you wrote, but that one detail got me curious. i'm also pretty much hyperfixated on "i think i have a lot of disturbs and that now also includes adhd". i do feel like i'm just lazy and irresponsible all the time. maybe i'm making this all up and a lot of excuses. but the point is: i got a lot to do and can't seem to actually do it. i feel overwhelmed most of the time. like, uh, i have so much to study and learn to get into college. my whole student life i never had to make much effort and always got really good grades (no kidding, today i was looking at my grades and they were really high), even though i pretty much leave and left everything to the last possible minute. i was and always am late for everything. but now it's pretty much everything on my own, the studying and getting everything of my life on track, so... jokes on me, i have to be good at doing the things i need to do, but i can't...? like all my chances of succeeding depend on me and on my capacity of being constant, lmao. so i get you.