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smolmuffintart
2,935 M Hopeful Heart 7
PathStep 12 Compassion hearts242 Forum posts14 Forum upvotes30 Current upvotes30 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2021 Member sinceAugust 29, 2020
Bio
Velvel, but you can use nicknames instead, like Vee or Bells. They/them yul/ul but generally everything goes, just ask!

Hi! I'm an unidentified eldritch being who loves reading, drawing, animated shit, animals and helping others. But really, I have an interest in everything and love hearing about others' hobbies! Oh also if you feed me I will follow you to the ends of the earth

Sienna, you will always be in my heart. Thank you <3
Recent forum posts
I think I have adhd but am terrified of being wrong
ADHD Support / by smolmuffintart
Last post
 July 15th, 2021
...See more This thread is mostly me ranting and is my way to remember why I think I have ADHD and to help myself stop obsessing over the subject. If anyone has any advice or smth or can relate, I could very much use some words of encouragement. - i am terrible at managing my time. Although I'm not sure if it was an issue when I was a kid, other than me being late to everything, but it worsened when I started middle school and there was less structure. It got so bad I almost failed a class last year (but my parents found out and whooped my ass into working). Luckily I've been learning techniques to manage my time from the school counselor so it's better now - as terrible as I am at managing my time, I'm an even worse procrastinator. Even right now I'm procrastinating on my analysis of a book for french class (it's a pretty good book btw) - i'm a fidgeter. The person clicking their pen in class, or tapping their foot? That's me - my memory is weird. I've been told I have a photographic memory. I can remember oddly specific details from an event years ago, and am (mostly) capable of memorising stuff word-by-word, but if you ask me to remember instructions, what you were just saying, what I was going to say, where I put something, or literally anything my brain considers trivial, I can't. I have such a bad memory in that regards that my friends and I jokingly say I have short-term memory loss - i space out. This summer I went to get tested because I thought I had hearing loss. Turns out my hearing is amazing. After that I realized it's not that I can't hear people, but that I space out a lot in conversations - im that annoying kid that infodumps and interrupts everyone. Enough said - i hyperfocus a lot and get distracted easily. It was definitely more noticeable when I was a kid now that I kind about it, but I hyperfocus A LOT. And if you disturb me while I'm in the zone I will be extremely pissed at you. But nowadays since I need to focus more often on homework and stuff, I get distracted more easily. Someone is typing on the computer? The sound is annoying and I can't concentrate. Someone is speaking next to me? Their voice is really annoying and I can't concentrate. Basically when I try to focus any and every small noise seems to be amplified. Although usually as long as it's quiet I can focus just fine, there are times when even my thoughts are too bothersome (like today) and on the really bad days it feels like I'm repeatedly smashing my head against a table - i have a bunch of projects and goals planned but I never actually do them. If it weren't for my lack of motivation and time management, I would have been a writer, an artist, polylinguist, and gotten practically perfect grades. Whoever nerfed me, screw you - i get angry over the most ridiculous of things. I will have a meltdown and a temper tantrum like a five-year old if someone moves my stuff in my room. I literally got super pissed yesterday because my toast was burnt. I still am - something about crocodiles?? - i feel like a lazy, useless disappointment. This one of the big reasons I had a major depression 2? 3? years ago and one of the big reasons I am obsessing over ADHD at the moment (ADHD is also a hyperfixation of mine rn) - i've always been pretty sh**ty when it comes to sleep - idk how to describe it, but it feels like my brains has several radio channels playing at once. Sometimes some of the radio channels get turned off, and that's usually when i lose track of what I was thinking/gonna say - my mom has been told she very likely has adhd. I am practically certain she does. I don't think she notices how ADHD affects her (or us) but it definitely is a huge factor in our life. Our dog certainly is proof of that There's definitely more stuff but I forgot. It'll come back to me. Though I'm kinda lazy so I doubt I'll write it. If you've read this far, then sorry, and you shall now know I dislike chicken noodle soup (pls don't kill me)
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