@littleGrapes3552
Hi there, I know the trouble of finding a listener who is comfortable talking about these topics. It can be really tough building the appropriate knowledge base and boundaries to do so. Sexuality can feel so confusing after sexual abuse. There is a lot of pairing of pleasure with pain or pleasure with shame. The emotions and urges can all become very muddled, which can make the distress and confusion worse.
Feel free to PM me if you would like to set of a time for a 1-1, otherwise we can keep talking here. The forums are a great place because there is a lot of validation from extra sources and it shows how not alone we are in our struggles.