My husband is an alcoholic
I haven't vocalized it to anyone. But I need to say it somewhere. I have already told him he drinks too much, but he doesn't care. He's a functioning alcoholic - has a job and doesn't drink during the day (as far as I know), but as soon as he's home he just can't wait to pour a drink for himself. He doesn't "have a cocktail." He drinks. I don't even think he cares what it tastes like, just as long as it fills a glass. And I know he has a bottle or two in a closet or hidden somewhere where I don't see because he knows I hate his drinking.
And of course, when he drinks, he's a jerk. And I look forward to when he passes out so I don't have to deal with him.
I'm sick of dealing with it. I miss the person I married years ago. He was nice. He was funny. He was helpful. He cared about things. Now he's just angry and bitter and hates everything and everyone and it's impossible to be around someone like that. And the alcohol just amplifies it.
He won't admit there's an issue except to occasionally say "I know I drink too much sometimes" and as much I think he could really benefit with some therapy, he wouldn't ever consider it.
This is not how I want the next years of my life to play out. I want to have fun and go do things and live life. But without a change, I don't see us doing much of anything together.
Just needed to get this off my chest. Maybe to help me know that it is real and isn't just "he occasionally drinks too much." If I verbalize it, maybe I will stop pretending to myself.