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Adult content on the internet

pluckyBranch4306 August 29th, 2018

I'm struggling to come to terms with this, but I have a porn addiction. The internet only makes that so much easier. I hid it for years, wouldn't even admit to liking it. Well, that has come around to bite me on the ass. My wife found some on my phone one night after years of insisting that I didn't even like it. I need to stop and I would like to hear from others who have had an issue with it and how they dealt with it.

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InternalAcceptance August 29th, 2018

@pluckyBranch4306 While this isn't my particular addiction, I did want to say how proud I am that you've reached out. It takes a lot of strength and courage to acknowledge an addiction of any kind and I did want to aknoclwedge that.

One thing that is helpful for all addictions is finding someone with the same or a similar addiction to reach out to when having a difficult time. There are usually online support groups if you aren't comfortable looking for a group in your area.

I also came accross an app on Android (I'm not sure if it's available on iPhone, though it may be) called Fortify specifically for Porn addiction. You can find it by searching Fortify Recovery on the Play Store. The reviews that I read are wonderful. It has daily tracking to help (which also helps with seeing patterns in triggers), a support team, and daily activities. That's one of, what I'm sure are, many apps that are available to offer support and tracking.

It's simple to say to avoid your addiction, though more difficult to execute. Please don't hesitate to reach out to a listener or another form of support if you're having a particularly difficult time. You're more than welcome to PM me and I'll reply as soon as I'm able to.

You have nothing to be ashamed of. You're struggling with a very real addiction and deserve just as much support as anyone else. Please be gentle with yourself.

ruffneckred August 29th, 2018

You are very brave to confront this addiction. One day at a time seems simple but it is effective. I have read that porn addiction is worse than heroin, something about it being visual and you can't unsee things. Good luck, let me know if i cam help in some way

pluckyBranch4306 OP August 30th, 2018

Thanks. It will definitely be difficult since access is pretty much at my fingertips whenever I want. I just have to change the behaviors that trigger it. I'll look into an app. That appeals to how I tend to do things. I never would have realized that I had a problem if she hadn't found those videos on my phone. I never would have thought that I had the capacity for addiction. I have never struggled with quitting anything else that I've tried. This will be a challenge.

1 reply
shymelody November 10th, 2018

@pluckyBranch4306

the application Cold Turkey is for laptops and you can block websites with it. I use it to help me study so I block YouTube and such, but you can use it for the pornography websites. you can set how long you want it to block the websites and once you do, it is impossible to uninstall the apllication until the time limit is up. definitely reccommend!

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bluewhite1972 November 7th, 2018

@pluckyBranch4306

You are 100% right and it is very common. I have the same challenges it stops me from being the person i want to be. I consoled myself with "at least not acting out on it with someone" - well to my wife online was the same as unfaithfullness. I had to stop for myself and our future. I can see why from her point of view. Also so many men and friends joke about as if light hearted - it is not. It becomes a problem for more than just ourselves it affects everyone as our mind or feelings or emotions are not where there are supposed ot be. Stress was my trigger and the fact i have a job i dislike a lot but locked into it.

I have beaten it in the past and stayed away- you know what worked? Telling my wife about it- sit down be open and honest about it. Leave your electroinic devices open for her to examine every day. Also if you do feel aroused by anything tell her and what happened, we all have moments just do not think of using porn or adult material. I thought i could not ever share what i thought about - turns out we mainly have the same desires and triggers just act the right way.

Your wife is your best confidant - you have conquer this together and move on together stronger. The key is one day at a time i heard the bigger barriers are at Day 1 (admitting it) Day 3 (no idea why hormones?) One week .... then every day until 3 months and then beaten it move on and help others. Do not give yourself a single day off or mini celebration if you do tell your wife and start again. Also distance yourself from friends or people who think it is ok, whether friends or not it is not healthy way to life and tell them.

I wish you best of luck and i wish it was not so freely available as society will change for kids in the future

pluckyBranch4306 OP November 7th, 2018

It's been over 90 days and I haven't watched any at all. I had a few times where I considered it, but the thought repulsed me. Thanks for reading.

3 replies
bluewhite1972 November 7th, 2018

@pluckyBranch4306

awesome - any other advice to give or share?

2 replies
pluckyBranch4306 OP November 8th, 2018

@bluewhite1972

It's like with so many other things. You have to want to change the behavior. This was hurting my marriage and I wanted that hurt to stop, so I had the association of adult videos took on a negative connotation. The thought of watching them started to bother me more and more until I couldn't even think about clicking through to even browse.

1 reply
bluewhite1972 November 8th, 2018

@pluckyBranch4306

thanks and congratulations- I think part of my challenge was getting away with it but mentally knowing living a lie to myself.

Well done

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Vanessagail November 10th, 2018

You can renounce what you looked at,name the sex act,ask for forgiveness and it can be blot out. God can do what others can't. It takes time to get well and try not to be discouraged if you fall but with Gods help get back up. There is a thought that is driving this ....what is it ....Im lonely, I'm sad, I want love? Its a lie and no substitute for real love in many forms. If you are in a lonely condition get outta there, go hug somebody, pray with them, journal, talk to God, go for walk, get away from your bed. Don't give up you need to train your brain to not use porn and masturbation and it takes practise and time.

8 replies
ruffneckred November 10th, 2018

@Vanessagail

wonderful post, I lost my faith and yearn to recover it, hopefully your post is the beginning. thanks, have a great day.

1 reply
Vanessagail November 10th, 2018

@ruffneckred There are many like you, we are looking for help and hope. Christ loves us. We don't have to do anything to earn this love. Christs true people will have that love for you bc He lives within them. I'm Seventh Day Adventist and found the true and help in Christ. I found 3 ladies there who are real and teach me how to be a Christian, pray for me, I'm honest with them . I also found a few fake Christians who were hurtful. Don't let the fake ones make you lose faith in the Lord. People are not God. If somebody is abusive to you over you wanting to be a Christian you don't have to go around them you can give them into Gods hands to deal with them and seek healing to help you not to hate them. Release them and let him deal with them. Everyone belongs to God he will deal with them. Hope your faith is revived and you continue to grow. Drop me line sometime if you like.

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PerpetuallyKekastrophic November 10th, 2018

@Vanessagail An addiction to 'God' and religion is worse than an 'addiction' to pornography, reliance upon invisible friends leads to a path where you don't take responsibility for your actions, it's better to be honest with yourself and people around you, to not feel ashamed, or to be shamed about your own sexuality, it's quite out of your own control what kind of mind you're born with, restricting your pent up sexual urges just makes it bottle up in your sub-conscious and when the urges come back they'll come back with a vengeance.

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ruffneckred November 11th, 2018

I would like to apologize to the thread as I believe I caused the veer into the religious discussion. I do like the discussion just think there is likely a better place for it to occur. I also agree that the large font seems like shouting and weakens one's position. Civil conversation is an art, let's please try to do better. Thank you. Have a great day.

1 reply
PerpetuallyKekastrophic November 13th, 2018

@ruffneckred Well, no need to apologize now, as the discussion bizarrely has partly been censored, i guess SOMEONE didn't want their posts to be public.

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sam2410 November 11th, 2018

@pluckyBranch4306

This might sound weird but, i think joining gym might help you, i used to help newbies at gym, and most of them used to have porn addiction, they told that gym has helped them a lot in driving away from it.

HopieRemi November 13th, 2018

Admitting you have a problem is never easy! Good on you for that.

Also just a heads up, I deleted a religious argument. Let's refrain from arguments regarding that.

pluckyBranch4306 OP November 13th, 2018

Thanks for all the kind words.I am not now nor will I ever be a religious person, so that has never been an option. Joiing a gym does actually sound like a good idea. Shift the focus. Give me a new goals. Release some endorphins.