An Apology To The Community
This is a strange one, but it’s a guilt I want to alleviate from my heart. When I first started volunteering here,I completely ignored the “do not give advice rule”. I was full of hubris, that I knew best and in reflection, what I was doing was reckless and dangerous. I could have and potentially may have caused great harm in my actions. It is no longer something I do and haven’t done for a while. I fully understand why we use reflective listening, and can see just how foolish I was. I can only pray that I haven’t hurt anyone as a result of this.
im on a journey of self forgiveness, and for that I require holding myself accountable to my peers. I want to sincerely apologise for my actions, I have learnt from my mistakes and will not so it again.
For anyone reading this who may be doing the same, I’ll explain what I came to learn. That to offer advice, is to take on the responsibility of the other persons actions. What works for me may not work for others, and it is reckless to presume otherwise. I recall suggesting someone make gentle confrontations with a potential narcissistic abuser. My god, how awful that was to suggest. That route was my route, and I presumed that it would be the universally applicable advice. I was so thankful to receive a message months later saying that things did work out, but that advice could have gotten them seriously injured, emotionally or physically.
reflective listening allows the person the space to grow and learn, to start recognising patterns in there selves and routes of self enquiry and growth. We act as a mirror, remove ourselves and our personal biases and just allow space for the other person to be seen and heard. That is the far more valuable route of growth and healing than directing.
once more, I sincerely apologise and have learnt and grown from my mistake. And I hope if anything it can be a learning experience for others. Thank you for reading
@PianoMan
Not many people acknowledge the wrong they might do and then not many people admit their mistake and apologize in public so I must say you're very self introspective and courageous 💕 the fact you did a deep reflection on it is very commendable
A lot of people give advice and usually with good intention too but understanding why it shouldn't be given is important and I'm glad you do now and have corrected your approach in listening to people 🤗 im proud of you and its inspiring to see you grow.
@PianoMan Wow! I'm literally in awe and so proud of you for making this post. Many times it's hard to admit the errors of our ways and for you to publicly announce it says something about your character. I am so proud of you for the growth you have shown on your listener journey. Sometimes when people give advice they do so with good intentions and without realizing of how damaging it can be. You made a mistake in your early journey as a listener and you learned from it. That is wonderful. Clearly, the growth you made is a positive one and I could not be anymore proud of you. With a 5 star rating, stats like yours, and reviews-- you clearly are an amazing listener who made such an impact in the lives of many. Perhaps some may not have realized what you did could be seen as frowned upon but you did notice and I applaud you. You care about members and the community and it shows. You are brave and amazing! Stay amazing. ♡ Xoxo.
Everyone makes mistakes. I'm sure some people prefer to get tips, advice, or life hacks, rather than just having someone listen. I'm a bit like that, myself. All you can do is your best. You have amazing self-awareness that will serve you well.
hi!🥰 I’m really proud of you, accepting our mistakes are not an easy thing to do❤️