An Apology To The Community

This is a strange one, but it’s a guilt I want to alleviate from my heart. When I first started volunteering here,I completely ignored the “do not give advice rule”. I was full of hubris, that I knew best and in reflection, what I was doing was reckless and dangerous. I could have and potentially may have caused great harm in my actions. It is no longer something I do and haven’t done for a while. I fully understand why we use reflective listening, and can see just how foolish I was. I can only pray that I haven’t hurt anyone as a result of this.

im on a journey of self forgiveness, and for that I require holding myself accountable to my peers. I want to sincerely apologise for my actions, I have learnt from my mistakes and will not so it again.

For anyone reading this who may be doing the same, I’ll explain what I came to learn. That to offer advice, is to take on the responsibility of the other persons actions. What works for me may not work for others, and it is reckless to presume otherwise. I recall suggesting someone make gentle confrontations with a potential narcissistic abuser. My god, how awful that was to suggest. That route was my route, and I presumed that it would be the universally applicable advice. I was so thankful to receive a message months later saying that things did work out, but that advice could have gotten them seriously injured, emotionally or physically.

reflective listening allows the person the space to grow and learn, to start recognising patterns in there selves and routes of self enquiry and growth. We act as a mirror, remove ourselves and our personal biases and just allow space for the other person to be seen and heard. That is the far more valuable route of growth and healing than directing.

once more, I sincerely apologise and have learnt and grown from my mistake. And I hope if anything it can be a learning experience for others. Thank you for reading