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October 2024 Forum Spotlight
by tommy
Last post
 11 hours ago
...See more October 2024 Forum Spotlight It's that time of the month again where we join together to celebrate the opportunities available to us across the forum. There are two core purposes of our forum spotlight: one to spotlight forum discussions more widely and two to showcase the amazing work of those community users who go above and beyond to help ensure everyone gets a reply to their thread. Here is an overview of our forum discussions for this month: * I'm Just Me Because Month [https://www.7cups.com/forum/trauma/CheckinsandPrompts_1095/TraumaSupportCommunityCheckInforOctober2024ImJustMeBecauseMonth_338157/] * World Mental Health Day [https://www.7cups.com/forum/disabilities/ArticlesResourcesConditionSpecificInformation_458/WorldMentalHealthDay_338207/] * How can I manage changes and life transitions? [https://www.7cups.com/forum/relationships/CopingToolsResourcesforRelationships_1161/RelationshipSupportDiscussionWaystoManageChangesandLifeTransitionsTogether_338525/] * POTS World Day [https://www.7cups.com/forum/disabilities/ArticlesResourcesConditionSpecificInformation_458/POTSWorldDayPosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome_339066/] * Inclusive Trick or Treating [https://www.7cups.com/forum/disabilities/CommunitySpace_227/InclusiveTrickorTreating_339078/] * Parenting Teenagers [https://www.7cups.com/forum/parenting/Parenting_2568/ParentingTeenagers_339581/] Looking to help us with forum engagement? Join our forum team by clicking here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/7cupsleadership/CommunitiesHelpWanted_2306/Soyouwanttobeaforumleader_334833/]. Here is our leaderboard for our monthly engagement challenge (with the number of needs reply posts answered): @Sunisshiningandsoareyou 204 @GentleHealingInitiative 101 @Phoenixthepoised 19 @Optimisticempath 17 You can find out more about this engagement initiative here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/EventsDiscussions_2666/Introducingournewandimprovedforumengagementchallenge_335791/] (including the link to participate). Are you wanting to get involved with this initiative for the month of November? Let us know about it by replying down below this forum spotlight! Please join me in congratulating our fantastic forum engagers down below! 🔗 Links * Do you want to join our taglist so you are notified of the next spotlight? Click here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/7cupsleadership/ProjectsEvents_2399/ForumEventsAutomatedTaglist_316255/]! * Do you have a thread which you've recently posted that you feel could be highlighted in our next monthly spotlight? Or perhaps you've noticed another thread which you think could be featured in our spotlight? Let us know about it here [https://forms.gle/wGWYW4izzS2Ukrrq6]!
Introducing our new and improved forum engagement challenge!
by tommy
Last post
 3 days ago
...See more Forum Engagement Challenge We are devoted to providing a supportive and inclusive space for all to interact and explore. As part of this mission, we need to evolve and increase awareness to help ensure every user gets what they deserve: a reply to their post. When a user doesn't get responded to in an adequate timeframe, it can leave them feeling disengaged and disappointed. Our forum engagement challenge is a monthly initiative to help ensure every user gets a response as soon as possible.  What is the Forum Engagement challenge? The Forum Engagement Challenge is a monthly campaign where we encourage all members, including Admins, Ambassadors, leaders, and everyone in between, to actively participate in forum discussions. The goal is simple: make 7 meaningful replies within the designated period. By responding promptly to posts, whether it's welcoming new members or contributing to ongoing discussions, we can create a sense of belonging and connection that enriches our community experience. Why Participate? 1. Build Community: Engage with fellow community members to strengthen our community bonds. 2. Support: Show your support by responding to posts promptly and offering assistance where needed. How do I participate? 1. Reply to this thread to confirm your participation. We should all aim to reply to at least 7 different needs reply posts within the month, but the more the merrier! 2. Find your way to the Needs Reply Queue [https://www.7cups.com/forum/7cupsleadership/ForumGuides_2597/HowcanIviewtheneedsreplyqueue_334779/].  3. Decide on a thread which you'd like to reply to. Consider picking one at the top of the list as these users have been waiting the longest.  4. Once you're ready, post a meaningful reply. Ensure you consider their original post and offer opportunities for further discussion. 5. Complete the form [https://forms.gle/ogwZXSg7rF72mcSW8] with a link to the thread you responded to. What do I get for participating? First of all, you get the satisfaction of supporting others. This is a reward which cannot be matched. As a thank you, we'll also award you 25 cheers for each needs reply post you respond to and will include you in our monthly leaderboard. Our monthly forum engagement leaderboard will be posted as part of our forum spotlight [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/EventsDiscussions_2666/August2024ForumDiscussionSpotlight_335746/].  So, are you ready to get involved with this initiative during the month of September? If so, comment below to confirm your participation!  ------------------------- CLICK HERE FOR THE FORM TO LOG YOUR NEEDS REPLY POSTS [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfqL5FIEL3itrR794x6m4FuJT2tf9FhQ59GgBPf4GyCTtei2g/viewform] -------------------------
Taking Care of Each Other - Preventing Burnout at 7 Cups
by Hope
Last post
 Sunday
...See more Hi everyone! This is a forum post linked to the path 'Preventing Burnout at 7 Cups' [https://www.7cups.com/path/playlist/preventing-burnout-at-7-cups/] What have you done today/recently to prevent burnout in a fellow community user? This can look like: • Encouraging self-care • Reminding someone of the importance of boundaries • Covering for someone so they can take a self-care break
Distortion 7. Comparison
by Hope
Last post
 4 hours ago
...See more Hi everyone! I hope you have been well. Another week, another post on cognitive distortion. I hope you have gotten the chance to read the previous posts. If not, you can do so here!  [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/Learningaboutcognitivedistortions_313974/] I was thinking of what distortion to tackle next and then I came across one that I believe most human beings can benefit from. It is ‘Comparison’. So it should be noted that not all comparison is bad, nor can we classify them every time we compare something as bad. It is at some level required for us to make sense of things. For example, we compare the prices of different products before making a selection, we weigh out the pros and cons of selecting a certain school for a specific degree, all that is perfectly fine. It is even okay to compare our life situations with someone else to feel inspired! Your friend who failed half the classes last year is scoring As this year, how inspiring! Nothing wrong with feeling more motivated to do better on your grades.  However, where it becomes an issue is when we fixate on other’s accomplishments and don’t give ourselves enough credit. So if you feel bad because your friend is improving more in grades than you are then its an issue. Or we pick out the setbacks of someone to feel better about our lack of effort. In both cases, comparing our situation with someone else when we don’t have all the facts or we have vastly different circumstances.  Examples of ways in which comparison is not helpful with a potential reality in the brackets to help you reflect on what we miss when we make these comparisons.  * My friend is so much happier than me. She can buy anything she likes. (Her parents are rich but the family never spends any real time together. She wishes she could have a family like yours) * Stacey looks so much better than me. She just naturally likes healthy foods. I wish I was like that (Stacey struggles with an eating disorder and is not comfortable making that public) * My neighbor bought a brand-new car, mine breaks down every other week. This just sucks (The neighbor is a retired 60-year-old person, and you are 30, and it is natural to not be able to afford the same)  Comparison as a cognitive distortion is a tad bit tricky. It's a problem when it becomes recurrent and it starts to bother you. If you are consistently finding yourself living your life just trying to catch up to everyone else without real consideration for what you truly want, then you need to address it. Some reasons why we compare: * We want to fit in. We think we won’t be accepted if we won’t look a certain way, have certain things. This could be true for certain groups of people. But that just means they are not a good fit for you. If you need to maintain a lifestyle beyond your means to fit in with a group of people, they are not your people! * We feel insecure, we lack self-esteem so we look around ourselves hoping to feel better if we can have a better house or more popular friends then perhaps we are worthy? In reality, no materialistic thing or a social group can help you feel more secure/increase your self-esteem. That's a job for yourself.  * Society insists we follow certain standards. Perhaps your mom comments on your weight which makes you want to look a certain way. Maybe your rich friends are more respected than you are and you crave that respect but society is not a reliable friend. The standards can change and the same things it pushed for can again become undesirable.  So well what do we do about our need to have things simply because someone has them or be like someone else because they seem happier? We can work on our self esteem and sense of worth. Here are a few ways we can work on it: * Starting and ending your day on a grateful note. Start your day thinking of what you have, not what you don’t and end it on the same note.  * Consistently incorporate some way you can feel fulfilled or useful. Volunteering is typically a good way to go about it. You can volunteer at your local animal shelter, some local charity or even 7 Cups! But you need to do something you truly care for.  * Make an attempt to reflect on what you are missing when you are idolizing a certain someone or something. Is it really something you want or does that help you feel a certain way you desire to feel? Do you want that better car because its reliable or because you like the way people treat your neighbor when he drives it.  *  Realize that if you did not have what you have now, there is a good chance you would be jealous of yourself.  So for this post we are gonna practice reframing a bit differently. Here is how we will tackle our need to compare. I encourage you to do this for a week! 1. Start your day by recalling 3 things you are grateful for. End the day with the same. This can be the same things every day or different, does not matter. Could be so small as a good cup of coffee or as big as a roof over your head.  2. Every day do something for someone else. Even a smile counts. Listening to a member on 7 cups for a few minutes in a group room counts. Checking in on your stressed-out friend with genuine interest counts.  3. When you find yourself longing for something someone else: * Pause, and ask yourself if it has true value in your life? Do you really need the Gucci perfume your friend bought that you never thought of before this moment? * If not then what are you really desiring? 4. Take a piece of paper, write down every good thing about yourself and truly take a moment to reflect on how many people would love to have these qualities, skills and even possessions. Then reflect on what it would be like if you woke up one day and did not have some of it? Perhaps you go from being great at writing to not know how to write or maybe you lose your ability to play your favorite sport. This negative visualization can bring into perspective the many things you take for granted.  Further Resources: Zero Sum thinking [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HsHangout_1970/CommunityLessonsRecognitionandZeroSumThinking_224428/]
Distortion 6. Fallacy of Change
by Hope
Last post
 8 hours ago
...See more Hi everyone! I hope you are doing well. It's time for our 6th post in the cognitive distortion series [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/Learningaboutcognitivedistortions_313974/]. Today we will talk about the fallacy of change. I find this definition by PsychCentral to best describe this distortion, ‘The fallacy of change has you expecting other people will change their ways to suit your expectations or needs, particularly when you pressure them enough.’ I think part of it is that we often believe our way of the world to be objective or for the lack of a better word, ‘superior’. The way we wish to do things to us appear the best way there is. So when someone or something does not follow our established patterns, we want them or it to change. However, these unrealistic and sometimes unreasonable expectations lead to resentment and general negative feelings. You feel wronged/let down when people/things don’t change.  The other big problem with this way of thinking is that we wait for things to happen to be happy/be at peace. If your parent does not change, you fail to see anything you can do to improve your life quality. It's very easy to feel like you have no power in life and you are a victim of circumstance.  The reality is whether we are right or wrong, things/people rarely change just because we want them to. This quote sums it up quite nicely ‘Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you’ll understand what little chance you have trying to change others.’ - Arnold Glasow.  So in many ways, we need to be aware of this fault in our thinking so we can reduce some of the added misery/negativity in our lives that come from our need for others to change.  Examples: * You have made a friend who has always liked partaking in sports as a social activity. He loves to play tennis with his friends so much so that he only meets his friends when he is playing a sport.  You met him when you tried the game, and became friends but you could not appreciate the game. Now you are showing up to play games to hang out with your friend but deep down you are waiting for this person to change their desired hang-out spots to suit your needs.  * You took a course that is heavy on memorization. You struggle with memorization and fail to see its value. You believe the course should be changed to better suit the learning goals of today. The professor refuses your request and that has you upset.  * You joined a company where existing people deal with office politics. You don’t want to play the game and you are hoping they will change their ways to create a better workspace.  You can typically identify this pattern as it often starts with ‘If Only…’  If you noticed the demands/expectations of these examples are not that unreasonable but still the chances of the situation changing are low. When you know your new friend drives joy from his sporty meetings, there is little chance he will change what works for him. The course you took, you knew what it was, so why would a whole class change to suit you even when you are right? The company you joined is set in its ways, even if yours is superior, other than heartbreak not much will come out of your desire to change the workplace.  Even worse, when you refuse to see things for what it is. You end up at risk for some negative outcomes. You may lose a friend if you wish for him to change, and you may fail a course if you don’t manage your expectations. As always let’s challenge our negative thoughts and break these patterns that hold us back To practice shifting our perspective and helping us not feed unrealistic expectations: * Let's reflect on a time when we expected something/someone to change. How did that end up working out? * What would you have done differently if you knew about this fallacy?  Further Resources The Fallacy of Change [https://youtu.be/ZEZlzP7_ZnQ?si=sI3jGrBQUJQNJ7nQ]
Distortion 8. Labelling
by Hope
Last post
 8 hours ago
...See more Hi everyone! I hope you are doing well. Time for another cognitive distortion post. Today we will be talking about ‘Labeling’. Labeling can be seen as a more extreme form of overgeneralization. As the name suggests, it involves assigning labels to yourself, others, and events. Examples of labeling: * Classifying someone as innocent or sneaky based on one interaction.  * Thinking you are stupid for not doing well in a specific field  * Believing someone else is not competent based on one or two skills alone.  Like most cognitive distortions, it will at times overlap with other distortions such as generalization and binary thinking (black-and-white thinking). What makes it stand out is the focus on labels.  What we can learn from this distortion is to pause when we put a label on ourselves, someone else, or something, especially a negative label, and truly reflect on the validity of that label. Is your friend really awful for ignoring you or is he struggling to cope with his changed environment and as a result unable to respond to you? You may think why you would want to stop labeling. Because it paints a false picture of reality and stops you from seeing things as they are and many times makes you more miserable than you have to be. When we label someone, something, or even ourselves, it really disrupts our peace and at times makes it hard for us to appreciate people and even our own selves. People and situations are often too complex to fit into these labels. A better way of seeing things is to label behaviors rather than individuals, this way you can actually provide constructive feedback or even work on fixing those behaviors within you. If you believe you suck at making friends, that's not helpful but if you reflect on it and realize you have trouble starting conversations, you can now work on it without feeling poorly about yourself. It's also more specific and therefore more actionable. Let us again practice reframing our thoughts! For this distortion, it is helpful to reflect on why you gave it the label and what facts/observations can oppose the label so you can see the whole picture We will use the same technique we have been using in other posts: 📢Points of Action: * Find out your personal hit rate (how accurate your negative assumptions are), don’t just assume, look into your past and get an accurate percentage. (You can skip this if you recall yours from our last posts) * Counter your negative thoughts with counter-positive thoughts based on logic/facts/experience.  Reflect on a time when you labeled something or someone and later changed your mind. Please share with us! 
October 2024 Forum Spotlight
by tommy
Last post
 11 hours ago
...See more October 2024 Forum Spotlight It's that time of the month again where we join together to celebrate the opportunities available to us across the forum. There are two core purposes of our forum spotlight: one to spotlight forum discussions more widely and two to showcase the amazing work of those community users who go above and beyond to help ensure everyone gets a reply to their thread. Here is an overview of our forum discussions for this month: * I'm Just Me Because Month [https://www.7cups.com/forum/trauma/CheckinsandPrompts_1095/TraumaSupportCommunityCheckInforOctober2024ImJustMeBecauseMonth_338157/] * World Mental Health Day [https://www.7cups.com/forum/disabilities/ArticlesResourcesConditionSpecificInformation_458/WorldMentalHealthDay_338207/] * How can I manage changes and life transitions? [https://www.7cups.com/forum/relationships/CopingToolsResourcesforRelationships_1161/RelationshipSupportDiscussionWaystoManageChangesandLifeTransitionsTogether_338525/] * POTS World Day [https://www.7cups.com/forum/disabilities/ArticlesResourcesConditionSpecificInformation_458/POTSWorldDayPosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome_339066/] * Inclusive Trick or Treating [https://www.7cups.com/forum/disabilities/CommunitySpace_227/InclusiveTrickorTreating_339078/] * Parenting Teenagers [https://www.7cups.com/forum/parenting/Parenting_2568/ParentingTeenagers_339581/] Looking to help us with forum engagement? Join our forum team by clicking here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/7cupsleadership/CommunitiesHelpWanted_2306/Soyouwanttobeaforumleader_334833/]. Here is our leaderboard for our monthly engagement challenge (with the number of needs reply posts answered): @Sunisshiningandsoareyou 204 @GentleHealingInitiative 101 @Phoenixthepoised 19 @Optimisticempath 17 You can find out more about this engagement initiative here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/EventsDiscussions_2666/Introducingournewandimprovedforumengagementchallenge_335791/] (including the link to participate). Are you wanting to get involved with this initiative for the month of November? Let us know about it by replying down below this forum spotlight! Please join me in congratulating our fantastic forum engagers down below! 🔗 Links * Do you want to join our taglist so you are notified of the next spotlight? Click here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/7cupsleadership/ProjectsEvents_2399/ForumEventsAutomatedTaglist_316255/]! * Do you have a thread which you've recently posted that you feel could be highlighted in our next monthly spotlight? Or perhaps you've noticed another thread which you think could be featured in our spotlight? Let us know about it here [https://forms.gle/wGWYW4izzS2Ukrrq6]!
Members - Welcome to 7 Cups! Introduce yourself Here!
by Hope
Last post
 20 hours ago
...See more Welcome to everyone who's joined our lovely community! This post is outdated and no longer in use. Be sure to introduce yourself in our new official welcome thread for all users! Click here! [https://www.7cups.com/forum/welcome/WelcomeIntroductionsto7Cups_1163/Welcometo7CupsIntroduceyourselfhere_331308/] - This post is dedicated to welcoming members. If you are a listener, please show support to the members who post here! Listeners can introduce themselves here. [https://www.7cups.com/forum/NewbieHub_27/WelcomeIntroductionsto7Cups_1163/Welcometo7CupsIntroduceyourselfHere_225605/] Hi there! We are so excited you joined 7 Cups! Allow us to welcome you by posting in this thread! Please tell us why you are here and what topic are you seeking support for? How can we best support you? Here is a resource you may find helpful: Find Welcome Pack here! [https://www.7cups.com/forum/GroupSupport_168/CommunityManagersOffice_2008/Introducing7CupsWelcomePackMembersListeners_238986/] ------------------------- Practice compassion and empathy for yourself and others. Also, on successful completion, get a chance to earn a shiny badge known as "Compassion Hero". Open Here! [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScMEXP6lopKu4ZJAtmctmwk0vq9Fp7T892gWJteqmQoIJa_Dg/viewform] edited by ASilentObserver as of Feb 17, 2021
Listeners - Welcome to 7 Cups! Introduce yourself Here!
by Hope
Last post
 21 hours ago
...See more Welcome to everyone who's joined our lovely community! This post is outdated and no longer in use. Be sure to introduce yourself in our new official welcome thread for all users! Click here! [https://www.7cups.com/forum/welcome/WelcomeIntroductionsto7Cups_1163/Welcometo7CupsIntroduceyourselfhere_331308/] - This post is dedicated to welcoming Listeners. Members can introduce themselves here. [https://www.7cups.com/forum/Welcome_27/WelcomeIntroductionsto7Cups_1163/MembersWelcometo7CupsIntroduceyourselfHere_227534/] Hi everyone! I hope you are doing well. Welcome to 7 Cups! We are so excited to have you with us!! Please tell us what brought you here and what you would like to offer support on? You are not alone! We are here with you every step of the journey! Here is a resource you may find helpful: Find Welcome Pack here! [https://www.7cups.com/forum/GroupSupport_168/CommunityManagersOffice_2008/Introducing7CupsWelcomePackMembersListeners_238986/] edited by ASilentObserver as of Feb 17, 2021
Distortion No. 4: Personalization
by Hope
Last post
 22 hours ago
...See more Hi everyone! I hope you are well. Thank you for participating in our cognitive distortion series. You can check out all the previous posts in this series here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/Learningaboutcognitivedistortions_313974/].  Today we will be talking about a very important cognitive distortion. I believe reframing this type of thinking can greatly improve the quality of your life. It is ‘personalization’. Personalization is one of the cognitive distortions where you believe that things are connected to you even though you have nothing to do with them. Another way people fall prey to personalization is when they believe they are responsible for things outside of their control.  Examples of personalization and in the brackets are what usually is the reality:  * My friend did not pair with me for this project, he does not value me. (In reality the teacher asked the friend to pair up with X person to ensure X person is well supported) * I was 15 minutes late to class. My professor must think I am so tardy (so is half the class, the professor realized the traffic must be bad.) * My partner broke up with me because I am not a good enough person to stay in a long distance relationship with  (Your partner broke up because she was moving away and did not wish to do long distance, which had nothing to do with your worth) * If I had only reminded my sister to carry her sweater to her practice, she would not have caught this cold (There is no guarantee the lack of a sweater caused the cold, nor are you responsible for preventing it) * My boss has been so reserved and quiet all day. It must be that I could not submit my report on time (Your boss is sick and does not have the energy to communicate more than needed, your boss does not even remember the report delay) The key thing in this cognitive distortion is taking things personally. It's important to understand that a sense of responsibility/accountability in life is important. It helps you lead a fulfilling life. However, to be able to take responsibility and be accountable for what is truly your responsibility, you need to learn what is related to you and what is not. Here are some areas/examples where it is reasonable to feel accountable/responsible: * How you process your emotions/feelings (Getting angry is not up to you but how you process your anger is up to you) * To arrive on time for a meeting (even if the other person is late, you are only responsible for your time management) * To leave with a reasonable time gap for something important (Even if you meet unexpected traffic and end up getting late, so what? Happens to all of us) You taking responsibility for your actions does not save you from unexpected detours in your ideal plan. Take them as an expected and consistent part of life and these should not deter you from doing the right thing! The reason why this post has also explained what responsibility/accountability can look like is so people don’t confuse a lack of accountability as correcting personalization. So we need to separate what is not our problem (in simple terms) so that we can have the energy to deal with the very many problems that are our responsibility.  We will use the same technique for practice as before. The reason for the same technique is so we can get very used to thinking this way when we are faced with unhelpful thoughts.  📢Points of Action: * Find out your personal hit rate (how accurate your negative assumptions are), don’t just assume, look into your past and get an accurate percentage. (You can skip this if you recall this from our last post) * Counter your stressful thoughts with positive thoughts based on logic/facts/experience.  ⭐After practicing this with at least one thought. Tell us about your experience with this exercise. ⭐ How often do you engage in personalization and how does it impact your life?  Further Reading/Resources Video explanation of the distortion [https://youtu.be/E7yf7lNhkzM?si=3Yy_uUnq_IXFSX9u] Responsibility Pie worksheet [https://www.selfhelptoons.com/personalization-and-blame-reducing-guilt-and-shame/] (Highly recommended)
Distortion 5. Emotional Reasoning
by Hope
Last post
 23 hours ago
...See more Hi everyone! Thank you for following our learning about cognitive distortions series. You have shown great courage by challenging your negative thoughts and putting in consistent effort to reframe your mindset. All this consistent work will pay off! Today we will talk about another common cognitive distortion that can mess with our minds. It is called ‘Emotional Reasoning’ also known as ‘Feeling Driven Thinking’. Simply put it's a fault in our thinking where we rely on our feelings to decide if something is true, even when the evidence states otherwise. It does overlap with already discussed cognitive distortions such as mind reading and catastrophizing. Still, it's important to look at this alone as we need to understand that regardless of the intensity of our emotions, feelings alone don’t dictate whether something is true/false, right or wrong.  Example: * You feel guilty because you had to cancel a meeting with a friend. You believe you did something wrong based on your feelings of guilt when in fact you had no choice but to cancel as you fell sick.  * You believe your teacher could never treat someone poorly as she is always nice to you. When in fact several people have stated experiencing unjust treatment.  * You suspect your partner is cheating on you but there is no clear evidence that can support this feeling * You believe you are not worthy of a role, despite having done many projects with the skill set needed to complete this new role.  * You think no one cares about you as you feel lonely but people consistently reach out to you and make an attempt to include you in their events/meet-ups.  It is important to understand that your feelings are valid and there is plenty of room for you to sit with them. However, your feelings do not dictate reality. It's important to make this distinction that how you feel does not equal how it is! This empowers you to see the world beyond the lens of emotions open yourself up for more opportunities and avoid unnecessary heartbreak.  As always we will try to use facts/evidence to counter these strong thoughts and feelings so we can have a more neutral view of life.  📢Points of Action: Find out your personal hit rate (how accurate your negative assumptions are), don’t just assume, look into your past and get an accurate percentage. (You can skip this if you recall this from our last post) Counter your emotional thoughts with counter-positive thoughts based on logic/facts/experience.  ⭐After practicing this with at least one thought. Tell us about your experience with this exercise. ⭐ When was the last time you engaged in emotional reasoning and what likely was the truth of the situation based on facts/evidence?  Additional Resources Emotional Reasoning [https://www.psychologytools.com/resource/emotional-reasoning/] ------------------------- This post is part of the 'Learning about cognitive distortions series'. The series starts here! [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/Learningaboutcognitivedistortions_313974/]
Learning about Cognitive Distortions: Distortion No.1: Catastrophizing
by Hope
Last post
 1 day ago
...See more Hi everyone! I hope you are doing well. Last week I announced the cognitive distortion series. You can read about it here. [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/Learningaboutcognitivedistortions_313974/] Today we will be looking at the first cognitive distortion of the series, ‘catastrophizing’. Catastrophizing is when a person focuses on the worst possible outcome and treats it as likely, even when it is not. Some common examples: * I am not feeling better after this treatment. I will never get better. * I will for sure fail this test because I forgot to study chapter X. * I could not keep up with my exercise regime, I will never become physically fit. * I have not been able to keep in touch with my friend. I bet he is no longer my friend * I forgot to put the right spacing in my essay. That's it, there goes my A in this course. Other names for the distortion are magnifying, and negative fortune telling. We get what catastrophizing is now and it's likely we all do it, some more than others. But how do we tackle this, how do we stop assuming the worst possible outcome? We can do this by engaging in the following: (Taken from Glen’s post on How to Worry Less and Not Panic [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/GlensNookCommunity_547/HowtoWorryLessandNotPanic_300790/]) * What are the odds: On a scale of 1-100%, how likely is this to happen? “Okay, if I had $1000 in my pocket now, would I bet that $1000 that this would happen?” If the answer is no, then it is likely that I am worrying too much about it. * Your Personal Hit Rate: Think about how often you are right when you think of the worst-case scenarios. Don’t be selective and remember the times you were right, try to think of all the times. Chances are it's less than 2%. Then does it make sense to consider something as true when your past predicting success rate is just 2%? To truly practice reframing your thoughts when it comes to this cognitive distortion. Let's experiment for a week together! * Start a doc/take out a notebook. * Write down your personal hit rate on top of the doc/page so you can remember your level of accuracy as you look at your daunting problems. * Every time you are thinking of the worst outcome, write down what is on your mind. * Then write down another opposing (positive thought) that you believe to be true. This can be hard but if you think enough, you will find it! It helps to look into facts to support your case Due to the nature of these exercises, it is advisable that any interested listeners use their member accounts so they can freely share their experiences. What we are attempting to do is to nudge our minds away from jumping to the worst possible conclusions and present some realistic alternatives that cause us less anguish. 📢Points of Action: (Actual tasks you will need to complete if you wish to avail the series certificate, only available for a limited time) * Find out your personal hit rate, don’t just assume, look into your past and get an accurate percentage. * Counter your catastrophic thoughts with counter-positive thoughts based on logic/facts/experience. * After practicing this with at least one thought. Tell us about your experience with this exercise. 📝To help us get started. Let's all share about a time when we truly believed the worst possible outcome or a very bad outcome was likely but it did not happen. (This is not the task, it is for general discussion, a place for you to start off if you feel stuck) Recommended Resources: * Forum Post: How to Worry Less and Not Pani [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/GlensNookCommunity_547/HowtoWorryLessandNotPanic_300790/]c * Book: How to Stop Worrying and Start Living (Chapter 1) (the book is long, the most relevant chapter to this post is Chapter 1). [https://youtu.be/fKzlc_N2yxw?si=WM-SUIqrVQLg1Is3&t=627] Post edited on Nov 21, 2024 to clarify required tasks. 
Distortion 3. Black and White Thinking
by Hope
Last post
 1 day ago
...See more Hi everyone! I hope you are well. We have covered two distortions so far, catastrophizing [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/LearningaboutCognitiveDistortionsDistortionNo1Catastrophizing_314208] and mind reading [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/Distortion2MindReading_314894]. Please check them out if you have not yet.  Today we will talk about black-and-white thinking, also known as polarized thinking, all-or-nothing, or binary thinking. It is the tendency to think in extremes and ignore grey areas. Either something/someone is great or horrible, no in-between. Healthline, in this article, makes a good point ‘There’s a reason most people don’t live on Everest or in the Mariana Trench. It’s hard to sustain life at those extremes.’ Examples of black-and-white thinking: * Seeing people as good or bad. X is a good person, Y is a bad person. Failing to see grey areas, areas where X is acting poorly or Y is acting in a good manner.  * Seeing something is smart or stupid. Your peer presented a project in class, you failed to see its value and deemed it as entirely stupid. On the other hand you presented a project and dismissed a valuable constructive critique as you believed the project to be good and therefore it has no flaws.  * Thinking you are a failure because you don’t do well in school. You disregard your other strengths and focus on the negatives that weigh you down.  * Thinking someone hates you because they were rude to you once.  * Thinking you have no friends as you were unable to meet your friends for a month due to busy schedules.  The reality is that most of life happens in grey areas. People are far more complex than being good or bad. Similarly, situations we face are often not all good or bad. There are times when we face exceptions to this rule, something tragic happens or we lose someone we love. However, in this post we are talking about the tendency to think black or white in general, creating a pessimistic point of view in life.  We will use the same technique that we have been using in other posts where we train ourselves to not think in extremes.  📢Points of Action: Find out your personal hit rate (how accurate your negative assumptions are), don’t just assume, look into your past and get an accurate percentage. (You can skip this if you recall this from our last post) Counter your black-and-white thoughts with counter-positive thoughts based on logic/facts/experience.  ⭐After practicing this with at least one thought. Tell us about your experience with this exercise. ⭐ When was the last time you engaged in black-and-white thinking and what actually ended up happening? Further Reading How Black and White Thinking Hurts You (and What You Can Do to Change It) [https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/black-and-white-thinking] 🗒️If you are interested in making a post or more in this series. Please reach out to me via PMs. 
Distortion 10. Mental Filtering
by Hope
Last post
 1 day ago
...See more Hi everyone!  How's everyone feeling this week? Thank you for following our cognitive distortion series. It is time to cover the final cognitive distortion of this series called ‘Mental Filtering’.  Think of it as a spotlight, but one that illuminates only the negative aspects of your experiences, leaving the positives shrouded in darkness. As with many distortions, you may find it overlapping it with covered distortions but also have a unique element of its own which is why it is covered in a separate post. The difference between mental filter and catastrophizing is, the mental filter is like wearing clouded glasses that don’t allow you to see bright colors, meanwhile catastrophizing is like hearing a fire alarm go off every time you see a candle flicker or a pan show a hint of smoke.  Catastrophizing is a lot more intense and negative, meanwhile, mental filters can be harder to spot because they feel more real and are less subtle. Instead of blowing things out of proportion, you are just choosing to look at all the negatives and discount the negatives. Catastrophizing can feel like ‘I can see one cloud, it will rain and my outdoor picnic is canceled’. While mental filter can be ‘It has rained 3 times this month when I had outdoor plans, the weather is always bad’’ while discounting the fact that you were able to do 4 outdoor activities during the same month because it did not rain on those days.   So, what's the deal with this filter? Essentially, it works like this: * Magnifying flaws: Remember that presentation where you stumbled over a point? Mental filtering blows it up into a neon sign announcing "Public Humiliation!". Meanwhile, those insightful remarks and audience engagement? Meh, barely a flicker on the radar. * Discounting positives: Received a compliment on your writing? Mental filtering whispers, "Just being nice." Did you fail that exam? "Must have been an easy one." Any positive feedback gets dismissed as irrelevant or accidental. * Selective memory: Think about it – every awkward moment, every rejection, every critical comment replaying on repeat in your mind? Yeah, that's mental filtering  There are many ways to break free but we will focus on the high-impact ones.  * Reflect on the positives, and try to note down all the opposing (positive evidence) to the situation you are applying the mental filter to. * Gratitude journal: Every day, jot down three things you're grateful for – a funny incident, a kind gesture, a personal triumph. It trains your brain to actively seek out the good stuff, like a positivity magnet. This is an important way to long term reframe this distortion and avoid many similar ones. Think of a time you looked at a situation with the mental filter glasses on and how did that work out? What would you do differently today? What we want to do through reflecting on these distortions is to make life easier for us. Life is hard, I don’t need to tell you that, you already know it. But does it make sense to worsen our situation by indulging in negative thoughts? So let's reflect on all these distortions and save ourselves from additional misery. We have a lot more control over the quality of our thoughts than we give ourselves credit for.  This is a wrap on the cognitive distortion series. Thank you to everyone who participated, I am very proud of all of you who challenged your negative thoughts, its really hard to reason with our brains and I see the effort you have put in. Remember to submit the series eval form [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdZ-Svf0igRTYst5y-r8m21scUltfV5-cfWxLyzM-tPwvLTVw/viewform]
Distortion 2. Mind Reading
by Hope
Last post
 1 day ago
...See more Hi everyone! I hope you are doing well. In our learning about cognitive distortions series, today we will tackle ‘Mind reading’. If you have not taken part in the catastrophizing post, please do so here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/LearningaboutCognitiveDistortionsDistortionNo1Catastrophizing_314208/] Mind reading like the name suggests is when we assume we know what someone else is thinking and are convinced that it is the case and there is no real verification/fact checking of it. It is important to acknowledge that this is not all bad, at some level mind reading can help us read a situation like when your friend smiles, you know they liked your joke. Similarly, if someone’s jaw drops we can tell they are surprised. But these ‘assumptions’ are based on something more concrete like a physical action and are not negative. It becomes a problem when we have nothing to base our assumptions on and they are negative in nature.  Examples of Mind reading: * I failed this test, my teacher must think I am so stupid * I was late to my friend’s birthday. He must think I don’t care for him enough to show up on time * I was supposed to get the callback yesterday from my job application, but the interviewer must have failed me.  * My partner has been quieter than usual, he must have gotten fed up with me.  To help us reframe this distortion, we will use the same techniques as the last post! These techniques can help you reframe all sorts of distortions and repeatedly practicing with them can help us get in the habit of using these models.  📢Points of Action: * Find out your personal hit rate (how accurate your negative assumptions are), don’t just assume, look into your past and get an accurate percentage. (You can skip this if you recall this from our last post) * Counter your mind-reading thoughts with counter-positive thoughts based on logic/facts/experience.  ⭐After practicing this with at least one thought. Tell us about your experience with this exercise. ⭐ When was the last time you engaged in mind reading and what actually ended up happening? Examples  * I thought my friend was mad at me but it turns out he was just having a rough day * I thought my teacher hated me but I misread her firm approach as personal dislike. It turns out her firm approach helped me get a better grade.  Further Reading/Recommended Resources How to stop worrying and start living chapter 4 [https://youtu.be/fKzlc_N2yxw?si=aFCJq4qQdNYVGB8J&t=2980] ------------------------- Join or leave the tag list here [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfChtZ6VwA_T5ug1RQT4T7RzPdBCxgMpV4cQWhPkYLgN33T-Q/viewform]

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