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Active Listening in Group Support
“There is a difference between truly listening and waiting for your turn to talk.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Active listening is a vital part of being a group supporter. Active listening, in group support, is the ability to focus completely on the participants, to understand their messages, and respond thoughtfully. Engage with and reply to participant messages while in the group support room. Use reflection, empathy, and validation. Being supportive, non-judgmental, professional, thoughtful, and compassionate of all participants is the key to being an active listener.
What is Active Listening?
Active listening is the process by which an individual secures information from another individual or group. It involves paying attention to the conversation, not interrupting, and taking the time to understand what the speaker is discussing. The “active” element involves taking steps to draw out details that might not otherwise be shared.
Active listening techniques include:
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Building trust and establishing rapport
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Demonstrating concern
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Paraphrasing to show understanding
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Asking open-ended questions
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Asking specific questions to seek clarification
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Disclosing similar experiences to show understanding
(Source accessed 11/16/2021 https://www.thebalancecareers.com/active-listening-skills-with-examples-2059684 [https://www.thebalancecareers.com/active-listening-skills-with-examples-2059684])
What is Reflection?
Reflection is a type of listening that involves paying respectful attention to the content and feeling expressed in another persons’ communication. Reflection is hearing and understanding, and then letting the other know that he or she is being heard and understood. It requires responding actively to another while keeping your attention focused completely on the speaker. In reflective listening, you do not offer your own perspective but instead carefully keep the focus on the other’s need or problem. Reflecting is expressing to the other the essence of the content and feelings you hear as well as summarizing what is said. These responses are used throughout the exchange whenever a significant segment of the communication is heard.
Examples of reflective responses may include:
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You sound…
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You’re feeling…/You feel...
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You feel (emotion) when (this situation happens)...
Reflection offers a number of benefits:
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It lets the speaker know that she or he has been heard, understood, cared for, and supported.
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It allows you to check your own accuracy in hearing what the other has said.
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It helps the other focus on self, vent, sort out issues, express feelings, and deal more effectively with emotions.
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It helps the other to think and articulate more clearly.
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It helps the other arrive at a solution to his or her own problem.
(Source accessed accessed 11/16/2021 https://www.maxwell.syr.edu/uploadedfiles/parcc/cmc/reflective%20listening%20nk.pdf [https://www.maxwell.syr.edu/uploadedfiles/parcc/cmc/reflective%20listening%20nk.pdf])
In summary, reflection is hearing what is being said, restating what you’ve heard in your own words, and asking clarifying questions for better understanding.
What is Validation?
Validation is the recognition and acceptance of another person's thoughts, feelings, sensations, and behaviors as understandable. Validating an emotion does not mean that you agree with the other person or that you think their emotional response is warranted. Rather, you communicate to them that you understand what they are feeling without trying to talk them out of the feeling or shame them for the feeling.
When you validate an emotional response, the first step is to acknowledge the emotion that the other person is having. Using open ended questions will help you in situations where the participant may have trouble naming their emotions. Using open ended questions, you may also discover more about the situation or cue that triggered the emotions. Being heard, without judgement, goes a long way in helping someone feel validated. Remember, we all have the right to feel the way we do emotionally. When using validation, it’s important that we resist the urge to give advice, try to ‘fix’ the situation, or insert your opinion because, by doing so, we are invalidating and passing judgement on the person or their situation.
Examples of Validation:
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I can see how you would feel that way.
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That must be really hard.
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I feel the same way.
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How frustrating!
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I bet you're frustrated.
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I'm here for you.
Benefits of Validation:
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When you validate someone's emotions, you are showing that you care about and accept them for who they are.
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People who show each other acceptance are able to feel more connected and build stronger relationships.
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When you validate someone's emotions, you are showing them that they are important to you.
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When people feel that others hear and understand them, it can help lessen the intensity of strong emotions. This can be particularly important when it comes to strong negative or distressing feelings.
(Source: Accessed 11/20/2020 https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-emotional-validation-425336#why-validation-is-important [https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-emotional-validation-425336#why-validation-is-important])
What is Empathy?
Empathy is the ability to emotionally understand what other people feel, see things from their point of view, and imagine yourself in their place. Essentially, it is putting yourself in someone else's shoes and feeling what they must be feeling. For example, perhaps you saw someone bump their head. You didn’t automatically feel their pain but you can imagine what the pain of bumping your head would be like.
While sympathy and compassion are related to empathy, there are important differences. Compassion and sympathy are often thought to involve more of a passive connection, while empathy generally involves a much more active attempt to understand another person.
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Sympathy: When you are sympathetic, you are not experiencing another’s feelings. Instead, you are able to understand what the person is feeling. You are not feeling that person’s pain, but you want the participant to know you are aware of their feelings.
(Source: Accessed 11/20/202 1https://compassionit.com/2017/08/27/empathy-sympathy-and-compassion-whats-the-difference/#:~:text=1%20Empathy%20means%20that%20you%20feel%20what%20a,the%20willingness%20to%20relieve%20the%20suffering%20of%20another [https://compassionit.com/2017/08/27/empathy-sympathy-and-compassion-whats-the-difference/#:~:text=1%20Empathy%20means%20that%20you%20feel%20what%20a,the%20willingness%20to%20relieve%20the%20suffering%20of%20another])
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Compassion: It is important to note that compassion involves more than just empathy. Compassion helps people feel what others are feeling, but also compels them to help others and relieve their suffering. As a Community Leader, simply listening with your full presence is one of the most compassionate acts you can offer. However, we are unable to ‘fix’ or relieve a participant’s situation. (Source Accessed 11/20/2021 https://compassionit.com/2017/08/27/empathy-sympathy-and-compassion-whats-the-difference/#:~:text=1%20Empathy%20means%20that%20you%20feel%20what%20a,the%20willingness%20to%20relieve%20the%20suffering%20of%20another [https://compassionit.com/2017/08/27/empathy-sympathy-and-compassion-whats-the-difference/#:~:text=1%20Empathy%20means%20that%20you%20feel%20what%20a,the%20willingness%20to%20relieve%20the%20suffering%20of%20another].)
Benefits of Empathy:
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Empathy allows us to build connections with others. By understanding what participants are feeling, you are able to respond appropriately in social situations.
Barriers to Empathy:
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Victim Blaming: Sometimes when another person has suffered a terrible experience, people make the mistake of blaming the victim for their circumstances. This tendency stems from the need to believe that the world is a fair and just place. People want to believe that people get what they deserve and deserve what they get.
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Dehumanization: Thinking that people who are different (culturally, physically, or different ages, for example) from us also don't feel and behave the same as we do. Some might be less likely to feel empathy if they think that those we are supporting are fundamentally different from ourselves.
(Souce Accessed 11/20/2021 https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-empathy-2795562 [https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-empathy-2795562])
As a Community Leader, you will be using active listening in your group support sessions. Sometimes, it is a little more difficult to apply your active listening skills to a group. One way you can use your skills is to use the member’s name when you reply as it shows you are hearing what they are saying. Another way to acknowledge the participants is by reading the room. If, for example, the room is sharing funny stories about family, you can offer encouragement to the room to continue sharing their stories. It’s okay for you to share a short, funny story of your own, too, if you feel comfortable doing so. Remember, if a participant might need personalized support, it is okay to offer the participant the link to connect with 1-1 support with a listener.
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