Thoughtful Thursday: Need for companionship

Understanding the need for companionship

• Companionship is one of our basic needs. Although the intensity of the need varies for everyone, we all seem to have it. It can be anyone ranging from friends to partners.

• Not fulfilling this need can make us feel isolated from the rest of society. It can feel like you're one unit and everyone else is another unit. This may make social situations or even just being out in the public uneasy and exhausting.

• Companionship does not equate to losing your personal freedom. It is possible to balance the need with the activities you like to do by yourself.

• Companions offer a mode of support which can be a protective factor from distress. When you have a personality disorder that's causing you some impairment in daily life, having people to support you and just be there can mean a lot.

• However, in some cases it can be difficult obtaining companions when you're struggling. People often steer away from those that are different from them. They might be unable to relate or understand the person who is struggling because their experiences vary drastically. It's especially difficult in cases of odd behaviour (like in cluster A personality disorders).

• Fortunately, there's always people who share similar experiences as us as well as those who are willing to understand and accept them. This makes communities meant for that purpose helpful. It's always nice to be able to hear from others who speak from a place of experience and understanding.

How to find companions?

• You have some interests? Dive into communities where others also have them. You can also explore other interests or hobbies and hear from people who are already into it to see if you might enjoy it. Example: something broad like sketching or something specific like a sport or TV series. There's communities for everything online! In a lot of places, they have offline communities as well.

• Get to know your acquaintances more. Reach out to old ones, maybe some people you want to know or even liked talking to in the past. Even if it doesn't work out all the time, that's okay. Perhaps it's worth trying. I often do this: I text people I haven't talked to in months and really get to know what they have been up to. These conversations can be fun and interesting!

• Talk to your family and friends. Get to know more about them! It can be nice taking an active role in planning stuff out. A picnic, get together at a restaurant, music event, and so on. Just spending time with others is very valuable.

For some of us, the need for companionship can be even more difficult to fulfill. This can be because of various reasons such as 1. Not having the framework of social skills required to initiate conversations. 2. Anxiety on trying out social endeavours because of past experiences or hurts.

In such cases, it's nice to talk to people who you know will be supportive. Support platforms like 7 Cups, professional counselors/therapists, and so on. It helps get a headstart which might be all you need!

Questions

Q1. How do you satisfy your need for companionship?

Q2. Any other thoughts about the topic?

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