Community Leadership #1: What is a Community Leader?

@ASilentObserver

I think you covered it overall. Being a leader does not mean you are above others or better than them. It is just means to do more and better with the experience and skills. At least that is what I think.

This is a great post which would make leaders think about what and how they should do things. Thank you!

@Brahmm Thank you Brahmm. It seems this post resonated with your view that being a leader is about serving others with your skills and experience, not about being above them. What feelings come up for you in considering effective leadership? 

@ASilentObserver

Feelings like being considerate, being accurate, doing the right thing by assessing the situation. For us here on cups, we know that we are here for our own personal reasons, be it helping others or getting help. Keeping in mind that everyone is going through something, it is very hard. Even I fail at it sometimes, but I have seen you do it very calmly. So, I guess we need an Interview from you. We all can learn from you. I personally concentrate on these things that I have mentioned. A great leader is strong but also compassionate and considering, one who people admire because of the leader's actions and can trust.

@Brahmm Thank you for sharing your thoughts on effective leadership. It sounds like being considerate, accurate and doing the right thing by assessing each situation carefully are very important values to you. I am glad to hear that in your role here you aim to help others while also taking care of yourself. Being a supportive presence for others during difficult times can certainly be challenging at times. You are dedicated to learning from each experience which is great approach <3 

@Brahmm "[Being a leader] means to do more and better with the experience and skills." Lovely, Brahmm!

@ASilentObserver

I think leadership happens in a group (small like a group of friends or huge like a large country, think of Gandhi...) when some person becomes a catalyst and "makes things happen". 

This person, the leader, aligns the energies of others towards a common goal.

In organizations, specialized teams and groups are formed. Each team has a person in charge of conducting it. A formal leader. They might use formal power, "soft power", group dynamics skills, or ideally a combination of all to align the energies of team members towards achieving the team's goal. Or to enliven a group in a positive direction. 

In all large organizations, there are teams formed by the leaders of various teams, in a hierarchical structure that makes it possible to align the efforts of the whole organization towards a common shared goal or mission.

A formal leader might not be a true leader if they don't "make things happen", if they don't mobilize the team or enliven a group but just sit there. They might have the "role" but do nothing, or just comply with its formal requirements.

On the other hand, there might be people without any formal role or power, who are group catalysts, who make things happen.

To give an illustrious example here at Cups, Lola, @Tinywhisper11 is a Member without any role. But she takes the initiative, bonds and enlivens groups, involving them in common activities, from fun to deep reflection. She has the talent to make it interesting, and the charisma and social skills to attract, bond and mobilize people. Lola is an outstanding Leader in the 7 Cups Community despite not having any formal role. There are many cases like this in our Community. 

By the way, there is in Cups a particular use of the word "Leader" that encompasses valuable activities by volunteers that don't involve leadership in the above sense. Someone can be a very valuable member of an organization, contributing a lot in a specialized task involving much skill and effort, but not leading people. They might be part of a highly skilled team, but not the leader. 

The engineer who calculates the structural strength of a building, but will never be at the construction site, the anesthesiologist who plays a critical role in surgery under the leadership of a surgeon, or the columnist in a newspaper who writes the main articles, all make crucial contributions, and they are not leaders in their organizations. Huge contributions are made without "Leadership". Service to a noble cause is the ultimate good, I think, and Leadership is one of many ways of Service to a Community.

On the other hand, ideally, every member of a team should prepare to take a leadership position.  Even if they are not already their leaders, they should develop a "seed of leadership" ready to germinate and bloom, for the good of the Team and the Community. As Napoleon envisioned: "Every French soldier carries in his backpack the baton of a Marshal of France." 

@HealingTalk I love you ❤❤❤

We owe you so much, Lola!

🌼 🌼 🌼 

@Tinywhisper11

@HealingTalk Thank you for sharing your thoughtful perspective on leadership and community, Healing. It seems this is an area you have given much consideration to. I agree with you that leadership can indeed take many forms, both formal and informal, and bringing people together toward common goals is so important. What experiences have led to your interest in exploring different types of leadership?

Thank you, Obs!

I was always interested in group dynamics and political science, out of curiosity, where various authors explored this topic.

In life, I sang in choirs, belonged to NGOs, and of course the workplace. And now this wonderful, buzzing Community. All places where I witnessed leadership and its crucial role.

Thank you again for bringing up this fascinating and relevant topic in such a thought-provoking and interesting way, and for creating this space for sharing ideas!

@ASilentObserver

@HealingTalk Thank you for sharing your experiences exploring leadership through different communities. It seems groups and teamwork have always been of interest to you. You have witnessed much, and I am glad this space allows continued learning. It is an honor working with you to support the community. 

@HealingTalk "A leader is a catalyst." I totally resonate with this view. And could not agree more that @Tinywhisper11 is a great leader in our community. They have a charm and a spell, we need their magic! Telling you from my experience of Lola in the Positivity Room, when Lola is there, it becomes a festival very quickly! Now that's something to be inspired by and learn from! A leader would bring life to the party [or to a project/common goal/cause etc.], above all! Obs @ASilentObserver does it so perfectly too. When Obs is there in any chatroom [and even in forums such as this one], productive discussions or a fun time start happening very quickly!

@HealingTalk

I totally agree with you and I think you have put this idea very eloquently.  A leader is someone that others want to follow.  In that way, they are chosen not by those above them, but by those around them.  A title may be a stamp of approval for leadership, but those who follow determine it. 

Very wise way to express it, Sophia!

I totally agree!

@JustSophia

@ASilentObserver

very cool Obs! 

@Heather225 Thank you Heather <3 

tagging a few people who may enjoy this series, and are great voices of leadership:
@wishfulWillow6962 @SparkyGizmo @Fristo

@Heather225

Hi H! 😊 ❤️ Many thanks my sweet friend! You have no idea how much that means to me!  ❤️  ❤️  ❤️ 

  Thank you for tagging me and this looks to be the start of a wonderful series. (Sorry for the late response. I've been sick for days and still am, but I keep signing on daily and have been bookmarking items to read and respond to).

*high fives* 😊 and big *hugs* ❤️

@SparkyGizmo Thank you for sharing your thoughts on community leadership, sparky. It seems this topic is meaningful to you. I'm glad to hear you find value in connecting with others through discussion. Sharing support and caring for one another can be healing. How have your views on community leadership developed over time?

@ASilentObserver

Hi Obs! 😊 ❤️ Many thanks for this amazing forum post as well as your reply/tagging me! Thank you also for knowing my heart and that indeed, this is a concept that is deeply meaningful to me. 

I loved hearing your thoughts above and I could not agree with you more. There is not one thing that you have said above that I too, have not found an opportunity to express at some point in time while on the platform whether it be in rooms, forums or via pm's in an effort to be helpful to others. 

For me, it's simply a way of "being". It's simply how I am built, concepts I have embraced, internalized and long before I ever became a part of 7 cups. 

Great question Obs! "How have your views on community leadership developed over time"? 

All of the above still holds true for me. Some of my "personal hero's" here on 7 cups have reinforced all of these tenants for me, that my thoughts and feelings apply to this place too and it's been a beautiful process. It's amazing to watch them "live" these concepts in front of us all, to be great examples, to teach us, support us, to be consistent and consistently great! 

Hearing them say certain things around here on the platform can feel as if the universe has spoken, like "mana from heaven" and that they are validating our feelings with out even knowing how badly we needed to hear certain things as leaders in our own rights. Having said that...the biggest change in my views have been that all of these things apply to me too, the things that I say to others. 😊

I am allowed to have boundaries as a leader. I am allowed to have a thought process and I'm allowed to have feelings. I'm allowed to say "no". It's been deeply meaningful to know that I am loved, I am cared for and that I matter too. I'm encouraged to try, but that if I have tried 9, 10, 700 times dependent upon the situation, it's okay to step away from the issue if it's becoming harmful to me as a human being. 

Heathers post in regard to "trust in leadership" https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HsHangout_1970/CommunityLessonsOnBuildingTrustasaLeader_310538/ 

came at a very pivotal moment for me. Some days, if trust has been broken and over the course of years, it's time to move along to other areas. No harm, no foul, let others figure out things for themselves as we all grow at different rates. We all still belong here on the platform and it's a big place with many opportunities to engage and be helpful. 

My hero's want for me to stay here and to give myself the same mercy and grace that I provide to others. This has been a great change for me and in a positive direction.

*high fives* 😊 and *hugs* ❤️

@SparkyGizmo Thank you for sharing your experiences and insights about community leadership. It seems this journey of learning healthy boundaries while still supporting others has brought you deeper understanding and peace. You clearly care deeply about helping others through difficult times. I appreciate you for that sparky, 

@ASilentObserver

❤️❤️❤️

@SparkyGizmo Sparky, you always acknowledge, encourage, and admire teamwork spirit. And if you ask me, that's my fav. thing about you! You are a spark for us! ✨

@Fristo

Many thanks Fristo! 😊❤️ Thank you for "filling up my cup" today so that I will have more to pour from,  to fill up the cups of others. I appreciate you! 

*high fives* 😊 and *hugs* ❤️

@SparkyGizmo

You’ve described so much that you’ve learned and gained along your journey.  It seems that inspiration, education, and insight are important aspects of leadership to you! I love that.  Clearly, for you, a lot of aspects of leadership come from things that someone can acquire by working with others.  You also said, though, that some of it is just “how you are built.”  I like how you talked about both in yourself.  Thanks for sharing.

@JustSophia

Hi Sophia! 😊 ❤️ Wow! 😳 I really cannot thank you enough for your response to me! I am mind blown! 

I sooooooooo enjoyed hearing your feedback as well as your synopsis of what it was that I said! This was so amazing that it caused me pause and I read your response several times over. 

When I respond to forum posts I just let it "flow". I try to understand the question asked of me, the nature of the post, the content, what type of need I am fulfilling, etc. and I just am in a "flow state" after that. At best, I might jot down a couple of ideas or thoughts when I first read the post however, from there.....its alllllllllllllllll flow. Nothing prepared to say, just my thoughts. Me showing up and being truly present in the moment, walking a path of authenticity. 

I guess it's like "Giz, tell me how you really feel". Through the process of responding, I end up knowing how it is that I really feel too, in a way. lol 😊 I guess it could be referred to as "stream of consciousness"? Of course, I know how it is that I feel....but it's the words that flow. 

I am so very grateful! ❤️ For me, this is the 7 cups gold standard of reflecting back to someone what they said, but in your own words so that the other party knows that they have been heard and feels understood! You are so spot on! I feel heard, I feel understood and through you holding up "that mirror for me today", I see that indeed, I may have come to the platform with some "portable skills" however,  something I seek is inspiration! Thank you for teaching me more about myself today. 

Yes, that's it! 💡 Kind of a pivotal moment for me here with you! Inspire me, show me the reason, show me the meaning. Where you lead I will follow! Luckily for me, many around here have inspired me. I believe in them. ❤️ So many things I hold dear to my heart, reasons why I am here and why I try to keep going strong, why I stay, why I show up and on the daily. There have been moments where I have shown "true grit" and have stood strong in the face of adversity because others have inspired me to go to those lengths even if they didn't know so. 

I still seek inspiration and on the daily, a reason, a purpose for me to be here. Lets make it count! ❤️

Thank you also for again, for being "the example" for another 7 cups gold standard. That was pretty amazing how you validated my feelings and emotions! Thank you for seeing the value in me. Thank you for seeing my efforts. Thank you for telling me that my thoughts are worthy and that you appreciated hearing them. Truly is using trained active listening skills at their finest and fullest potential. 

Thank you for being the one that has inspired me today! ❤️ I think you are pretty darn fantastic! The magic happens around here every day. We either have to be able to see it or create it. Abracadabra!✨ Even better if we can do both. *wink* 😊 You are one amazing magic maker! 

*high fives* 😊 and big *hugs* ❤️

@Heather225 It seems like such a valuable series, too bad my attention went to it only today! But feeling up for making the best of it now 😀

@ASilentObserver

This is an interesting topic, since I don’t see myself as much a Leader, but rather a Facilitator. I have a strong belief in each person’s innate worth as an individual. Also, I know that each person arrives with a great personal history, some not so great, but what we all have in common is a desire for inner growth and a quest to contribute something to each community in which we participate.

For some of us, this is found in the home, with our families. For others, we seek validation outside of family unit. We want to make things better for swaths of people, for example, for me, working on advocacy for people with disAbilities in my community.

Arriving at these moments when we know our responsibility and we feel empowered to act in some way, may look very different for each of us. For one of us, it may involve simply being able to arise out of bed in the morning and perform some daily tasks. For another of us, it may involve grand and sweeping policy developments in our local communities. 

Getting back to the definitions, Leader, Facilitator, I would like to expand on why I see myself as more of a Facilitator. Each of us brings a unique perspective and individual spark to whatever group we join. It’s through leaning on each other, learning more about what brings Big Feelings among each other, that we can start to act on our own environments in what I call the “real World,” the world outside the website, outside the computer, and with real, living, breathing people. 

I see Sharing Circles as a microcosm for what we are able to do in real life. People demonstrate, through their behaviors, who they are, and through Sharing Circles they see themselves reflected by the presence of the active participants in the group. This Circle of validation and opportunity to try out new behaviors can carry forward into people’s daily lives.

Being able to extrapolate any safety or cohesiveness we feel here within this Community of 7 Cups, to our daily life, extend any leadership or facilitative prowess we feel here, to the real world, or I would call it, our daily lives, is really what being an empowered Leader of our own Lives involves.

7 Cups is a community, and Leaders here are important. What I would like to achieve as a Facilitator is to help empower each person with whom I come in contact, to take charge and responsibility for your growth and development in your daily lives, to make your lives better. I do believe it can happen.

Thank you for such a great post! With deep and interesting reflections based on your lived experience, what gives them much weight.

It caught my attention that you see yourself as a Facilitator, and in my answer to Obs' post, I used the metaphor of a Leader as a "Catalyst".

And a Catalyst is exactly a Facilitator.

In its real "chemical" sense, a catalyst is a molecule whose presence promotes and makes a process or chemical reaction possible.

So much easier by orders of magnitude that we might consider it necessary for it to happen at a significant scale. Life totally depends on their presence. 

So, in my way of seeing things, a Facilitator is a main modality of leadership. A Facilitator might even keep a very low profile, not visible as a leader according to the image we might have of "The Leader". But be the leader in the sense of the catalyst that makes things happen, which is my view.

In any case, what matters is that as a Facilitator of Sharing Circles, you make a life-changing contribution to many people and the Community as a whole.

Uncountable people have benefited from the Sharing Circles! And continue to benefit in large numbers, all the time. The support given by the Sharing Circles is vast, and those like you, who make this large and so effective supporting process possible, make a huge contribution to this Community.

@CalmRosebud

@HealingTalk

Marcello,

Thank you for your thoughtful, kind, unifying, and validating response. I notice you do a lot of that around here, and I wanted you to know that it doesn't go unnoticed! You must be a very nice person in real life. Lol, maybe many of us are!

Another factor I appreciate about your response is how you are able to take subtle differences and yet unify them. There is nothing simple about leading our lives, or leadership in any way, whether it's through our jobs or businesses, in our families, in our personal relationships, or leading people with pseudonyms within a mental wellness community. Yet, you have managed to craft a term, "catalyst," that makes me ponder further, reach deeper, and wonder more about what it is we do and what power our words have.

Thank you for your insights and your care to write so lovingly about something you obviously know much about.

Kindly,

Rose

@CalmRosebud Thank you for sharing your thoughtful perspective on community leadership and facilitation. It seems promoting empowerment and growth for others is very meaningful to you.  I can understand wanting to help people take charge of their own lives in a supportive way. What strengths or experiences help you in this facilitative role?

@CalmRosebud Facilitator is the best kind of leader if you ask me! They facilitate and inspire and that's how you lead and build on great activities together 😀 There may be more aspects to being an effective leader, but without facilitation ability, it's not leadership at all hehe

@CalmRosebud

You have offered such a thoughtful, and thought-provoking, post.  I agree with @HealingTalk that being a facilitator is intertwined with leadership (and that you shouldn’t sell yourself short about being a leader!).  I really liked, too, how being able to reflect upon the Sharing Circles (and how they reflect meaning into the real world) has helped you to be an “empowered leader of your own life” – something I think you put well, and also something that I also think is an important part of leadership.  I really appreciate your post.

@ASilentObserver

What is community leadership to you? 

It is being able to contribute to the community by taking on responsibilities, educating yourself further, and finding a way to best serve the community. It means, putting your interests back to prioritize what the group or single members/listeners need. It is working intending to improve aspects of the community by using the skills you got through training and experience.

@audienta That's great thinking Audi. It sounds like community leadership is very meaningful to you. Focusing on better serving others and prioritizing the group's needs over individual interests takes selflessness and care. You clearly believe in contributing value however you can for the benefit of all.

@ASilentObserver

Thank you for your kind words. There are multiple things that motivate me, for example, being able to have a positive impact in this world, creating a support system that younger me would have needed, and knowing that our work can save lives, to name a few.

@audienta It's compassionate of you to want to have a positive impact and create support for others. ou're doing meaningful work to help people through challenging times.

@ASilentObserver

Thank you, I give my best to have a positive influence here and in general.

@audienta Expert answer! Continual education is v. v. important in being a good leader. And the seed of this education is "putting your interests back to prioritize what the group or single members/listeners need." -exactly this! Without this seed, no good plant can grow (when it comes to working as a leader for the greater good)!

@ASilentObserver

I want to be community leader been since i joined cups which was over two years ago