Ramblings 3
Nothing new, same issues . I miss the people here. I have been really struggling the last few months. I have been really trying and it seems like I am going back instead of forward.
YYY
@Tinywhisper11
Have I told you lately that I love you?❤️ Probably not, I am forgetful.
Have I told lately that I love you? ❤️ Probably not, I am forgetful.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@Iamwhoiamwhoami 20 minutes it's great ❤ well done ❤ how do you feel after having a shower and foot massarge?? You may be falling apart, but don't worry I have lots of duct tape to fix you up😁
@Iamwhoiamwhoami 😂😂😂😂😂 and after your surgery I'm wrapping you up in bubble wrap
@Tinywhisper11 you will never fall apart again ❤
@Iamwhoiamwhoami 😂😂😂😂😂 I love you more ❤ I'm going to go get dressed ❤❤ you rest now, after all your bussyness 😁 ❤ hugs you tightly ❤❤❤
@Tinywhisper11
❤️Hugs you as well ❤️ I love you ❤️
I am going to try and get some sleep.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami sleep well angel ❤
@Iamwhoiamwhoami hiii ❤ have you recovered from yesterday?? You did alot yesterday. How is your ear now?
@Tinywhisper11
Hello. I am not sure I ever fully recover anymore. I still have a high pitched sound in my right ear. ❤️
@Iamwhoiamwhoami oh that's not good🙁 maybe worth mentioning to your doctor ❤
@Iamwhoiamwhoami after everything you've been through, and everything I been through. How do you know who you can trust?? Like when you were in work or just out somewhere, is there something that makes you trust that person, or is it just a 50/50 chance??
theese past few years, I've been shown so much kindness by a lot of people ❤ and I'm so grateful. And I want to believe that everyone I meet, are good people ❤ I'm not sure if it's true though. Trust and understanding what's right or wrong is hard🙁
@Tinywhisper11
Trust, that is a really difficult and nearly impossible thing for me I don’t trust most people and the few that I do trust I don’t completely 100% trust . Those few that I trust I have forced myself to trust. I don’t trust myself and I don’t think I have for all my life,
That not trusting myself is probably where my problems with trusting others is rooted in. I wonder if trust is blind faith in others. Being forced to trust due to my situation or forcing myself to choose to trust others because I can’t bottle everything up completely anymore.
I think my early years were rooted in lack of trust, which probably influenced my opinions of trust. I think that whenever I really began to trust someone that they proved to me why I shouldn’t trust others.
Then I came here and have been shown so much kindness and support, I have begun to trust people like you and twist and blue and I am unfortunately drawing a blank on the other names. I have never met any of you face to face, yet I feel like I can trust you. So maybe it is something that I feel that in turn unlocks the door based on blind faith.
That’s only my opinion of course, because I don’t know.
❤️
@Iamwhoiamwhoami so we should be very careful who we talk to? Or give everyone a chance first?? 😕 what about right and wrong, so you understand that at all??
@Tinywhisper11 I'm gonna go cry alone for a little bit ❤ I'll speak to you tommorow ❤I love you
@Tinywhisper11
Please remember that I have lived a life of misery. I can only wonder if I had trusted a lot more and hidden a lot less that I would be in a better place now.
I wonder if the sexual abuse plus everything related , that happened to me as a small child made me close myself off so completely that I am the way I am.
I wonder if part of experiencing life is rooted in trust, in order to live life and expect people there has to be trust in people, trust in humanity rooted in them. I think most people will fail you at some point, but most don’t intentionally fail you. Everyone is a little different, influenced by way too many factors in this vast world. So if you don’t take a chance and trust you will end up a shell of a person like me.
Trust opens the door to the inner you that makes you vulnerable. And you will eventually be hurt by others words or actions, they may do something that makes you question your trust in them, and that is a difficult decision only you can make regarding continuing to trust them.
I am sure the traumas that I experienced and that I witnessed play a big role in my own personal decisions regarding trust. And I think that I am and was wrong in my decisions to not trust others for all these years.
Maybe being completely open and honest is an extremely bad thing for me.
I can’t find the prayer area that Tiny and twist and some of the others go to. I want to ask them to pray for Tiny. I think I messed up and unintentionally ended up really causing her distress. I need to stop being as open as I am because my mind is too messed up to explain properly. I’m very worried about how my words have affected her.
Please pray for her, reach out to her, help her. Maybe even advise her that maybe I am not a good person.. Whatever she needs please help.❤️
