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@amiablePeace77

What do you think affects finding and or keeping companionship/relationships in older age?

Companionship and friendships are incredible gifts as we age. Never under estimate the value of friendships.

In our communities where we live it is important to stay connected socially and it has value in regard to our health status. Those who have connections stay and are healthier because of it.

Even virtual communities here at 7 cups we create a community of friends and it adds so much to our daily lives to be thought about and cared for. Connection is great for the soul. 

@amiablePeace77

What do you think affects finding and or keeping companionship/relationships in older age?

In old age, well, a lot of good friends are already gone. Long phone visits become more tiresome but you do them anyway. Friendships often come out of spending or having spent time together and this is why young people have more friends, since they are educated in groups. Workmates, neighbours also can become good friends, or at least people you would be on friendly terms. Spending any time on activities with others be they games or volunteering might bring you company as well.

Friendships are rarely instant, and one cannot ask someone else to be friends out of the blue.

In old age, some of us are not as mobile or as chatty as we used to. We may be disappointed with people and decide to clam up. Some old folks are worried they do not look as good as they used to and lose their social confidence. 

If you are still with the same companion and both in good health, then... you are the luckiest and probably the wisest as well.

@amiablePeace77

What do you think affects finding and or keeping companionship/relationships in older age?

@amiablePeace77

 creating a reoccurring meeting with each other

@amiablePeace77

In comradeship: accepting each other, being aware of the fact we've never been perfect, there are lots of stories to share and lots of "older" topics to discuss like children, past and today's relationships or choices, health issues or feeling exceptionally healthy.

In relationships: the same as above, but being even more mutually supportive, with a feeling like after travelling through the stormy seas we finally safely landed home.

Unfortunately, some people at this age still happen to be obsessed with trying to make money they didn't make before, to go for any exotic trips they've never been before, or to make up for the parties they felt they never attended to. What can make finding a real, deep connection difficult.

Also, I believe that is a myth that volunteering supports real life connections. Many volunteers, despite the appearances, are often shy, afraid and isolated people. And hobby groups quite often suffer from the "Mayflower/plankowner syndrome" 😉, rarely needing any fresh blood.

Reaching out to each other

@amiablePeace77  I used to make new friends when I went to work in an office, or went out at night.  I no longer do either of those.  I also find that as people get older they get more set in their ways/racist, and are less likely to socialize with people who aren't just like them.  So as a minority in group settings I'm less likely to connect with people when I attend events at church, school or the library.  I have to activiely seek out minority groups to connect with new people or super lefty groups, which if I'm honest, both can be really annoying.

@amiablePeace77 keeping relationships to me is promoted by not reacting to what the other person says and does and take a timeout to settle down and figure out how to repond appropriately. To me anger destroys relationships and trust. Avoid it as much as possible.