Chat rooms - not for the faint of heart?
Phew! Is it just me, or do you sometimes feel that the chat rooms are not for the faint of heart? It seems like the Wild West in some of them at times. Lol. I've actually had some really nice chat room experiences, but--and I can't believe I'm saying this--have felt the last week or so as though I'd like a chat room for the older, quieter folk. (And, at 50, I can't believe I'm calling myself "older, quieter" folk, lol). You see, I made it a goal today to "practice connection" since I have a tendency (introvert) to isolate, but the seas are rough today ...
Anyway, just taking a break in the 50s forum before I dive back into the fray ... Thanks for listening. 
There is a 35 and over chat room you may be interested in! I'm not sure if it's open 24/7 as I'm a teen and do not have access to the adult-only rooms, but if it's not open 24/7 then it open at least a few times a week for discussions 
@Emily619
That room sucks and sometimes people do not understand or help you and only shut you down.
@DanaMHH
Have you tried filing a listener and moderator review form? Also, encouraging good room etiquette is helpful Good luck!
@Emily619
I have done this many times and people DO NOT CARE!!!!!
@Emily619 I know I've been frustrated when trying to support people in behaving more appropriately according to the chatroom rules in that room has gotten me attacked at times. At the least, I feel ignored like roadside roadkill. I tend not to get involed in them much anymore because i felt so discouraged in there. It's been so long ago, I don't think filling out a form about it would help. I'll try to keep it in mind for the future, tho, thanks for the suggestion. just giving my perspective on the subject.
@inventiveHouse2965
I'm sorry that that has happened! Would it help to resolve issues with them in a more personal setting? If you're able to PM them you can do so in PM's, and if not then a good place to do it is in the General Support Sub-Community in the diary entries and connections thread to create a personal forum thread you only want them, or a select few, to reply to. I hope everything's alright!
Thanks, @Emily619.
@friendlyChestnut4964
You're welcome, anytime!
@friendlyChestnut4964 Hi Chestnut, just to clarify, the 35plus chatroom IS open 24/7, and we'd be happy to have you join us :) You can find a direct link to the room at the top of this subcommunity.
@Emily619 There's something so nice seeing a teen helping the elders out fugure out the chatroom stuff , hugs!! :)
@friendlyChestnut4964
I am 51 and have not really spent much time in chatrooms, I'm more of a redditt lurker type. It would be great to have people close to my age to talk to, it seems as though most of us gen-Xrs, while being computer savy just not as neccessary to keep up with the latest dm app.
I feel lost right now.
@calmCurrent1404 I know what you mean. As an introvert, I have the tendency to lurk more than participate. I've had some nice chat experiences, but you have to kind of break through that initial resistance and jump right in ... Keep trying. The more you explore this web site, the less lost you will feel. I found commenting in forums was a good place to start.
@friendlyChestnut4964
Why do you lurk?
@DanaMHH Lurking sounds so creepy, lol. Sometimes you come in, and there is a conversation in progress, and even scrolling back, I can't read enough to know what anyone's talking about. I've tried jumping into the chat with a "hello" and a lot of times it's pretty much ignored, so I "lurk," hanging out on in the room without participating much. It's easier than trying to insert myself into the conversation in progress. Other times the pace is just a bit fast for me to keep up with.
@friendlyChestnut4964
Are you on the phone or pc? I was just shut down in the 35+ room asking for advice on my Safety Plan that NO ONE CARES ABOUT.
@DanaMHH Laptop. Sorry I didn't see your forum post til now. (I'm not good at multitasking.) I agree that there was some rather "ouchy" ways of handling things there. Sometimes I don't say anything because I'm not sure what to say ... I wish I could just hug people sometimes. <Hugs> to you. Please don't give up on reaching out.
@calmCurrent1404 Feel free to pm me anytime. The 35plus room is pretty supportive, and we welcome everyone.
@LunaHecate
I do not agree with your statement. They only chat with you if they like your topic of the minute
@DanaMHH Hi Dana :) as I said during our last 1 on 1, feel free to pm me anytime. I would also gladly help you find a longterm listener should you wish :)
@calmCurrent1404 Hello there! We're working on making 35+ more inclusive of everyone, and I can understand, the chatrooms can be a daunting place. If you want to stay in the forums, you're free to do so! If you have ideas for threads, topics you'd like to see discussed or to start discussing, you can start any threads you like, or DM me or @LunaHecate. We're more than happy to have you with us!
@AiluraBlaze
We need a room for 50+ since we have issues others don't have that are 35+.
@DanaMHH If you'd like to make a list and send it to me, we can make the rooms and the forums even more inclusive.
@calmCurrent1404
Sorry you are feeling that way. I feel like a lot of the younger people don't give a dam about my issues or concerns in life.
@calmCurrent1404
I am 50 an I know what you mean by being one of the older, quieter ones. So, I'm here to chat with.
@friendlyChestnut4964. Hi :) Once you have access, do pop by the 35plus chat-room. We're a friendly bunch in there. If you feel nervous going in, shoot me a pm and I'll join you :)
Any issues in the 35plus room, feel.free to pm me, @AiluraBlaze or any of our moderators mentioned on the subcommunity leader board.
@friendlyChestnut4964
I agree with you. Some of the conversations that they are having are really stupid and childless and I need older people to chat with regarding my issues because no one understands me or even wants to help me with my issues they just want to shut me down.
I'm 41 and I just wanted to say hey everybody.
@Mojitomaverick1976 Hello! Welcome!
@Mojitomaverick1976 Welcome to the community Mojito! Feel free to reach out should you need assistance with anything :)
I wish that if folks can not be honest and type what they feel about things then the others should just leave the room and others should stop deleteing and editing our text for those that do type the honest truth about stuff.
@DanaMHH Hi Dana :) I am sorry you feel this way about the chatrooms. Not everyone likes chatrooms, so forums are 1 on 1 conversations are an excellent alternative to this.
Our chatroom moderators follow a strict set of rules when it comes to removing comments. The chatroom rules can be found at the bottom of the chatroom, for easy reference. Moderators try their best to keep the rooms safe, welcoming and friendly for everyone. Should you have issue with any messages being deleted, and you feel it has been done unfairly, please reach out to community@7cups.com and they will be happy to look into it.
@friendlyChestnut4964
My first experience with a chat room was the old Yahoo instant messenger chat rooms. Some of the users had some sort of program that could freeze your messenger program and you'd have to log in and log out again to unfreeze it. i spent the first 2 hours wondering why nothing seemed to work till someone let me in on the joke.
@DaveMcGrath I would have been lost as well. :-D
I know that part of it is just doing it and getting comfortable with it. Heck, I was a little weirded out the first time I posted to any forum threads. Lol.
@friendlyChestnut4964 Hi Chestnut! It does take a little time to get used to the forum format, but feel free to reach out to any of us should you need any assistance :) I have created shortcut links to each forum section on the 35plus subcommunity in the resources tab. This may help you find what you are looking for easier :)
The listener support room chat room is the only one I feel comfortable with. The initial description of it being the wild west is true! I will enter say hello and feel totally isolated as conversations continue and no one responds to my greeting. I don't understand all the terminology so I just feel old and unwanted in virtually all chat rooms.
I hear you, @carefreeHeart57. It's really hit or miss at times whether I can "join" or not. Sometimes it's as you said, I can't figure out what the conversation is about; sometimes I'm ignored; sometimes it's too confusing (multiple conversations going too fast); sometimes the topic is a little too out there for me ... I keep trying, though, because I have had some positive connections at times. It does make me feel old, though. I'm actually glad that people responded to this forum post. Nice to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way. :-)
@friendlyChestnut4964
you are definitely not alone!
@carefreeHeart57, @Lauren63 - It's definitely a struggle sometimes. Right now, it seems like the younger people are much more inclusive and willing to reach out and say "hey" and include you when you enter the chatroom, but I'm not sure if it's because they don't realize I'm old. Lol. When someone asks age, I'll often realize that I'm the only "older" adult in the room. Yet, I find the 35+ chatroom has been the hardest at times to insert myself into the conversation. Seems maybe like it's a tighter-knit circle of regulars? Anyway, I keep trying because I do find that those times when it "works" are very good for me.
@friendlyChestnut4964
You are right - I felt very alone in the 35+ room where I was completely ignored after saying hello. It was uncomfortable, so I found a place that was more welcoming.
@carefreeHeart57, @Lauren63 - I think we've had similar experiences. So far, most of my best chat experiences have been in other rooms. I probably need to get over my self consciousness about being "old" compared to the "youngins". I know it's not real time, but I do find that ongoing posts like this to forum threads are also a way to connect. It's nice to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way.
@friendlyChestnut4964
Wow you are amazing the more post I read of yours the more I see myself only a stronger version. Keep doing what your doing it's inspiring. ☀️
@friendlyChestnut4964
Sorry you feel that way about the room. I haven't seen you in the room when I am in there but I know we usually have 10 to 15 and only like 6 of us talk and we ask open ended questions that everyone can answer and folks that are new just usually ask can i ask a question when they think we are in the middle of helping a few folks.
Hi all, someone pointed me in the direction of this forum thread. I'm over 50 if any of you want to talk to someone older. As for the chat room, all I can say is maybe try and persevere? I know I did and they got to know me. Take care all
the chatrooms feel like a superhighway... being passed by from scads of people... gotta watch out or i'll get run over
I hear you, @inventiveHouse2965. I have persevered and am slowly finding my way. There are just some days, though, where it isn't the day to connect and others where it's great. 50/50 so far.
@friendlyChestnut4964 I've been talking to listeners off and on for a few days. I think I am very sensitive because there was a comment here and there that felt somewhat harsh, and I backed away from the help after that and ended the conversation. Sometimes chatrooms are okay, but i find it more of a distraction because i am constantly reading to catch up and see if anyone responded to me. I get lost most of the time.
