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Jemima679 September 10th, 2021

Hello,


I'm 36, struggling with lonliness.


I've recently ended a long friendship as it had become toxic and they were my only friend.


A lot of the friends I had don't bother with me. I stupidly experimented with seeing how long it would take people to reach out to me first as I got tired of being the one who chased. It didn't go well. Many many months.


I understand that people's lives move in different directions but I didn't expect a lonely path.


I have started to make new friends but im not at the point where I trust them not to abandon me yet.


I'm married and have been with my wife for 12 years, we've been fighting a lot lately which is not like us at all.


I just feel so alone. My life doesn't feel worth the stress. I'm not planning on ending it, but I am contemplating walking away from everything.

4
RafSA September 10th, 2021

Hi.. I've been recently on a similar situation after breaking up with my partner, she was also a bit toxic, I found a good way to lift up my spirit by exercising, I started with free yoga classes and also going for a walk, eventually I ended going regularly to run and attending weekly to yoga. At yoga I got connected to myself and amazingly helped me to improve my running pace I also started to feel my body and I started to organize my thoughts and feelings. I hope my little experience can help you lift up your spirit, don't give up!...

1 reply
Jemima679 OP September 11th, 2021

Hi, you reply helped, thank you. Its nice to know I'm not so alone. I'm going to join the gym this weekend, definitely going to make use of the pool. I've been thinking about yoga for a while but I'm too anxious to join a class. I need to get back to my core and untangle the webs I've managed to weave.

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Lasweetbaby34 September 12th, 2021

Hello @Jemima679,

I completely can relate to how you are feeling I’m struggling with loneliness to. I’m so sorry that your long friendship had to end that way, sometimes when people just get out of are life’s aren’t really friends. Friends don’t leave their real friends for anything in the world even though they know they are struggling. Instead they are there supporting you and guiding you how to do better, I can understand that sometimes they become toxic and we are to the point that we can’t stand that. But if that friendship is a real friendship theirs nothing that can’t be worked out. In my situation I happen to fight with my partner a lot to, so what he does it what you do just leaves and doesn’t really care. But I kind of figure that is the way a guy is they don’t like to argue that much our if they do they just leave and try to focus in other things. I have learn to see that my partner has depression to, and the way he deals with that loneliness is by drinking everyday or just being in a area where he is just alone away from everyone. I don’t know if you communicate to your wife that you are feeling lonely and that maybe the fighting is making you feel worse. Sometimes us women when we are fighting with our partner our husband we really don’t listen to emotions because that is just the way we are. Man and women deal with loneliness differently, us women when we fight with our husband just become really silent or intend to do other things to like talk with other people friends etc.

Not sure about guys but I feel guys are way different because normally men don’t communicate their feelings as much as women do, but who knows I could be wrong. I also feel like I’m the only one that messages my friends and they never even look for me, so what I just do is not look for them anymore since I also get tired of being the one that looks for people. And sometimes you doing that it makes you feel like you are bugging them and they don’t even want to be near you. So what I do now is sometimes just let them look for me, if they don’t do it oh well I try to move on and that is it. And sure I do know men and women need friends but real friends are always there for you and they never get tired of you. Since I know I’m lonely now What I do is just listen to music sing dance but that is just me because I love to dance. I also navigate the internet or be in this website just to make some of that loneliness to go away. Another thing is journaling I love to write and that also helps me get out some of that loneliness that I have inside so everyone has different things that will help with loneliness if you are struggling with. Try to do what you think you enjoy the most go to your room get your phone and listen to music that is a relaxer to, or like the person mention already try to go for a walk, or maybe just go out if you have a car go to the park, go to stores do anything that could help you. I know it might be hard but nothing is impossible to do. I wish you nothing but the best and I hope things do get better with your wife.

1 reply
Jemima679 OP September 12th, 2021

Thank you. It really is comforting to know I'm not alone in feeling this way.


My wife and I have started to communicate better, I'm mindful of my anger and she's working on her issues too.


I just wish that life didn't suck sometimes, you know?


Take care and I hope you find a smoother path x

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