Why?

I feel lost and alone in a changing world, desperate for genuine connection... It doesn't seem to be what it once was... Everyone is out for themselves, kind acts are fewer and far between. People only seem to want friends that they can get something out of. I don't know if it's rare, sometimes I think there is just something wrong with me or I'm crazy but I don't hear others say things like this. Most people seem satisfied with "surface connection" . My whole life I have battled, in relationships, friendships, family relationships, trying to find people that feel the way I do. Looking for connections that are hard to put into words as it's a feeling. It's more than words, it's something felt deep in my core and it feels like most people around me are turned off. It's so damn lonely and no one seems to understand what I mean. The best way to describe it is possibly the feeling u may get with someone at the peak of an orgasm. Real... Raw... Honest. And I can't find others. I sometimes wish I wasn't born feeling like this but at the same time... I don't want to be a turned off person. I'm just so tired of feeling alone in this