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wishonastar84
5,861 M Moving Along 1
PathStep 54 Compassion hearts285 Forum posts24 Forum upvotes19 Current upvotes19 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2021 Member sinceJuly 10, 2016
Recent forum posts
Getting over myself
35 & Over Community / by wishonastar84
Last post
 August 25th, 2021
...See more I grew up an only child with parents that were probably too young and mismatched constantly fighting and little ol me hiding in my cupboard. Fast-forward to teen years my dad walked out and barely looked back with the exception of an annual phone call. Without financial support, my mom battled and made it clear regularly, right down to saying if I wasnt there, she could live in a one bed Batchelor flat and I cost her x every month. I felt like such a burden and like no one really wanted me. Being older now, I'm still battling to shake those feelings, I'm insecure in relationships and need reassurance... Often more than any partner has even been willing or able to give so feeling like I'm not really worth the effort either. The honeymoon phase is always perfect. I feel so loved and wanted and happy. But then it fades into the comfortable, I'm used to you now and over it part then I battle to feel like the love is still there. I try get it back to where it was, get frustrated and a bit resentful, all of which pushes the guy away more. My current relationship is heading the same way and I can't shake the feeling like I've lost him. I don't know how to get past myself and my feelings of worthlessness. I don't know how to get myself to feel like I'm loved and valued
Why?
35 & Over Community / by wishonastar84
Last post
 June 30th, 2021
...See more I feel lost and alone in a changing world, desperate for genuine connection... It doesn't seem to be what it once was... Everyone is out for themselves, kind acts are fewer and far between. People only seem to want friends that they can get something out of. I don't know if it's rare, sometimes I think there is just something wrong with me or I'm crazy but I don't hear others say things like this. Most people seem satisfied with "surface connection" . My whole life I have battled, in relationships, friendships, family relationships, trying to find people that feel the way I do. Looking for connections that are hard to put into words as it's a feeling. It's more than words, it's something felt deep in my core and it feels like most people around me are turned off. It's so damn lonely and no one seems to understand what I mean. The best way to describe it is possibly the feeling u may get with someone at the peak of an orgasm. Real... Raw... Honest. And I can't find others. I sometimes wish I wasn't born feeling like this but at the same time... I don't want to be a turned off person. I'm just so tired of feeling alone in this
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