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Late night thoughts

raspberryKitten2391 August 19th, 2022

im a recovering alcoholic and iv been sober for 2 years now but I’m struggling with the past and my partner, we’ve been together for almost 20 years but I struggle with the male friends she has at work and how I’m not enough for her, it’s not even about sex but the emotional connection she has with other men.


iv never had to really deal with my emotions before as iv had drink as a blanket to cover up if I was hurt and I’m finding it hard to open up to my wife as it seems needy and jealous over things that shouldn’t matter.


12
innateJoy9602 August 19th, 2022

@raspberryKitten2391

Hello!

Congrats on being sober for 2 years! That’s an amazing accomplishment! Very proud of you!!

I think it’s not needy to be worried about something that genuinely bothers you.

If it’s a concern to you then it is valid.

Perhaps communicating your feelings effectively will help her see your perspective.

Thank you for sharing with us! <3🌿🌺

2 replies
Happy900 August 20th, 2022

@innateJoy9602 Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.

You have a very giving and supportive heart,just wanted to let you know this.

1 reply
innateJoy9602 August 21st, 2022

@Happy900

Thank you so much!

So do you!! Thanks for being such a lovely member of the community!

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positiveRiver9935 August 19th, 2022

Hi my name is Kacey and I just wanted to let you know that, in admitting this you are being strong and while asking for help you may even be helping your marriage. I think you Should sha to e these things with your wife and possibly even seek help Together

1 reply
Happy900 August 20th, 2022

@positiveRiver9935 Thanks for supporting this member.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.

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NessTheMess August 20th, 2022

@raspberryKitten2391

Hey buddy,

Congratulations on being 2 years sober! That's incredible!!

Now, with your partner, I believe that it's necessary to communicate with her about what's been on your mind. Communication is key! Whether it's good, bad, or even the silliest of things. You MUST communicate with her about how you feel about all of this.

Wishing you the best!!

1 reply
Happy900 August 20th, 2022

@NessTheMess Thanks for supporting this member.

You have a very supportive heart,just wanted to let you know.

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Happy900 August 20th, 2022

@raspberryKitten2391 So very proud of you.

Way to go.thanks-okay.gif

TheComedianDreamer August 20th, 2022

Hi. So there’s this dude I love. He also loves me.


I actually love it when he opens up to me. Recently, he mentioned to me that he had some feelings of not being enough for me until I happened to say some words that really helped him out with that. So I hugged him and told him that he’s enough and that’s why I’ve been choosing him for years instead of going for some other guy.


But I love it when he opens up to me because it lets me be closer to him and I love being close to him.


I’m not sure if this next part will help you or not, but he’s mentioned to me that he actually likes that I have good emotional connections with some other men because he wants to be sure that if he’s ever not around anymore while I still am, that he knows there is someone who can allow me to have a supportive relationship in this society where women and men each have different advantages (so, like, he wants to know that even if he passes away or something, I would have a little bit of access to the advantages men get through having a husband or boyfriend who lets me share his).


Although maybe take my ideas with a grain of salt since my relationship’s been going on for 7 years and yours has been going on for 20 and 20 years ago, I was 6 years old lol.

independentStrings4568 August 20th, 2022

Sit down and talk with her. Communication is always key, see what see feels and tell her how you feel.

Peaceandlove65 August 21st, 2022

It’s definitely good to talk about these things. The concerns you have are likely to linger unless you do talk about it. Good luck! It sounds like you are doing a great job of putting your life on the right track!

slowdecline48 August 21st, 2022

@raspberryKitten2391

The only option is to go straight to your wife & tell her how you feel, how her conduct with other men bothers you. If she blows it off or just refuses to take anything you say seriously, then...at that point, you may want to reconsider the relationship between you & the wife. And whether you want to stay in it.

Congrats on staying sober.