Is anyone else ANGRY or frustrated on a daily basis?

It doesn't sound like a happy life to feel angry or frustrated most of the time. I wonder if you just don't know any other way. I deal with depression, and I can't really imagine life without depression, so maybe you can't imagine life without the anger/frustration. Have you tried cognitive behavior therapy where you challenge your thoughts?

https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheet/healthy-unhealthy-coping-strategies/anger/none

Hi. I feel your frustration! Sorry you are experiencing this especially with people around you not helping and it sounds like they may be minimizing what you’re going through. I can relate to feeling frustrated or angry. Just before the pandemic I found some useful tools to reduce a lot of anger. Cognitive behavioral therapy, exercise, meditation. And I think I can understand why a therapist would say there is nothing wrong. Dr David Burns book, “Feeling Good” along with an in person therapist really helped. I didn’t need a label from the DSM (manual that psychologists use to assign a diagnosis), I just needed to feel better. If therapists tell you you’re ok, believe them. Therapy gave me someone to really listen and not judge. The tools from cognitive behavioral therapy really helped and continue to help in my daily life. It took some study and effort, but Dr Burns book really made it clear. If you’re interested in his book, I would not suggest his newer version, “Feeling Great”, because it seemed less focused than “Feeling Good”. Now, to switch gears a bit, post pandemic, I am one example again frustrated and angry. But it isn’t because what I learned from that book and therapy did not help. I would be in much worse shape now without those tools. We live in extreme times, so I think I have not learned enough about how to be less angry and frustrated in these circumstances. In a sense, anger and frustration was taught to me. I grew up in a home where a parent was something of a bully. And our society practices a kind of celebration of “righteous anger.” But this has been true for centuries. The Buddha said that anger was like a sweet flower with a poisoned root. In other words, we get some benefit from being angry, but then we also get the harmful part at the same time. As I understand it, our anger comes from a part of us that may be tender or hurt, or comes from deeply caring about something important to us. So it’s not something to get rid of. It’s just part of being human. It’s a little like the weather. It may be stormy outside. We don’t blame ourselves for the storm and we don’t try to push the storm clouds away. Instead we find creative ways to live in the storm, we take shelter and care for ourselves. You have been doing that. Don’t take on the criticism of others and make it your own. Spend your energy on being kind to yourself. From your post I get the impression that you are a very intelligent person who feels things deeply. I have a sense that you’ll find a way to more happiness and less suffering. It’s a journey, not a destination, but we’ll worth it. Thank you for sharing what you did, and best of luck.

@SeaGoatMoonCrab Dear SeaGoatMoonCrab. 1st off meet another Cancer like you who has been through everything you have, feels eggmotherfuckingxcactly like you do and completely understands. I myself too am very ANGRY , especially at the world today, how cold, bitter, mistrusting, paranoid, and so greedy and if u try to be real with someone almost everybody in this day and age just seems to want something from u or just wants to take you. like u i'm tired of being burned by everyone too and i've become somewhat harder, and I dont want to be either 'cause just like Jesus and John Lennon I still believe in the brotherhood of man and the betterment of mankind. Yet in this world today I have 2 be. Yet I still am a very tender kindhearted and warm person, yet I"m also a very much alpha male, big strong healthy guy and all American. I just believe in standing up 4 whats rite. I to sometimes feel very alone in this world and know one understands me. I've also been through some childhood abuse and some traumatic experiences in my life. But u know what,it does get better withtime,I've seen a lot of therapists too, actually been in mental hospitals before and I am diagnosed wiyh autism/Asperger's bipolar p.t.s.d. and anxiety and I have a higher i.q. than others too. especially in music and music knowlege, why rite now I'm enjoying some Travis Tritt as I'm typing this letter to you. I think it's great u have a family, I'm so sorry they dont understand u. I dont have any kids but I have had 2 wives too who did not understand me or said I was 2 nice, than I've had 2 wives who loved and respected me because I was so good to them they were my true soulmates and unfortunately they're both dead now. My wifeof 10 yrs. and truest soulmate passed on jan.21st 2021 I had another relationship after her but it was very toxic. Now SeaGoatMoonCrab, I know you have a family and u love them but hey if u want to talk to a guy whose been through so much of what you"ve been through or just a friend to talk to I hope you'll consider that drop me a line and lets chat[edited]. As Well I'm also on this website to be a peer listener and offer support, understanding, and friendship to people who are struggling just like u and me. I Relly hope u message me back.[removed] Now because your a Cancer like me and you are going through so much of what I'm going through and I dont know how to retrieve messages on this site I'm going to go out on a limb here and give u my email sdress. It's [removed] If u choose to stay with your partner and need just a friend to talk to thats cool too. It just sounds like your going through so much hell where your at. If your a guy and just need a guy friend to talk to thats cool too. But hey SeaGoatMoonCrab [removed]. hope to hear fromyou soon. calm friend/joecool.

Edited by AffyAvo June 11, 2022 see forum guidelines

@SeaGoatMoonCrab Hiiii! This sounds like something straight from my journal! I can definitely feel your pain and that feeling of helpless. It can be very frustrating. Other times I'm sure you feel really powerful, because hey, you're a strong person, you're smart and you're just awesome. Traumatic experiences have a way of doing that to us. We can go from 0 to 10 in any emotion in a split second. If you can muster up the courage and have the capacity to ask for help, do so. A support system by way of friends or family is definitely a bonus. It's good that you're very aware that you get angry quickly. Me too, and for no logical reason. I try to manage by knowing my triggers but sometimes I can't help it - like lacking sleep or just being stressed at work or school - so I looked up ways to manage it superficially. I do everything from daily stretches to drinking tea, breathing exercises as often as I could, multiple walks a day, gratitude exercises, salt scrub and daily face masks (sounds funny writing about it). I don't know for sure if these contribute really but I know I am more in control, more patient, with each year that passes.

Remember, you have awareness now. You're more than halfway through managing this. Ask for help and work on it, one step at a time. Then have faith that this will get better because it will.

Sea,

It may be that your relationships aren't balanced in such a way as to give you what you need. I think the phrase is "You can't pour from an empty cup." I don't know what is possible for you, but it seems like creating some space (of whatever kind) that is just for you and setting some boundaries with your family may help you find some renewal.