@Stacey84
Hey Stacey, I tried responding to you the other night from the app on my phone, but the window got shut and then I couldn't find the thread... So glad I found this again...
I'm sorry to hear that writing isn't helping as a coping mechanism for you at this time. I hope that at some point down the road it will return to your list of tools. My husband tells me I should write, but sometimes if the emotions are too high it just pushes me further down the spiral hole. Even attempting to write on clear days can sometimes trigger me.
Through DBT and CBT counseling I've found some other ways to cope. I'm sure you know yourself that some days it's easier to stick to the list than others.
When things are really bad for me my go to is to Distract. I usually do this with crafting or art. I like to paint, sew, paper craft, or do stained glass. Crochet is great, especially as a beginner, because it takes a bit of concentration and the materials are inexpensive. I taught myself to crochet using YouTube videos. Following a pattern requires a lot of repetitive counting, so I don't have room in my brain to dwell on past traumas, or current drama.
I've found that distract can be helpful, but it's not something to constantly rely on. I have to remember to do my self care so that when my mood is lighter and my brain is clearer I can address the issues from a rational point of view. I hope this helps you, I know how intense the emotional pain can get. I know how quickly self harm can step in, even when you don't want it to. I know how exhausting it can be to feel like you've made progress only to be at the bottom of the well again. Please know that I'm right there with you, trying to climb to the top.