suffer from Anxiety after viewing and reporting some harmful content on internet
hello guys,
i want to tell and share a litttle story about me, because it is really making me a lot of pressure.
Im a man over 30, lived in aisa, I always see me as a kind and a man with responsibility.
But like some other men, I do sometimes watch porn, but only ordinary ones. Im straight, without bad hobbies.
Three month ago, when I was usually do some searching on google, I got a link to a porn website, which at first I thought it was a normal one. But after a few click, I noticed it is not. It was a website contains a lot of harmful content, like violent, terrible scene. Some of them I did even doubt whether it is legal( not child pornography, but ***, self harm or even sex abuse).
I was so scared so I left it. But as I mentioned, some feeling like justice told me that I should do something. So I went back to that website, with fear, find the two which makes me uncomfortable, and then reported it to the website.
After two days, I got a reply that the two which I reported was deleted, but things doesnt goes to end—- a feeling or a thought constantly attack me that “if these two videos are involve real crime, then I just helped the website removed two evidence”
I dont know why I thought it like this, but I do worried now, in the past two months, I felt scary and a lot of pressure.
By the way, the two videos which I reported were uploaded more than years before. And because it is horrible, I dont want to remind it again.
And now, because this website is in the US, Im living in asia, I dont know whom to talk to, and I cant tell my family, because it is about porn, feel shamed to say this.
I also tried to contact the US police on tips.fbi.gov and IC3 , for online crime report. But got no reply in the past weeks.
Im worried and dont know what to do, actually I did nothing wrong, but a feeling like “this ruined my life “ stressed me.
I dont know what to do.
Hope this wont left you bad feelings, if so, I feel sorry about this, but please understand that I was under pressure.
I regret having reported it to the website, because they dont care. I should have reported it directly to police.
how I wish to find 10 police officer around me , and listen to me to say some rubbish words or worry in my mind, and all clean that away😔
Hi there! 🌸
First of all, I want to appreciate you that you took a brave step there by reporting those videos.
I understand it's a difficult situation for you but we have endless possibilities to act on a particular situation and our brain keeps trying to find the right ones. You did what you thought was the best solution at that point according to how your brain worked. You have already reported at other places as you've mentioned. Maybe you couldn't have done better or even if you could, it is in the past.
I want to appreciate you for at least trying to take the steps required. You at least had that humanity to think about the people involved. I bet many people might have passed without reporting. A lot of them might have watched them too. So, don't belittle yourself. I want to tell you that I'm proud of you for your efforts. 🌟
I know it's difficult to get it off your mind but remember that your efforts matter. You still saved them from the disrespect in one way. We keep learning in life. Next time if you find any such thing, you already know what to do.
And yes, talking to people definitely helps. You can have a 1-1 conversation here. Use this link to find an available listener -
https://www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners
Also, you can talk to people around you of your same age group if you're finding it hard to talk to your family. A lot of people are not vocal about this but they know.
Hope this helps! ✨
If not, we are all here for you.