What’s wrong with me?
I ask myself this everyday for the past year. I am 41/m, professional, 2’nd marriage , 2 kids, living in a nice house, great income. These are the best years of life….
so why am I so miserable?
been in and out of therapy
struggling with Unaffectionate , unsuspportive partner
fantasize about wanting to live the most out of life
is it wrong to stay in it for the lifestyle? The kids?
I may add to this post but this is my struggle….
@fearlessBalloon7756
I am sure many have asked that same question. I know i have.
People seem to think the job or money / kids/ house is suppose to make things great. Many are also living in your shoes. the best years are not defined by anyone but yourself and we seldom know it until they are gone IMO.
Miserable in the life they thought would fulfill them or were told that was the goal post to a happy life. . sometimes afraid to speak up because people look and say you have it good ... look at those who don't. That NEVER helps only adds guilt and doubt about why you feel lost and miserable.
Relationships matter and if you can fix or rekindle do but if you can't it is a sad way to live, unappreciated. It is always your choice but i find being honest about how you feel and having time for yourself is needed.
Therapy is not for always for answers but for a path to find them.
great points, I feel chained up by fear of the unknown, what if this is only as good as it gets and I will never be satisfied ?
@fearlessBalloon7756
i think people often are chasing other things because satisfied is a close neighbor to boring and we think there must be more. maybe it is a case un realistic expectations perhaps because we are sold the idea of what we think we should feel.
@toughTiger6481
"satisfied is a close neighbor to boring and we think there must be more."
I feel attacked, lol.
I need to ruminate on this one. I kinda feel you might be right. But really want you to be wrong.
@Clio9876
I keep remembering that old cliche "life’s a journey, not a destination". if that's true then making and reaching goals is not going to bring happiness; we would have to eke out happiness from satisfying moments ( in the present ).
This is my fear that I am the broken one, that if I leave I will be even more miserable or worse alone…. It’s so selfish
Does it help if you think about the things you want? especially what you want in the moment or on a daily basis? I tried this for me and I found out I only wanted the little/silliest things in life. But those little things are most people do not pay attention to. I can't be sure but it may help if you start with that?
@GothamRam
I like this idea. I think it is often true. Often we want the small things. A hug. Peace and quiet. Recognition. A smile. But rarely do we notice that. I'm going to try to do this more often.
For me it makes it worse, the list is long and it turns into resentment
@fearlessBalloon7756
Appreciate you sharing and I'm really sorry to hear you experience that.
Really hopeful that over time, as you keep chatting with helpful and friendly people here, you'll start to find answers to your 'why/why's' and help lift some of the weight you're feeling.
I should add, nothing is wrong with you and with what you're going through. We have our own struggles and to some, they may seem irrelevant but for each one who experiences it, it's the whole world. I hope you get through this and come out with better and happier moments.
@fearlessBalloon7756
It sounds like you’ve been carrying a heavy emotional burden for some time, and it's completely valid to feel conflicted given everything you're going through. You’re 41, a professional, with a family, a good income, and living what many would consider an ideal life. But despite that, you’re feeling unhappy — and that makes sense. Having external success doesn’t necessarily equate to internal peace or fulfillment.
It must be incredibly difficult to feel trapped in a situation where you're not receiving the affection and support you need, especially after investing in therapy and still feeling stuck. It’s understandable to wonder whether staying for the lifestyle or for your children is the right choice, but it's equally important to ask yourself what you truly need to feel fulfilled and at peace with yourself.
Your struggle is real, and you’re not alone. Feel free to reach out to me or any available listener if you want to talk. Please don't hesitate to share more if it helps, and remember that your well-being matters too.
@fearlessBalloon7756 Your feelings of confusion and frustration are valid, especially when it seems like your life should be fulfilling but doesn’t feel that way. It’s hard to navigate those emotions, especially when you’re also considering your family and what’s best for them.
It sounds like you’re dealing with a lot, and that’s completely understandable. Here are some things to consider:
Emotional Needs: It’s natural to want affection and support from your partner. If those needs aren’t being met, it can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction. Reflect on what you truly need from the relationship.
Fantasizing About Life: Dreaming of living more fully signals a desire for change. You don’t have to make big decisions right away, but starting with small steps toward joy can help.
Self-Reflection: Spend some time reflecting on what makes you happy and what you envision for the future. Journaling could be a helpful way to sort through your thoughts. :)
It’s not wrong for you to feel this way. It’s actually quite normal. I have an unaffectionate childish partner and I often find myself dreaming of my soulmate even though he should be my soulmate.
@fearlessBalloon7756
I ask myself this too. There are people that would die to have my life, Why can't I enjoy it and live in it. I don't know the answer, I'm new to this self-discovery journey, I'm just thinking that with the right person by my side my attitude will change. Maybe I have been unhappy all these years because my partner didn't understand me or support me.