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GothamRam
5 405 M Embraced 3
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts68 Forum posts11 Forum upvotes35 Current upvotes35 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2024 Member sinceOctober 21, 2021
Recent forum posts
New here - asking for app/site to start writing
Reading & Writing / by GothamRam
Last post
 Tuesday
...See more Hey there, I'm new here so I'm not sure if this has been discussed before. Just wanted to ask what apps/sites (free or minimal fees) that you recommend I can start writing about my own experiences, life, anything I can think about, etc.?  I'm not a writer nor trained but I've done a few. My purpose is not to publish but just to write and improve my skills, plus it's good for the mindset and positive outlook as they say. I find it therapeutic to write so I want to focus on this. :) Appreciate your recommendations. Thanks!
Sorry just letting this out... I'm the problem I guess
35 & Over Community / by GothamRam
Last post
 April 20th
...See more I know this may be common to some but when in this situation, it really is hard to deal with. Most people who know me see as that strong woman who never cares what other people think or never cares what happens. No one knows what goes in my mind lately. But deep within, I care, I care a lot. I've been in my marriage for 18 years and I remember us being so in love and just going head-on about anything, so bravely. Now we are at the point of I may need to leave. Maybe life caught up with us, got teenagers and I mostly think about - "when they're done in school, I'm going to leave and be free". No question, I still love him and I feel like leaving is not an option for him. No other parties on both sides, I think we're just drained and tired. Maybe life challenges got into me, I tried to tell him everything but most of the time ends up him just saying sorry and so little effort to change. Don't get me wrong, I'm trying to better myself too and change but I think hearing sorry all the time isn't the thing I need. I even told him he doesn't need to be sorry, just do what he says he will. Some issues are small, some are big, but definitely hurts me every time. It's already hard for me to open up to him because I feel like it's an unending cycle. Sorry if this is confusing or doesn't make sense. Maybe I just need to vent out a little. I'm moving out in a week but my kids think I'm going job hunting and meetings but truth is I'm preparing for a big life decision. And this part hurts me so much because I think I am going to hurt them. I'm 100% sure I may consider going back just because of them but I need this for my peace. I'm always thinking of being gone - don't worry I'm not doing it if that's what you're thinking - but it would be nice to be away and just be with myself for a long time. If only we can do that or go back to where it all started. I don't even know where and when to go back to even if that miracle happens. Ha! Taylor's song just came up and is saying "it's me, I'm the problem it's me" - maybe I am...
Confused, Anxious, Depressed.. Name it all..
35 & Over Community / by GothamRam
Last post
 February 10th
...See more My husband of 17 years didn't hesitate to say yes when I suggested he should be the one to leave... Now I'm aware both of us has issues. For context, he did something super close to infidelity last Feb and this Feb I realized I haven't fully moved on or recovered despite many talks with him. We've talked about how he can make it up, how he can make things right and how I can understand better. He's no longer open to discussing that. Sadly, there are so many times he couldn't keep his promise - no third party this time, just that he isn't really a sweet or doesn't show affection I guess. And I really take it personally because I always want to feel loved - is it wrong? I was used to being texted and called from afternoon to dawn when we weren't married yet and things changed when we had kids. Maybe my PPD is also to blame here but I didn't know what to do. 40+ and I'm still figuring things out.. We haven't been talking for 2 weeks and I had to be the first to reach out so he will talk to me.. He admitted he really didn't want to talk but says he still loves me and all.. I just can't feel it.. I feel unloved and unworthy and I told him I feel really sad that I'm always begging for his attention and love.. I am trying to set boundaries where I said I will no longer be in this kind of cycle and beg and if he wants, he should be able to show me love and affection by himself and not me telling him what to do.. Long story short, I said if he couldn't do it, he is free to leave. So anytime this week, he will. Just looking for a place to move into. I feel like he is just waiting for me to say that so he is off the hook. Honestly I wasn't surprised.. I'm allowing myself to cry and I know things will get rough for me from here on.. I'm very emotional and I tend not to sleep overthinking. The thing is, how do I teach myself to slowly accept this and not beg anymore? I don't want my kids seeing that I am broken and that I beg for love and attention when it should be freely given. The thing that affects me most is I feel like a *** parent for being like this and for being in this situation.. Any suggestion of support is welcomed.. I really need to start moving on..
Friends chat 40++ amazing people!
35 & Over Community / by GothamRam
Last post
 November 12th, 2023
...See more Hey there! Is it possible to like have a group chat inside 7 cups? That way we can all chat inside it? If that is possible, can we create one and invite those 40 and above people who would like to join? Just a space where we talk about life, give support to each other and just random thoughts if you'd like? Or if there is already one, INVITE ME! I'd love to connect to my fellow 40+ people :) I'm female and 43 by the way so makes sense I'm wanting to connect to 40 to 100 year old humans :)
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