Just turned 35

I can tell you 100% you are not alone. I just turned 34 and also got off a breakup 3 years ago. All of my exes have found someone new. But I have to remind myself thay I see so many strong women in unhealthy relationships where their significant other does not meet their needs in certain ways and I realize thay I'd rather be single than have that. Also remembering the life and socializing is so different nowadays after the pandemic and with the rise of the internet times are not easy dating let alone meeting people.

The best thing I can say is to get out and do things you enjoy. Whether it's walking or checking out bookstores or going on a hike. You will meet people doing things you enjoy and I think that's how we foster relationships and build communities.

I have also accepted that I may not have kids of my own, but don't hold yourself to a timeliness. It's easier said than done but I'd take a look at how you "envisioned" your life because a lot of times it's societal expectations and not something we actually want. If I do end up wanting kids there's other ways to do it without having a partner, so be open to different avenues you never thought of.

I can totally relate to feeling alone, being an introvert definitely doesn't help. But something thay has helped me has been writing down gratitude for whay currently is and what I have now. Good luck out there and remember there's so many other people who feel the same way.

@ivoryLion9240 I am sending my warmest hugs there are to give and there is always someone out there for you they will find you because you are deserving of all the love and kind thoughts life has to offer. 

First off comma there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, and my heart hurts for you that it is hard to love yourself.Because others have treated you wrong. I will say that thirty five is definitely not expired comma or at least I hope not. I'm 42, had my first child at almost 30, found the love of my life a few years later, and i'm just now making changes to leave a very unhappy relationship to pursue that.

I feel like life sometimes makes us feel invisible once we hit those mid thirties, it's common, but it can also be a very powerful time to find yourself or even reinvent yourself. It was life changing for me to step out of my partner's shadow and discover who I was and what I wanted and enjoyed, because so many years of course, I spent trying to shape myself into what I thought they wanted me to be. I probably didn't really start loving myself until almost 40 and sense then that has definitely attracted people enter my life in a positive way.

I'm not conventionally attractive either, have some physical disabilities that slow me down, and I'm over 300 pounds but I found that by seeking out things I enjoy and letting myself be happy and learning to live myself again again. It is attracted people who see me. Throw a lot more than appearances. And I've known found someone that's made me feel truly loved for the first time ever in a relationship, all in my late thirties and early forties. Sorry, I did not mean to make this about me, just saying that there is hope out there. But to paraphrase RuPaul, first, you've got to love yourself and that helps attract love from others.

Hey.. I turn 38 today.. And I'm completely in the same shoes as you are.. maybe even far off worser..

I totally agree with you with feeling of being "expired" and having the thought of dying alone is scary (every year since I turned 27, that is all I fear about).. and I've been single for nearly 20 years.. so, my fear seems much more real and greater. Aside from my immediate family members and an older sister (not blood-related), had wished me a Happy Birthday.. none of my colleagues remembered, I don't blame them, as I haven't been working since last August, they probably forgot about me already.. I agree how it feels that physical appearance is all people care about.. I've always been told, they need to be attracted to us first, before wanting to go any further in getting to know us..

I used to believe that I wanted to be loved for who I am, and not what I look like.. and I have been told by some members here in Cups, that this thought/idea only happens in fantasies.. does it really?

@ivoryLion9240

@ivoryLion9240 First of all, I am so sorry for you but let me tell you that unfortunately, even physical appearance doesn't matter. God knows why some people  are just bent on rejecting good people. I can, for example, share my own story. I have been deeply in love with a boy since age 11( he is my first crush), and I am 21 now and still besotted with him and only him. I want to marry him, I am totally loyal to him even mentally( I mean I didn't even get to shake hands with him, so no scope for anything physical and so even physically loyal becoz I am a proper virgin as well) , but still he shows little interest in me and keeps blocking me everywhere from time to time. Even when he unblocks, his responses are curt and distant and it hurts like anything. Coming to your conclusion, no even physical appearance doesn't matter because I literally am a good-looking girl, but still he is least interested in pursuing anything meaningful with me. Like why should a guy reject a girl who is good-looking, introvert, kind, loyal and loves him like a swan till eternity?? I can't find any reason to say no to such a person. But look, even I am getting rejected, my love is so brutally one-sided. Even I am feeling so lonely and shattered. I am 21, and it seems I am just standing on the grave of my dreams and hopes. My whole world revolves around him, and now it's crushed. Good looks did not help me in any way, you see. 

There's nothing wrong with you. I know it's hard I'm 36, not so much in a similar situation but I feel where your coming from. Keep your head up and try and stay positive. You aren't expired anymore than I am. I don't have a family yet either but I've been told enough times that I still have time. That means you do too. Also, if you're a reader, look for "love yourself like your life depends on it " that title has helped me immensely.

@ivoryLion9240 hey, everyone is beautiful in their own way. Yours sounds like inner beauty, the most important type for me. You are not expired, even if you are getting "old."

I hope this makes you feel better :)

@ivoryLion9240

I completely Understand, the feeling of Loneliness, to be with someone, To hug, to share how was ur day, I can Understand very well. I have been single for past 5 years as well , so I totally get it how u feel. I know Its hard or difficult. if you wanna talk about it I am here. Feel free to msg me

From a younger persons perspective, I’m 21. I think that self importance leads to healthy relationships with others. I think you should explore different routes to loving yourself and finding that confidence you once had. Doing stuff like: finding new hobbies, enjoying old hobbies, or reconnecting with past friends helps me a lot. I’m not sure if this advice is helpful in your current situation, but I think that self importance is the key to everything in this world.