Fear of time is running out
I'll be 40 in a few months and I think that's highly contributing to some of the problems I've been having. For the last several months, I've been more emotional than I've ever been. Ordinarily, I'm not an overtly emotional person but feel them deeply inside. Now it feels like my internal damn broke and I'm struggling.
I'm more sad, angry, depressed, lonely and isolated than I've ever been. I think a lot of this is contributed to my feeling of time's running out for me to be happy. I've had a rough life with the bad outweighing the good drastically. Now that I'm almost 40, I guess I feel like it may never happen when I just breathe and live a happy, loving, semi-peaceful life.
Is this common approaching 40?
@Mezmer
It is not just 40 for some people another age or milestone approaches we feel anxious/ sad emotional and angry ... where did the time go i wanted to do more etc. I seem to be running around trying to tell the younger people I know how time is fleeting.
Most times we have lots of happy we just do not see it at the time.
@toughTiger6481 I agree. Hindsight is always 20/20. I guess with so many daily struggles and stresses, it's almost impossible to see more positives than negatives
@Mezmer
About you feeling that you're 40 and have less time left, it's completely understandable because we don't know what our lives hold more for us. So I think you can just relax and think of life as a mystery. Each day is a new journey for us, we evolve daily, learn new things and become somewhat different from what we were yesterday.
As for thinking you have less time left, just think of the positive things you had in your life till now, things that give you happiness. Make some small goals which you want to accomplish in coming days and find beauties in each day of your life. I think these will help move your concentration to other things. :)
Would love to listen from you in some days of how you're doing.
Hi @Mezmer!
You know, I think being more emotional and occupied with different feelings at 40 is normal. It's because you have been through much and have seen the world around you. Those all years some of the things kept housing in you and as you are moving forward in your life, they're starting to effect you.
But I think you can keep thinking about the positive things that gave you happiness in all these years. Try to set interesting small goals for you to fulfill in some days, that'll keep you occupied. And think of life as a mystery, each chapter of it's unfolds each day. It's okay to feel that you have little time left but keeping all these things and thinking anew will keep you fresh.
Would love to listen from you if this helped! :)
@Mezmer
I think it is natural to have this reaction to milestones. Our brains are for pattern recognition first and foremost.
There is a positive upside to what you are saying. You recognize you don't have the life you want. That is the very first step! Now the next step is to itemize what you think would make the life you want. Is it a new hobby? A new career? A new relationship? A new environment?
Any or all of these could be the answer and then we find ways to achieve those goals. And then all you've got to do is take one small step forward towsrd that goal each day. Maybe its redecorating a room, or talking to a stranger to perhaps make a friend, or filling out your resume. As long as we are taking one step forward towards the life we want every day we will be able to look backward and be proud of our growth.
@astrdrw26 I think that's the key. I have a few hobbies I'm trying to pursue, trying to find a new job, navigating a difficult relationship, etc... Itemize those and tackle them individually and make small progress. Thank you
You got it man! I'm subscribed to the thread so don't hesitate to reach out!
And each step cam be something small. I cooked for myself today, or I vaccumed the apartment, I complimented a stranger, I asked someone out to coffee. One day those things will become easier to motivate onesself to do and they become habits that create better energy that create better habits.
i totally get it. i’m 41 and i def experience what ur saying here.
odds are we’re maybe halfway threw this life and that’s genuinely scary for allllot of reasons. but try thinking back and seeing how many memories you currently have from this first 40. for me it feels like 100 lifetimes. albeit when i look back i see mostly mistakes missed and flaws. but even still thats alllllllot of life. so think about how much time is ahead of you. there’s so much opportunity there esp with all the knowledge you have now.
you got this doggie!!!
🙂🙂🙂
@raymond1203 that's very true. I feel like I've lived a thousand lives already. I guess one scary aspect is fearing the back half of life will be just as unpleasant as the first. Ya know, just that feeling of anxiety even thinking that as a possible is what I'm afraid of.
But you're right. That's a long time I have ahead to do things differently and enjoy my life. Thank you
anytime friend. and i don’t think the back half will be worse than the first half bc of everything we have now. we have a much better chance of making it great now. just gotta keep on a positive path with a positive mindset.
we got this!!
💪😎
I understand it can be overwhelming approaching 40 years of age.
@Mezmer
Maybe I am not a good example here, but with 40 in my back mirror for over a decade I think that actually... nothing disastrous happened about my age. Quite the opposite: most of the time I feel younger, nimbler, calmer and more joyful. And knowing things like that a ten miles walk is maybe no longer the best thing for me is just about accepting one's limitations.
Hi Mezmer,
I feel the same so you are not alone there. I try to focus on finding joy in my life. It's tough but it is really admirable that you are reflective at this point in your life. I wish you a happy birthday when the time comes around.
I'm in my late twenties and I feel this way most times. I think it's due to unrealistic standards and timelines set by a society where the odds are highly manipulated.
I do hope it gets better. ♥️
@Mezmer
I might actually think if this as a blessing. You are aware of your life timeline and now you can actually try to address some of the things within your control. There are a lot of great things that happen in life after 40.. and before passing. Fit some of them in while you still can. I am over 60 now and very aware that I am much closer to the end of life than I have ever been. Physical aspects of life get more difficult as your body ages. So, do some of the fun, but harder to do thing while you still can. I have found many of the activities that I enjoy are now a bit too difficult for me to enjoy at this point. High hopes for you and try your best to enjoy and fit more into life in the coming years!
@SleeplessVet
I always see type-os AFTER I hit post. Think of this .. not think if this. .. smh
@Mezmer
I feel You. I will be 41 soon and memories about depression after hitting 40 is still fresh. All you do in adulthood is nice, but nothing lead to any kind of security or even reliability. You still can relay just on yourself but now your own body starts to betray you. No one has any interest in you besides what you can bring to the table or comfort others and you think something like "I trying to be good for everyone for so long and here I stand. Looks like I'm still not learned my life lesson and I got not a single clue what is it about".