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Mezmer
3 478 M Embraced 4
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts104 Forum posts22 Forum upvotes64 Current upvotes64 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2024 Member sinceOctober 23, 2024
Recent forum posts
Fear of time is running out
35 & Over Community / by Mezmer
Last post
 2 days ago
...See more I'll be 40 in a few months and I think that's highly contributing to some of the problems I've been having. For the last several months, I've been more emotional than I've ever been. Ordinarily, I'm not an overtly emotional person but feel them deeply inside. Now it feels like my internal damn broke and I'm struggling.  I'm more sad, angry, depressed, lonely and isolated than I've ever been. I think a lot of this is contributed to my feeling of time's running out for me to be happy. I've had a rough life with the bad outweighing the good drastically. Now that I'm almost 40, I guess I feel like it may never happen when I just breathe and live a happy, loving, semi-peaceful life.  Is this common approaching 40?
Where do I start and when does it end
General Support / by Mezmer
Last post
 November 10th
...See more Hi, I'm new here.  I don't know where to start or what to say. But I suppose I'll start with what lead me here. I have a very difficult time opening up to anyone. I'm almost 40 and I've had an incredible difficult/traumatic life. From early childhood and life never really let up since. I'm a very high-guarded man that can be very emotionally withdrawn. I prefer to take the stoicism approach because I feel like life has hardened my armor a little too much. I feel weak and emasculated when I open up about my struggles.  I'm going through a very difficult breakup. I was laidoff last year from a job I spent almost 20yrs at. My current job is terrible and I'm trying to hard to get a new one, but with little success. I'm a full-time single parent of a teenager and have full custody after going through a 3yr long court battle due to the other parents extreme mental illness. Which I probably have PTSD from that. Friends are fleeting and so is motivation to pursue hobbies.  I don't know, maybe I feel like at almost 40, I keep waiting for things to get easier so I can breathe for the first time. But I feel so alone and isolated. Most of all, I'm just simply tired. Tired of every aspect of life being a constant struggle.  I don't know how this works, but thanks for reading all that, if you did.
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