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Mezmer
1 136 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts17 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2024 Member sinceOctober 23, 2024
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Where do I start and when does it end
General Support / by Mezmer
Last post
 2 days ago
...See more Hi, I'm new here.  I don't know where to start or what to say. But I suppose I'll start with what lead me here. I have a very difficult time opening up to anyone. I'm almost 40 and I've had an incredible difficult/traumatic life. From early childhood and life never really let up since. I'm a very high-guarded man that can be very emotionally withdrawn. I prefer to take the stoicism approach because I feel like life has hardened my armor a little too much. I feel weak and emasculated when I open up about my struggles.  I'm going through a very difficult breakup. I was laidoff last year from a job I spent almost 20yrs at. My current job is terrible and I'm trying to hard to get a new one, but with little success. I'm a full-time single parent of a teenager and have full custody after going through a 3yr long court battle due to the other parents extreme mental illness. Which I probably have PTSD from that. Friends are fleeting and so is motivation to pursue hobbies.  I don't know, maybe I feel like at almost 40, I keep waiting for things to get easier so I can breathe for the first time. But I feel so alone and isolated. Most of all, I'm just simply tired. Tired of every aspect of life being a constant struggle.  I don't know how this works, but thanks for reading all that, if you did.
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