Checking out
I'm starting to check out...it's just becoming too hard to have these ptsd episodes because of him.
I really just want to numb everything and not feel pain and struggle.
When is something going to really give? What will it take?
@zeetee17 i am ssorry to hear you are experiencing challenging feelings related to PTSD symptoms and wanting to find ways to cope with them. It is natural to feel overwhelmed. It is difficult dealing with these intense emotions. Would you share more about what triggers your PTSD episodes?
Being in a toxic relationship and experiencing several instances of betrayal until the ultimate act of betrayal, he had an affair. I found out 6 days before we signed closing papaers for a house and less then 2 months before our wedding.
It's been 2 and a half years and I still get nightmares, flashbacks and intrusive thoughs, despite seeing a couples psychotherapist.
I'm sorry for you're pain. You are a diamond in a world full of cubic zirconiums. Don't let anyone dull your shine.
Idk your situation but I do know they say when you're ready to give up its just around the corner. Dont give up the world is a better place with you in it. This will be the second time we've interacted and you've made my day brighter.
Thank you, that's a nice thing to say.
My situation is trying to recover from PTSD due to betrayal trauma. I had a toxic relationship with my now husband and dealt with many instances of him not being a good guy, which itself did a lot of damage to my self worth.
When my husband was engaged to me, he cheated on me on me for 2 months, 8 months before our wedding.
We've been in couples therapy literally the day after I found out because he's insisting that we work it out and that he's a changed man.
But I'm so damaged over it and the PTSD gets really bad,
Thank you for your kind words
Have things improved?
He's changed, so yeah he's improved.
But I've change too. there's too much pain, hate and resentment inside of me no matter what he does now.
I'm still doing couples therapy, I know I haven't left him because somewhere deep down I do feel some love towards him, and I resent that too.
if he didn't do a total 180 I would have left.
@zeetee17
I feel for you. I also am suffering in a relationship. However, he didn't cheat per se, he's an alcoholic. I finally found help. The first thing I was told is that I suffer from PTSD due to my childhood. I grew up during a time where it was acceptable to hit children. My husband hit me once while drunk. He doesn't remember. He blames me, berates me, calls me names, etc. (Verbally and emotionally). I am working with my psych and my therapist to build up my self-esteem and do what needs to be done for myself and my kids to start to heal. I am also living with the dread that something is going to give soon. I am afraid it will be me. You are not alone.
Gosh that is so awful. I'm so sorry you're in this situation. I hope you can get to a place where you can do what you need to do to feel safe. Is your husband unaware that you are getting help? Is he not trying to get help?
How's it going for you ? 30 M here
Hi there, some days are better than others.
I think I'm struggling with the fact that I expected to be so much more at this stage of life. I wanted more for myself and be happy. I feel like what he did changed me and my outlook on the world. I'm just trying to find myself now
@zeetee17 sometimes people experience events that changes the trajectory of their life’s and leaves them experiencing disillusionment, anger and hopelessness. It is really hard to comprehend that this time though it feels overwhelming and extreme, on this journey though it will be difficult to bare will leave you changing your beliefs and recreating your sense of self. He tore you down temporarily, but what kind of growth can you imagine by allowing yourself to go through the grieving process and feel deep compassion for the instability you go through? Your life may not go back to the way it was, it usually doesn’t when your core gets jolted. The changes you are experiencing will change your perspectives, in time with recovery you can reframe, and reenforce what got broken. It will take you on a different path than the one you had planned. Your trauma will close some doors while opening others. Ut helps to gave a solid support system to be able to reach out too when things seem unbearable. 7 cups is a start, but you can expanded your support system when you are ready. How can you see yourself being able to come to terms with a new reality and grow your new awareness and identify your new strengths?
I understand, it is challenging leaving a toxic relationship. It has taken me some time to heal from leaving mine. Noises still get to me, especially late at night. Take things one day at a time. What has helped me cope is focusing on things I enjoy doing. It helps to ease the pain.
I hope you feel better.
