Age gaps in dating - what's ok?

@amusingPlace961

I have seen some gap relationships work however you will get a lot of people who question it.  It is none of their business but in all ways people will question if younger partner is looking for a a sugar partner.      

The difficulty is you both will grow and change and you have been through phases in life that they have not gone through. I think that difference is something that sneaks up on gap relationships. 

 If this is just fun and dating it is different then planning long term.    

I feel it has potential to be long term, that is why I am considering it, but am a little hesitant just based on the backlash I might receive.

@amusingPlace961

I just went through this experience which led me to join this community to work through it. Ultimately, I believe it was worth the effort, even though the person I was interested in wasn’t able to handle it in the long run, I recognized that some of the issue was him fighting his own personal demons and recognizing that where I was in life, he didn’t want to bring his shortcomings into a relationship. I would go for it again if given the chance. Sometimes a strong connection can be overcome if each person is mature enough and on the same path. I’ve seen quite a few successful age gap relationships with an older female and younger male which is what led me to try it. Whatever you do, just remember you are worth it and if it doesn’t work, you aren’t responsible for the other persons ability to handle all that comes with the relationship, and the taboo associated with it doesn’t have to effect either of you.

Not only is such a gap a 'no go' for me, but it is also a romance with a coworker. I've seen too many gross stories about people working in the same place.

I terms of the gap, it could imply the need to be parenting someone in order to get validation and appreciation. Sometimes is rooted in childhood and patterns (similar relationships) may reveal that false need.

@amusingPlace961

Hello, did you got in know with him better? It would be great to talk to him and ask his opinion about that

@amusingPlace961

I am currently in a reltionship with someone who is almost 20 years older than me. I like the age gap because he is more mature and able to help me with issues that I am struggling with.  I def get asked alot about the age gap between us but I have also always dated older men. In addition, I have a lot of friends who older due to the pickleball community I am part of.  I don't see why age gap relationships have to be such a big deal past a person's mid 20s.  

I heard some people say, "age is just a number".. I think what matters more is what you both have as an envision of your future. If you're dating to get married at the end, make sure you're both on a same page. I think when it comes to an age gap, it's really based on self-preference, those who love you should support your decisions. But office romances.. it could go either way, so I'd be more cautious.

Personally, I think 10 - 12 years is max.

@amusingPlace961

@amusingPlace961 There's nothing I can add re age gaps (always dated older women when I was playing the field), but if I were you I would not date coworkers. Mixing business with pleasure is almost never a good move. If the relationship doesn't work out & you two break up, the work environment will likely be awkward at best & continually hostile at worst. I speak from experience here. Made that mistake once, then I learned--it wasn't the kind of lesson you could ignore. Remember: whether you hit it off with him, it fizzles out, one of you breaks it off or whatever, you will still have to see him every day for as long as you both work at the same place.

Personally I don't feel any issues with that..me too gone through such dating situation and it was so comfortable

@amusingPlace961  Sounds like you are really anxious about the age gap with your friend.