43 and of little value
I'm a 43 year old man. I have no children. I am in a long term relationship where I raised her son from a previous relationship. I'm realizing now that by not having children, I am biologically insignificant. I have literally consumed resources on this planet and done nothing of value.
I guess I'm a cuck. Fit for being a worker bee and a cog in the system, not for reproduction. I wish I had known years ago, so I could have not bothered with any of it. I won't hurt myself, but I wish I hadn't been born.
@supalark I am so sorry you feel this way and yet I completely understand. Not carrying on in a biological way and ending the family tree from your branch can be extremely off putting and make you feel depressed and unworthy. Coming from a family that is all about continuing the legacy and passing on the family name yet all my aunts and uncles and even parents all had two girls except two uncles. One of them had a boy and then a bunch of stuff happened and he essentially had to sign off on him and my cousins mom remarried and he adopted said cousin giving him his last name. That leaves one uncle that had one boy and he now has one little boy. That’s all there is to carry on the family name. Huge blow to my grandfather, at the time it was a huge family crisis. Now, my grandfather is gone, my grandmother as well, all the siblings have drifted apart and barely speak to each other and us cousins that were once so close we were raised as siblings are almost complete strangers besides following *** posts. In my mind and heart my family is my family, I know where I came from and I know my daughter knows where she came from, my aunts name, my cousins name, my name doesn’t matter in this world. As long as all are safe and happy then that’s all that matters. Also the fact that the name may not be carried on but your family values will most definitely be carried on in that young man and now into his child as he raises him/her. You very much are not worthless, and just because he is now 23 with a child of his own doesn’t mean you will no longer be needed. Adult children still need their parents as do grandchildren. I hope this helps you feel better about yourself. You did something most can’t say and that’s raising a child that was not your own but still loving him as your own and loving and caring for and providing for him and his mother are absolutely remarkable feats in the world today. Your family still very much needs your love and support to continue showing them a positive path in life.
@supalark I'm a young woman who has decided not to have children and you have helped raise someone else's child which makes you an outstanding human. Honestly, the vast amount of people who prioritize reproduction as their one value to earth truly boggles my mind. The world potentially is falling apart from my viewpoint--it's a struggle to take care of yourself and maintain healthy and loving relationships in our current world. You're doing great even if you aren't someone's biological parent. In your life you helped someone younger than you by teaching them lessons and navigating a complex society that we live in. You're holding a job, putting food on the table, and have a roof over your family's head which is outstanding.
@JustPeacy2019 💯 I appreciate your perspective, important to invest ourselves to advocate for the humanitarian good, rather than concern ourselves with lineage at the expense of bringing another aboard planet earth to suffer an unpredictable fate.
I'm not antinatalist, but a pronatalist with strict ethical constraints. Stay great friend! 💯💙
@JustPeacy2019 💯 I appreciate your perspective, important to invest ourselves to advocate for the humanitarian good, rather than concern ourselves with lineage at the expense of bringing another aboard planet earth to suffer an unpredictable fate.
I'm not antinatalist, but a pronatalist with strict ethical constraints. Stay great friend! 💯💙
@supalark Tough spot to find oneself, feeling used by a woman, and that, for all your investment people act in exploitative and self interested ways.
For your commitment and consistency is admireable, but certainly I can understand the frustration of being used and tossed aside after the thankless job of parenting another's kin. It hurts.
And his long-term girlfriend might fight it really hurtful that he doesn’t value her companionship or love!
@modestHickory6360 where on earth do you get the idea that I don't value her companionship?
I’m sorry if I was harsh in my other post! But words like “cuck” online are commonly used by radical incel groups, so I thought you were one of those people who had those toxic beliefs. I see now I jumped to conclusions, I apologize…
The word cuck actually means a man whose wife was unfaithful to him or slept with another man. It’s also used to mean “weak” but it’s not a neutral term, and it’s almost always used by actual deviants who literally think it’s weak to care about stuff like consent. (I’m not saying you’re like that, but if you ever come across any message boards or Twitter accounts where guys talk like this, you should be careful because you’re actually going down a rabbit hole!) This might actually contribute to poor self-esteem and depression.
I’m sorry I judged you, and I apologize again.
@modestHickory6360 When it comes to my cougar mommas I make it clear I don't mind investing my emotive resources but I certainly won't spend material investment upon another man's crotch fruit. Not my field, not my crop.
@supalark There are already way to many people on Earth
@Agoniac I mean, to make more
@Agoniac To raise a child into a good person is a thing of big value
@Agoniac +1 on that. Most current population projections put the global increase to around 11 billion before it levels off & starts to decline. We're over 8 billion now; that is way too many mouths to feed & an×ses to clean up after.
I’m 37 (female) no children I never really tried but I don’t have a partner. I had bad relationships but I won’t get into my story. I do feel empty sometimes with not having a child. It’s okay I have plans for other things in my life.
I understand you would like to be able to have your own child. To pass on your own legacy I don’t know how your partner feels about having another child. Maybe you need to talk about it? That’s entirely up to you I don’t know anything about that.
I think it’s wonderful you are helping to raise this child. Your partner is so lucky to have you right now. I hope you feel very loved by both of them. You’re doing something that you don’t have to do by caring for two not just one person. I know things get difficult in life but as long as we love each other and help each other it means a lot.
This child will remember you for loving and caring the family. I hope you don’t feel like you have to do more to prove it.
@Muse4apoem She doesn't want any more. I'm not actually sure I do, either.
I think it's more about finding some sort of purpose. In the grand scheme of things, I subbed in for a father. As it turns out, now that he is grown up, he is close to his biological father. That's great- overall, he is a decent guy. It does mean I'm not quite as significant- at best, I was a babysitter. He has good memories with his biological father- he'd show up four times a year and take him places and buy him things. I'd tell him to do his homework and take a bath and such.
If you want a closer relationship with your step son, you can invite him to go somewhere with you. It doesn’t have to be often, maybe just once a year.
@supalark https://youtu.be/lieJIxJZs1M?si=5Mysa_OwnfQRMFof
Life isn't just about passing on your genes... We can leave behind much more than just DNA. Listen to this speech. It may help you.
@supalark you sound like a great person for me honestly. Im learning to heal and accept the generational trauma, and me too hate to be in this planet. Lets hope we heal together🥲🥲
@supalark
I think it is the other way round. Right now the earth is over-populated. There is scarcity of food, drinking water, place to stay. As a result, the compassion among the fellow humans is also low. As I see it, you have been selfless and have a genuine opportunity to understand and know the deepest secrets of life unlike people who cannot
@coolj9 This is the truth.
@supalark
YOU RAISED A BOY
HE MAY NOT BE YOURS
BUT TO HIM YOU ARE HIS FATHER so dont let that slip through your mind when the bad thoughts come attacking
@supalark I feel you bro