Just feel like quitting life.
I don't want to live like this: Worrying about the future, what will happen when I lose my job, how will I care for my mother. How will I find someone who likes me and can accept me with all my flaws. How can I make very good friends in a society that does not foster that (asian country, with strong family but not friendship ties).
I just want someone to take over, to take lead and I can just be support. continue working my job then move to something lower when I lose my job, and stay out of the way. I don't like having to make the decisions but here I am, having to decide a dozen of things.
And the one choice I want to take I cannot, because I must be here for my mother. I love her so much, she is such a wonderful person and has suffered so much, I just want to make that she is okay and when she needs help I can afford it. I wish I was rich, then I wouldn't have to worry.
I know it is crazy to say this, and maybe a bit reductive, but money would solve all of my problems. It sounds simple, and yet so hard: If I was smart I could get another degree that is in high demand and get into that industry. But I am not smart, so I am stuck in this dead end job.
I think we all are feeling this way. Especially with the economy. I look at my 401k it’s tanking… I’m having to get loans to stay afloat. My job doesn’t give bonuses and micromanages our PTO. I don’t really plan for the future anymore and I just live day to day. I think if we lived in Eastern society we would all feel better. Less emphasis placed on material things
It is like you found a way into my heart and mind and clearly articulate much of what I’m experiencing.
The desire to understand how to be happy, healthy and wealthy when one feels trapped by life.
My culture too has strong family ties and I seem to have never developed the ability for friendship.
Yet I’m sociable and presentable with a good sense of humour who is adventurous and passionate.
Yet my fine qualities only seem to make the position I’m in now - uninspired job, not rich - harder!
I recently acquired a counsellor after a year without one, moved to a new town and am single.
My last relationship was long (almost a decade) and doing things on my own still feels weird.
Cooking, making plans, going out...there is no one to do it with anymore and I’m not used to it.
I’m practicing challenges that encourage growth in a sustainable manner, and being kind.
Sometimes it’s hard to practice kindness around people who are rubbing me the wrong way.
Today I was really challenged in many different ways and I had to practice being calm and strong!
I don’t like that because some days (like today) I just want to have fun and pace myself. Not struggle!
I must look at how I contributed to the day not going well and see how I could try do it differently.
For example I could have gone to bed earlier, drank more water and meditated as soon as I awoke.
I could have also wrote down things I’m grateful for, called a help line and ate more healthily.
Sometimes I think I’m just stuck and always will be and that progress is a lie. This is depressing.
In those moments remembering that I have the switch in me to snap back to my power is helpful.
It’s helpful because once I remember that the power is waiting for me within, I can flick the switch.
Sometimes it seems like I just can’t and that’s it is an uphill slog. But that is another life lesson.
I’m not the smartest tool in the shed. I’m authentic, kind, funny and creative. Thats okay too.
It also okay to not be okay. I hate being poor! I know all my problems will be solved with wealth.
So I try understand that mood. I embrace it and use it to fuel progress. It’s like life compost!
Sure...like compost it stinks because every part of our good being may want change now. No waiting!
And realizing and accepting we’re not there yet is painful at times. But, giving up is much more painful.
The times I gave up were hard on me and my family. I must do my best, and not be THE best.
Doing our best is enough because then we don’t need to expect something impossible to happen.
It may not be sexy but it is powerful to make steps, no matter what size in the direction of success.
Falling back into old ways is just part of the journey. During those tough times, what helps you?
Ask yourself this question and learn to think critically, and not be negative. That drains energy.
When you notice negativity, flip that switch and do what you need to do to redirect and pivot.
Onward and upward and outward and inward. And whatever other ways. Keep going. You’re sauce.
calmWatermelon413
This is so inspiring.
@Dallady
Thank you. I am working on understanding and accepting my emotions. Like you said, it is like compost. I think my issue is that I am looking for someone to fix my problem for me or give me my solution, so I keep ruminating (I tell myself I am thinking).
Thank you for reaching out, it helps a lot. And it was so well written.
Exactly. It's an emotional problem not intellectual. Make smaller goals. Focus on yourself first. And the simple problems first.
Are you sleeping right? No, focus on that. Are you drinking enough water? Are you eating healthy? Are you fasting from time to time (it's key, yes)? Are you meditating? Doing yoga occasionally? Doing something fun occasionally?
Make sure you get the basics right. The rest comes with time.
Think through the worst case scenario in detail, and what will happen afterwords. Don't stop at "I'll lose my job and my house." Go on to "I'll get another job and another house." It's true that bad things will happen to you, but you will deal with them and continue.
This is the method used in cognitive behavioral therapy, and it is effective. A book I’ve seen recommended by both professionals and people alike is a CBT book called "The Anxiety And Worry Workbook.”
@Sn0r1ax Thank you, I will see about that book. But how does CBT knows it is true that I will find another job? Like, statistically, things are likely to get worse, not better.
I don’t think CBT is really about “knowing.” CBT is pretty much about finding cognitive (thought based) reasons for negative feelings and actions and life, and then in a way training the mind to work around these cognitive roadblocks on the road to actualization.
@calmWatermelon413 I feel the same way. I make choices and life makes me regret them day after day. I’ve tried my best to keep fighting but I’m not a superhero. I can’t anymore and it sucks to know that there’s nothing I can do to help myself.
Let's do this together^^
@calmWatermelon413
I met a lot of Millionaires throughout my career and I can tell you that most of them were not exceptionally smart, probably just average IQ.
They did have one thing in common, though. There were ALL very dedicated and persistent in their efforts to accomplish their goals and have not stopped despite failing multiple times at the beginning.
Nothing is handed easy to us in life. We have to fight for it.
You can accomplish whatever you want, if you set your mind to it. It's up to you.
Me too, dude. And now we are both gonna get banned, because 7 cups sucks
@calmWatermelon413
Hi! I've been through some dark times, I often cried at night, and I come from an Asian country, so I understand how you feel. It's good to learn about the law of attraction. Some people may think it's just a myth or it's dumb but I think it really works. Basically, it is knowing that everything in this universe is vibrating at different frequencies and to attract the thing you want you have to be on the same level of frequency as that object. So what I did were self-affirmations and manifestation (basically persuading yourself that you already got or succeed at something.) For instance, I am rich or I will be rich or I am a (your dream job), it can give a bit of hope. Sometimes we all feel like quitting on life but as I've noticed you have someone that makes you not want to leave. You want the best for her, I'm sure she would like that for you in return. If you need a reminder, know that I love you even though we might be miles apart❤️