I don't want to live like this: Worrying about the future, what will happen when I lose my job, how will I care for my mother. How will I find someone who likes me and can accept me with all my flaws. How can I make very good friends in a society that does not foster that (asian country, with strong family but not friendship ties).

I just want someone to take over, to take lead and I can just be support. continue working my job then move to something lower when I lose my job, and stay out of the way. I don't like having to make the decisions but here I am, having to decide a dozen of things.

And the one choice I want to take I cannot, because I must be here for my mother. I love her so much, she is such a wonderful person and has suffered so much, I just want to make that she is okay and when she needs help I can afford it. I wish I was rich, then I wouldn't have to worry.

I know it is crazy to say this, and maybe a bit reductive, but money would solve all of my problems. It sounds simple, and yet so hard: If I was smart I could get another degree that is in high demand and get into that industry. But I am not smart, so I am stuck in this dead end job.